Proofread translation of Frank's dialogue, please.

Question

I posted this in the original thread, but then thought maybe I should have listed it under proofreading. We are considering making a Reference Article of his dialogues, so we need a translation. (Of course, his wife [or Paco] could do a much better job, but why impose? She [they] was generous enough to consult on the original dialogue.)

• Host: Buenas noches, bienvenidos.¿ Dos personas?
• Host: Good evening, welcome. Two people?
• Client 1: Buenas noches. Sí, somos dos. Queremos una mesa para dos personas
• Client 1: Good evening. Yes, there are two of us. We would like want a table for two.
• Host: ¿Tienen reservación?
• Host: Do you have a reservation?
• Client 2: No, no tenemos.
• Client 2: No, we do not have one don't.
• Host: Permítanme un momento.
• Host: Excuse me a moment.
• (Él va a checar con el jefe de camareros)
• (He goes to check with the head waiter)
• Host: Adelante, por favor.
• Host: This way [ or follow me] Come in. please. [Make up my mind!]
• (Los lleva a una mesa con vista al jardín)
• (He takes them to a table with a view of the garden)
• Client 2: Ahh..! buena vista, gracias.
• Client 2: Ahh!..nice view, thank you.
• Host: De nada. Su camarero les atenderá en un momento.
• Host: You're welcome. Your waiter will be with you [will attend you] in a moment"
• Camarero: Buenas noches, mi nombre es Gabriel. Con gusto les atenderé esta noche, ¿ Les gustaría un aperitivo para empezar?
• Waiter: Good evening, my name is Gabriel. It will be a pleasure to serve you tonight. Would you like to start off with an aperiftifapéritif?
• Client 1: Sí. Para mí, un martini en las rocas. “ Absolut” por favor.
• Client 1: Yes, For myself, a martini on the rocks. Absolut, please.
• Client 2: Para mí, un tequila, también en las rocas. “Don Julio”, si es tan amable.
• Client 2: For me, a tequila, also on the rocks. Don Julio, if you would be so kind.
• Camarero: Muy bien, regresaré con sus bebidas en un momento.
• Waiter: Very well, I will return with your drinks in a moment.
• (Pasan unos minutos y el camarero regresa)
• (A few minutes pass, the waiter returns)
• Camarero: Aquí están sus bebidas. Desean ver el menú?
• Waiter: Here are your drinks. Do you wish to see a the menu?
• Client 1: Sí, por favor. Y también la carta de vinos.
• Client 1: Yes, please. And also the wine list.
• Camarero: Aquí tienen.
• Waiter: Here you have it.Waiter: Here you are.
• (El camarero les presenta el menú y también la lista de los vinos)
• (The waiter presents them with [hands them,gives them] the menu and also the wine list)
• Camarero: Regresaré en unos momentos a tomar su orden.
• Waiter: I will return in a few moment to take your order.
• Client 2: Bien, gracias. (Pasa un rato)
• Client 2: Fine, thank you. (A short time pases)
• Camarero: ¿ Están listos para ordenar?
• Waiter: Are you ready to order?
• Client 2: Sí, estamos listos.
• Client 2: Yes, we are ready.
• Camarero: ¿Desean iniciar con un entremés?
• Waiter: Do you wish to begin with hors d'oeuvres? an appetizer
• Client 1: Yo no, gracias. Yo quiero el corte ribeye, medio rojo, con papa al horno.
• Client 1: No, noNot I, thank you. I wish want a ribeye steak, medium rare, with a baked potato.
