Breaking News - Gekko Shooting News Conference
October 29 - SD News: In view of the alarming proliferation of conflicting news and rumors, earlier this morning the Coalition of Friends and Family of the Gekko called a press conference in the Catherine Ecco Room of the Ritz Spangliton Hotel.
A panel of experts were asked to provide statements in order to check the rampant river of rumor and ruinous rethoric that has swamped the news channels since the cowardly attack agains His Geckiness two days ago.
First to speak was the famed psychic Madame Sannelly, who went into a trance and started uttering: "I see, I see! I see sand, I see light! I saw and had seen - veía y veo - preterite, imperfection! Oh, oh! I had seen remote places! Estaba viajando!" And then collapsed.
After a stunned silence, Master Detective Joe Nosey, moved adroitly to declare: "The truth is self evident. You forget - or perhaps have been mis-lead to believe otherwise - that we're dealing with a Gecko, here - a resourceful and surprising being. I shall say no more, for we must bid the right time for everything to fall into place."
Mr. Nosey's declarations were followed by a statement from the famed Tropical Fauna specialist, Dr. Kemeven Bundolo, who said: "Oye vale, don't belive those who say that The Gekko is an Axolotl. O sea, you only have to look at him, cónchale! An axolotl is an aquatic being, for starters, and has those funky red gills on its side. Gekko is a Tuqueque, trust me! I know! ¡ Una salamandra, por favor!!.
The conference was closed with the following statement from the famous legalist Dr. Woodrow Wilson Smith: "This is clearly a case of the subjunctive following a reflexive adverbial clause in the pluscuanperfect when "estar" appears to be in the imperfect, but the speaker's dimensional stance affects the flow of time and space in a retrograde manner. So my recommendation is that we proceed according to usage and custom, rather than the strict interpretation of the ancient rules."
29 de Octubre - SD News: En vista de la alarmante proliferación de noticias y rumores conflictivos, la Coalición de Familiares y Amigos de Gekko convocó a una rueda de prensa esta mañana, en el salón Catherine Ecco del Hotel Ritz Spangliton.
Se le solicitó a un panel de expertos que prestaran declaraciones con el objeto de limitar el río exhuberante de rumoresy retórica ruin que ha inundado los canales de noticias desde el ataque cobarde contra su Geckidad hace dos días.
La primera en hablar fue la famosa síquica Madame Sannelly, quién entró en un trance y comenzó a proferir: "Yo veo, yo veo, yo veo, veo arena, veo luz! Vi y he visto, veía y veo, pretérito, imperfección! Oh, oh! He visto lugares remotos Estaba viajando!" e inmediatamente colapsó.
Luego de un silencio atónito, el Maestro Detective Joe Nosey se movió ágilmente para declarar: "La verdad es evidente por sí misma. Ustedes olvidan - o tal vez han sido engañados para creer otra cosa - que lo que aquí tenemos es un Gecko, - un ser sorprendente y con muchos recursos. No diré más nada, porque debemos esperar el momento adecuado para que todo caiga en su lugar."
La declaraciones del Sr. Nosey fueron seguidas por un comunicado del famoso especialista en Fauna Tropical, el Dr. Kemeven Bundolo, quien dijo: "Oye vale, no le crean a esos que dicen que El Gekko es un Axolotl. O sea, sólo tienes que verlo, cónchale! Un axolotl es un ser acuático, para empezar, y tiene esas branquiecitas raras en los lados. Créanmelo, Gekko es un Tuqueque Yo lo se! ¡ Una salamandra, por favor!!.
La conferencia cerró con la siguiente declaración del famoso legalista, el Dr. Woodrow Wilson Smith: "Esto es claramente un caso del subjuntivo siguiendo una cláusula adverbial reflexiva en el pluscuanperfecto cuando "estar" aparece en el imperfecto, pero la postura dimensional del hablante afecta el flujo del tiempo y el espacio de manera retrógrada. Así que mi recomendación es que procedamos de acuerdo con uso y costumbre, en vez de la interpretación estricta de las reglas anticuadas."
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Chicago (CP)--NEW GEKKO SIGHTING
Sources close to us at "The Tattler" have informed us that Gekkosan has been spotted yet again, this time in disguise in the lockdown ward of the "Lagarto Manicomio" (Lizard Insane Asylum). Citing privacy rules, administrators for the madhouse refuse comment, but a nurse confirms that "His Gekkoness", as he prefers to be called, was admitted last night with a diagnosis of delusions of grandeur. "When we told him that to us he was just another crazy reptile, he just kind of fell apart. When I left this morning he was hunched in the corner, rocking back and forth and singing, 'Lolly Lolly Lolly Get Your Adverbs Here'"
Spokespersons from the COFFG deny the veracity of this latest Gekko sighting, but they have proven themselves to be shady characters, with a history of dangling participles, improper pronoun references and other such linguistic abominations. Former COFFG member H. Klum states, "Some of them have even been known to omit proper capitalization and punctuation. I used to try to keep them in line, but it was akin to herding cats."