• Client 2: Yo tampoco. Yo quisiera la pechuga de pollo mediterránea.
• Client 2: Neither do I. I wish would like a Mediterranean chicken breast.
• Camarero: ¿ Les gustaría una ensalada antes?
• Waiter: Would you like a salad beforehand?
• Client 2: Sí, para mí, una ensalada César.
• Client 2: Yes, for me, a Caesar salad.
• Client 1: Para mí la ensalada de la casa. Y tráiganos el merlot chileno “ Casillero del Diablo”
• Client 1: For myself, a house salad. And bring us a Chilean Merlot, Casillero del Diablo.[, please. Thank you.]
• Camarero: ¿ Dos copas ó una botella?
• Waiter, two glasses or a bottle?
• Client 1: Queremos una botella .
• Client 1: We wish want a bottle.
• Camarero: Perfecto. Regresaré con su orden en unos momentos.
• Waiter: Perfect! I will return with your order in a few moments.
• (Él regresó con la orden quince minutos después ) [historical present needed?]
• (He returned returns with the order 15 minutes later.)
• Camarero: ¡Está listo! Permítanme.
• Waiter: It's readyYour dinner is ready! Permit Allow me.
• (Empieza a servir la comida)
• (He begins to serve the meal).
• Client 2: ¿Puede traerme una botella de agua mineral y un vaso con hielo?
• Client 2: Can you bring me a bottle of mineral water and a glass ofwith ice water? (please, thank you) [I'm going to smack this guy!]
• Camarero: Enseguida. ¿Algo más?
• Immediately. Anything else?
• Client 1: Tráigame agua natural, al tiempo, por favor. Es todo.
• Bring me a bottle of spring water, at your convienceat room temperature, please. That's all.
• (El tiempo pasa, los clientes terminan sus platillos)
• Time passes, the customers finish their meal (dishes).
• Camarero: ¿Está todo bien? ¿Puedo retirar sus platos?
• Waiter: Is everthing alright all right? May I remove your plates?
• Client 1 and 2: Sí, todo bien. Puede retirarlo. ( ambos responden).
• Client 1 and 2: Yes, everthing is fine. You may take them. (both respond).
• Camarero: ¿Desean un postre?
• Waiter: Do you wish a dessert?
• Client 2: No, gracias. Estoy satisfecho.
• Client 2: No, thank you. I am full (sated)That was plenty.
• Client 1: Para mí, un helado de vainilla
• Client 1: For myself, a vanilla ice cream.
• Camarero: ¿ Café? ¿ Licor?
• Waiter: Coffee? A liqueur?
• Client 2: Yo quisiera un cappuchino.
• Client 2: I would like a cappachino.
• Client 1: Quiero un café americano con crema. Traiga Splenda, por favor.
• Client 1: I would like a cup of American coffee with cream. Bring Splenda, please.
• Camarero: Correcto. Vuelvo en un instante.
• Waiter: Surely. I will return in an instant.
• ( Él regresa con el café y el postre)
• (He returns with the coffee and dessert.)
• Client 1 and 2: Gracias. (ambos responden )
• Client 1 and 2: Thank you. (both respond)
• (El tiempo pasa, los clientes disfrutan sus postres.)
• Time passes, the customers enjoy their desserts.)
• Camarero: ¿Algo más?
• Waiter: Anything more?
• Client 1: No, gracias, es todo. La cuenta por favor.
• Client 1: No, thank you, that's all. The check, please.
• Camarero: Claro que sí
• Waiter: Of course!
• (El camarero les lleva la cuenta. Los clientes pagan y se van.)
• (The waiter brings them the check. The customers pay and they leave.)
• ¡ Fin !
• The End!

Could someone please proofread? Feel free to suggest better (more natural) phrasing.

"Host" = Maitre d" - Sabor, Jul 31, 2011

Host: You're welcome (line 20) - Eddy, Jul 31, 2011

I can't cange the original dialogue. Host , Client, and Camarero were used. No idea why the Spanglish was used...why not cliente? - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

Host works in Mexico or US Sabor - pacofinkler, Jul 31, 2011

This is great work ! of course I will have to review it, it will be a good excercise for me as well. - pacofinkler, Jul 31, 2011

See my answer below - pacofinkler, Jul 31, 2011

There is no spanglish in the text, as I wrote it we used both spanish and english for the players. - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

G: It is a glass "with" ice, not ice water. - Agora, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 1

Great job, Q! I'm reluctant to suggest a change, but see what you think.

(the wine list) "Here you are"

hors d'oeuvres = appetizer

I wish a Mediterranean , , = I would like

We wish a bottle = we would like

I will return with your order in a few moments (minutes - although moments is ok for the drinks)

[historical present needed?] = Yes

It's ready. Permit me." = "Your dinner is here. Allow me." ("It's ready" for the kitchen, but not the dining room.

alright = all right (two words)

I am full (sated). = "That was good" (or "plenty" without referring to the state of his stomach )

I don't know whether to accept your or Kiwi girl's reply. I'm tossing a coin. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

Heads it was! - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

Answer 2

You did a great job - it's all pretty good I would just make a couple of teensie suggestions

Client 2: No, no tenemos. Client 2: No,

we don't

Host: Adelante, por favor. Host: This way [ or follow me], please.

or - come in

• if he's directing you inside the restaurant in contrast to standing in the entrance?

¿ Les gustaría un aperitivo para empezar? Waiter: Good evening, my name is Gabriel. It will be a pleasure to serve you tonight. Would you like to start off with an aperiftif?

Would you like to start with an aperetif?

That could be regional though - we wouldn't say 'start off' here but it may be common where you're from?

Camarero: Aquí tienen. Waiter: Here you have it.

Here you are

. - not literal as you have it but perhaps more natural as far as the English goes?

(El camarero les presenta el menú y también la lista de los vinos) (The waiter presents them with [hands them] the menu and also the wine list)

also

'gives'

them the menu

Client 2: Yo tampoco. Yo quisiera la pechuga de pollo mediterránea. Client 2: Neither do I. I wish a Mediterranean chicken breast.

I would like

.... (I wish a ... no tiene sentido en esta situación) and same for the next one ...

Client 1: Queremos una botella . Client 1: We wish a bottle.

Camarero: ¡Está listo! Permítanme. Waiter: It's ready. Permit me.

-allow me?

Client 1: Tráigame agua natural, al tiempo, por favor. Es todo. Bring me a bottle of spring water, at your convience, please. That's all.

al tiempo - when it comes to water I think that means

room temperature?

Camarero: ¿Está todo bien? ¿Puedo retirar sus platos? Waiter: Is everthing alright? May I remove your plates?

It's likely fine but just looking at the Spanish I would tend to say -

¿todo está bien?

in that order but it could just be me lol

Client 1 and 2: Sí, todo bien. Puede retirarlo. ( ambos responden). Client 1 and 2: Yes, everthing is fine. You may take them. (both respond).

los - them, platoS

Thank you for the "at room temperature". I didn't have a clue. I noticed the last one, but I can't change the Spanish. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

I don't know whether to accept your or Sabor's reply. I'm tossing a coin. Sorry, you were tails, but I still appreciate your help as much as hers. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

ja ja no worries :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jul 31, 2011

In my opinion "Puede retirarlo" is logical (when both clients respond). It is about the current plate. - Agora, Aug 1, 2011

ah yes I see what you mean :) gracias Agora :) - Kiwi-Girl, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 3

Host: Good evening, welcome. Two people?

Good morning. Welcome, table for two?

Client 1: Good evening. Yes, there are two of us. We would like want a table for >two.

Client 1: Good evening. Yes, a table for two please.

Client 2: No, we do not have one.

No, we don't.

Host: You're welcome. Your waiter will be with you [will attend you] in a moment"

I would stick to 'will be with you.... ' it sounds more natural to me. .

Waiter: Very well, I will return with your drinks in a moment.

Very well, I will bring your drinks in...

Waiter: Here you have it.Waiter: Here you are..

Waiter: Here you are. (this is a more natural expression)

(The waiter presents them with [hands them] the menu and also the wine list)

Either option there sounds OK.

Waiter: I will return in a few moment to take your order.

Either 'a few minutes' or 'in a minute'

Client 2: Yes, we are ready.

This sounds a bit unnatural, I would say Yes, please.

Waiter: Do you wish to begin with hors d'oeuvres? (plural noun in English)

Or would you like a starter (unless it really is a very posh restaurant)

Client 1: No, no thank you. I wish want a ribeye steak, medium rare, with a baked potato.