Gekkosan's roommate is rumored to be the only TRUE celebrity lizard making the news at present, Charlie Sheen.
When reached for a comment, Sheen's publicist would only say, "I've just about had it with him and his Schoolhouse Rock songs. If he keeps it up, he'll soon be missing more than his tail." When asked if this was yet another threat against Gekkosan's life, he would only comment, "We have been in touch with Mr. K. ........'nuff said."
Meanwhile, in a smoke filled room in the back of the Ritz Spangliton Hotel, master detective Joe Nosey secretly meets with ‘The SD Group’.
The dangerous and deadly, dandy dude from downunder, Dr. Dag Death, is holding the meeting. "What do they think they are doing to us by using such words as ‘subjunctive following a reflexive adverbial clause in the pluscuanperfect when "estar" appears to be in the imperfect’; who does he think he is?"
"We need to get Col. Klum in on this, she can straighten it out", offers Mr. Nosey, "but she is on vacation again - diving."
"I’m getting tired of hearing it: ‘his geckoness, his geckoness’," says Dr. Death. "I’m tired to death of his geckier than thou attitude."
At that moment the door opens and Nickel-Dollar, the boss of the Philadelphia underworld, enters. "I’ve heard everything," she says, "our only hope is to get Dr. P. Lee involved. She knows how to put DO and IO pronouns in their places. She even knows about adverbs," glancing at Joe.
"No," says Dr. Death, "Is nothing sacred around here anymore? We are sticking with Mr. K., he started this and he will finish it."
"I wish you wouldn’t smoke that thing in here, Joe," says Dr. Death, "I’m about to gag. Is that even tobacco?"
Breaking news dit dit dit dah dah dah dit dit dit Breaking news This is Alfred E. Neuman reporting for SDTV station 12. We have discovered the location of the elusive Dr. P. Lee, PHD and are trying to interview him. He is a psychiatric professor at the School of Hard Knocks. He is very uncooperative with me and does not want to speak to me on the record. Off the record he has mentioned that many years ago Mr. K was a patient of his and because of patient-doctor privileges he can say no more. He did mumble something about "the elevator did not go to the top floor". Then he said that we should refer all questions to his lawyer, Mr. Our Jason. So that is all we have to report for now. More film at 11:00. Good day.
Epale - me quedo sin habla...me quedo sin aliento...me quedo sin uñas porque me las he comido.
Pero he de decir que ya empiezo a tener mis dudas... ¿Y la cola suelta, en el suelo sin cuerpo? ¿Y el Sr. K? ¿Y qué tienen que ver los adverbios?
Para mí, el flujo del tiempo y la teoría de hilo (con sus varias dimensiones) estarán entrelalados con este atentado.
Me quedo pendiente...
One of Mr. K's agents were apprehended today. With a little persuasion, authorities may yet learn of Mr. K's whereabouts.
Uno de los agentes de Sr. K fueron detenidos hoy en día. Con un poco de persuasión, las autoridades aún pueden aprender sobre el paradero del Sr. K.
En una historia, sin relación, oficials de aduanas en Australia ha detenido una mujer a el Aeropuerto Kingsford Smith. La mujer fue aparentemente hablarando en lenguas desconocidas. Oficiales no podrian hacer sentido de "jerigonaza" de la mujer pero un portavoz del aeropuerto dicho la lengua se parecido "vagamente" la lengua española. La mujer tiene solamente una marca de identificación - un tatuaje pequeña. Las investigaciones continúan....
In a story, apparently unrelated, customs officials in Australia have detained a woman at Kingsford Smith Airport. The woman was apparently "speaking in tongues". Officials were not able to make sense of the woman's "jibberish" but a spokesperson for the airport said the langague "vaguely" resembled Spanish. The woman has only one identifying mark - a small tattoo. Investigations are continuing...
Mr. K. Actus issues a warning to any vigilantes who might attempt to hunt down his beloved God child; the feline, Mr.K., "Our security is impenetrable. You will be entering a very prickly situation."
Holy crud, this is too funny and creative!! 
Thank you for your diligence in writing so well and especially with translating the text into Spanish!! 
Well, I can't find out what happened to Gekko, but in a story that may or may not be related, this gekko was found trying to disguise itself by growing a new tail that was a different color that the rest of his body. Could this possibly be our Gekko?
Oh, no. I have been out of the loop. Has something happened to our Gekko? Is he OK:???
If you want to find him, Look up. They are always climbing up. (or look in your cup before you pour your drink,,,_