No starter for me, thank you. I would like the ribeye steak........

Client 2: Neither do I. I wish would like a Mediterranean chicken breast.

Nor for me. I would like the ..........

Waiter: Would you like a salad beforehand?

I have never had a salad first in an English restaurant. Maybe I don't go to the right places?

Client 1: We wish want a bottle.

A bottle please.

(He returned with the order 15 minutes later.)

(He returns.......)

Waiter: It's ready. Permit me.

Your food, may I? (I know that is not a proper sentence but it is the sort of thing a waiter would say, with appropriate gestures indicating that he is going to serve the food.)

Client 2: Can you bring me a bottle of mineral water and a glass of ice water?

Could we have ......, please? Thank you. [I'm going to smack this guy!] Now, now no need for violence

Bring me a bottle of spring water, at your convience, please. That's all.

Correct if a little curt, but probably suits this character.

Time passes, the customers finish their meal (dishes).

I would say meals.

Waiter: Is everthing alright/ all right? May I remove your plates?

According to the dictionary alright is not all right but ti is widely used. :D

Client 1 and 2: Yes, everthing is fine. You may take them. (both respond).

Yes everything is fine. Of course. (again may be not a complete sentence but it is what would be said in speech)

Waiter: Do you wish a dessert?

Would you like a dessert?

Client 2: No, thank you. I am full (sated).

I have never heard anyone use the word sated outside a Dickensian novel.

Client 1: I would like a cup of American coffee with cream. Bring Splenda, please.

The last bit is little curt. I'd like Splenda would be better. (but at least he said please this time)

Waiter: Surely. I will return in an instant.

Maybe in the States but in the UK more likely to be Fine. .......

Waiter: Anything more?

Anything else?

Client 1: No, thank you, that's all. The check, please.

In the UK we say bill instead of check.

I hope that helps. Some of it is merely a matter of opinion and there are a few things which are probably differences between American and British English.

When is salad served in the UK (with the entre?). In the US, it (soup or salad) follows any appetizers (or substitues as an appetizer) and precedes the main entre. Of course, remember that we are a fast food society and our meals don't last as long as - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

in some cultures. Bill or check are synonymous here in the U.S. Uou hear either. I don't want to re-phrase the sentences too much from the Spanish, because beginners will be reading for vocabulary and I want to use the normal English words associated - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

with the Spanish ones as much as possible without sounding awkward. I think that I changed a few of these while you were making your suggestins. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

Thank you for your comments. The dialogue belongs to Pacofinkler, and he, of course, will have final decision on how it is translated. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

Often salad is served as a main meal in itself or as a starter. In more and more fairly casual restaurants there are help yourself salad bars and people tend to chomp salad before and during the meal but that is a new thing. - MaryMcc, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 4

• Host: ¿Tienen reservación?>--------in Spain we would say: tiene reserva?

• (Él va a checar con el jefe de camareros)>---------checar is not used in Spain, va a comprobarlo con el ....

• Camarero: Buenas noches, mi nombre es Gabriel. Con gusto les atenderé esta noche, ¿ Les gustaría un aperitivo para empezar?

• Waiter: Good evening, my name is Gabriel. It will be a pleasure to serve you tonight. Would you like to start off with an aperiftif?

IN this case, I guess he is asking them if they want something to drink, in Spain we would say: ¿Les traigo algo de beber?

• Client 1: Sí. Para mí, un martini en las rocas. “ Absolut” por favor.>---------------- Martino con hielo...omg, en rocas

• Camarero: Aquí están sus bebidas. Desean ver el menú?

• Waiter: Here are your drinks. Do you wish to see a menu?

In Spain we distinguish between menu (la carta) and dish of the day (el menu), so here we would say: carta

• Camarero: Aquí tienen.

• Waiter: Here you have it.>----------------- here you are

• Camarero: ¿ Están listos para ordenar?>------para pedir

• Waiter: Are you ready to order?

• Camarero: ¿Desean iniciar con un entremés?

• Waiter: Do you wish to begin with hors d'oeuvres? (plural noun in English)>-----------with an apetizer, ración, or something

• Client 1: Yo no, gracias. Yo quiero el corte ribeye, medio rojo, con papa al horno. >----no idea what this is, Chinese I guess

I will continue tomorrow quentin.

I can't change the Spanish...it's not mine. I'm only interested in my translation to English. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

"...no idea what this is, Chinese I guess...". Well, usages can be very different between Spain and Mexico, and both are Spanish. A ribeye is a ribeye, in Mexico City or in New York. - - Agora, Aug 1, 2011

exactly, how could it be the same word in both languages? here we still speak some Spanish Spanish, jeje - 00494d19, Aug 1, 2011

Interesting.... During my visits to Spain I have heard Spaniards using in daily life, words like: bacon, jersey, gay, dandy, etc. We are all victims of internationalization - Agora, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 5

Gfreed:

I like your translation, because you are preserving the difference between "want" and "would like". I think, it needs to be this way, as the writer is clearly indicating the difference in the personalities of the clients. As I see it, "client 1" has a direct manner, where "client 2", appears to have a more gentle nature. Neither are impolite. These are two different ways of expressing the same thing.

"Quiero" is clearly "I want", while "Quisiera" can be translated as "I would like". Quiero is common in Mexican Spanish, where in English it may not be so.

Please understand, parts of this cannot be translated literally. Neither can you change the nature or character of the dialogue. It is what it is. Rigid grammar rules are pure theory, they do not always apply to daily speech.

In my opinion, Paco's script, looks to me like a typical exchange that would occur in this environment ( at least in Mexico).

Yes, Paco maide the point that the Clients had different personalities. I was too distracted to concentrate on it. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 6

To Q especially but to all as well. as you work with this please take note of the difference in personality of the two clients ( in Spanish( and see if you can preserve that!

My word ,thank you one and all for your interest in this!

Thank "Y O U". Remember that you owe us 98 more of these. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

Hi Q I have a few more ready - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 7

Host: Adelante, por favor. Host: This way [ or follow me], please.

or - come in

Not really kiwi, the people are inside the restaurant, you do not talk to a headwaiter outside .

lol, I was just tying it in with how when you visit someone sometimes they say 'pasa' but others 'adelante' meaning come in je je - Kiwi-Girl, Jul 31, 2011

Answer 8

Very awesome for you to do this! I have a few edits/suggestions:

aperiftif

apéritif

Desean ver el menú?

Do you wish to see the menu?

Yo no, gracias. Yo quiero el corte ribeye...

Not I, thank you.

Can you bring me a bottle of mineral water and a glass with ice water?

-

Enseguida. ¿Algo más?

Perhaps it sounds more natural to say "Right away. Anything else?"

Do you wish a dessert?

Would you like a dessert?

cappachino

cappuccino

Quiero un café americano con crema.

I want/I will have an American coffee with cream.

Correcto. Vuelvo en un instante.

"Surely" doesn't seem quite right to me. How about "Right. I will be back in an instant."

¿Algo más?

Anything else?

Yes gintar, you are right. It is a glass with ice. "Ice water" is incorrect. - Agora, Aug 1, 2011

(capachino was the English spelling that I found in my dictionary) - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 9

Jajjajaj

Waiter: Is everthing alright/s> all right? May I remove your plates?

The taq is bad.

And now??

Answer 10

queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeentin, what did you do????? Or was that you kiwi?

I'm working on it. Jeez...give me time to make corrections. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

what did i do? lol :P - Kiwi-Girl, Jul 31, 2011

kiwi, he crossed out the whole page, lol - 00494d19, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 11

Why has the whole thing got lines through?

You probably saw it when I was making corrections. The formatting gets hairy. - 0074b507, Jul 31, 2011

Answer 12

Jajjajaj

Waiter: Is everthing alright/s> all right? May I remove your plates?

The taq is bad.

And now??

Answer 13

Weird!!!