looking for some comfort... or other miserable users

Question

I know. I should be happy - TGIF! And two weeks' holiday, no work, just me, my family and Spanish. And yet, I'm in a lousy mood this evening. I've had words with my husbie (nothing serious, but unpleasant anyway), we're having some tough days (weeks? months? years???) with our son, who's trying to be the boss and is being most desobedient - slamming the door, spilling the dog's water on the floor, peeing around, opening cupboards, he even learnt how to open all the blocades... and a lot more. The weather, though really picturesque with all that snow, is a bit of a problem, because my low blood pressure makes me get cold easier than other people - even now my hands are so cold, and I'm wearing three jumpers. I've put on weight a bit and can't find the motivation nor the time to shed a few kilos.

I've been wondering, are there any other miserable people here today, or am I a loner? I'll let you translate this text to Spanish - I wouldn't dare, because I realise I would have to spend my whole holiday in the dunce corner!

Answer 1

Isabela, I am a psychology major, with a minor is Spanish (although I've just begun that journey). I can tell you that this time of the year can bring aobut depression in many people. Some feel inadequate because they cannot provide the fabulous Christmas that the media portrays. Others feel blue becuase they see another year ending without reaching the many goals they set at the beginning of the year. Whatever your case may be, rest assured that it is temporary, and that you are not alone. Take an hour to regain your focus. Find a quiet corner (with the help of a sitter or your husband), think of all that you have and what you have to look forward to. Let go of any unreasonable expectations you may have of yourself and realize that life as it is, is temporary. Your son will find the potty, he'll learn that there's nothing of interest in the cupboards anymore, you will kiss and make up with your husband, and life will go on with new adventures. Cheer up, Sister! You are a friend to many, as I've already seen on this site. You have a lot to offer the world and are doing a great job! Smile at yourself in the mirror...and imagine smiling at someone you love (or just admire). Believe it or not, it will help!

¡Paz!

• Thank you, Gadjetman! - Issabela Dec 18, 2009
• What a nice response. - --Mariana-- Dec 18, 2009
• Good man, Gadjet man. I even feel better. And your baby face is beautiful. - nizhoni1 Dec 18, 2009
• Well said! - JulianChivi Dec 18, 2009
• You rock, gadjetman!!! I wish you were my neighbor! As for you, Isabella, hang in there, ur not alone! It's seasonal affective disordwer (SAD) and "this too shall pass" - garytruckey Dec 18, 2009
View 1 more commments >>

Answer 2

Ho Ho Ho! It's a well documented fact that suicide rates escalate during the holidays and that depression worsens.

So tie the kid up, send your hubbie to visit his mother, (he'll appreciate you more when he returns), crank up the heat (global warming, huh) and read some of these Spanish Christmas stories. I find them uplifting. Start with El Árbol de Navidad. If that doesn't lift your spirits then you're either Scrooge or the Grinch. If that doesn't work read La Niña de los fosforos. It may break your heart, but the antics of your little one won't concern you any longer.

Christmas Stories

• :) - Heidita Dec 18, 2009
• La Niña de los fosforos - is for me the saddest story ever written. I read it first in Danish and cried my eyes out. - ian-hill Dec 21, 2009
• Quentin - thanks for the great link. - ian-hill Dec 21, 2009
• "La Niña de los fosforos" = "Den Lille Pige med Svovlstikkerne" in Danish - ian-hill Dec 21, 2009

Answer 3

It's probably the prospect of the two weeks holiday that's the problem!

We have four days holiday over Christmas - and that only because it falls on a Friday this year, so there is an extra bank holiday tacked on at the end to make up for Boxing Day being a Saturday.

That four days will be the longest break we have had together in 12 years - and I just know that by the beginning of day 3 we will be eyeing up the carving knives and wondering whether we can fit bodies under the floorboards. We work well together, but we have a very low boredom threshold when it comes to relaxing together!

Your lovely little boy will grow through this phase - honestly. I remember getting really upset over toilet training my two year old daughter and thinking she'd never get the hang of it, but now she's eighteen, she seems to have grasped it, and she's even nice to me most of the time!

• omg....jejejejjeje, so she finally got it eh?? lol - Heidita Dec 18, 2009
• she's nice to you at 18. you're lucky jeje - Valerie Dec 19, 2009

Answer 4

The cold winter days are depressing, but Springtime will come around again....I promise.

I'm glad you posted so that we can tell you how much we wish you happiness.

Answer 5

I am very sorry to hear this although I'm in high school so I wouldn't know too much about the problems you are facing. A little suggestion is to try to ask your husband to do more around the house and make mends with him (I know, kind of contradictory), in order to find the time to exercise. This could also help cheer you up, as exersize can be something to cheer you up. Learning a new skill could also be helpful.

Hope this helps (even with the contradiction in there). Try making mends with your husband first though. Nate12332

Answer 6

I remember getting really upset over toilet training my two year old daughter and thinking she'd never get the hang of it, but now she's eighteen, she seems to have grasped it, and she's even nice to me most of the time!

Oh well, then you gave me something to look forward to, jejeje A glimpse of hope, so to say!

Answer 7

Hi Issabela,

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so overwhelmed right now. I wanted to answer last night when I first read this, but my own little two-year old human tornado was busy (or keeping me busy at any rate) wreaking his own havoc in our house, so I was in damage control mode at the time (Yes - isn't potty training a blast ).

It's funny how many problems in life appear as mountains before us, but when we look back on them through the lens of time, we see that that mountain was really only the size of a large stone....just large enough for us to step up on and move to higher ground. I know that you can overcome this obstacle and be better for it in the end. Husbands and wives quarrel, children will err and with winter comes the cold, but trust in love and remember that these states are all transitory. For all the bad times in life, there are just as many shining moments to make it all worth while. Husbands and wives make amends and grow stronger for it, children eventually find the toilet and spring eventually returns trumpeting the demise of winter. Just hang in there girl and realize that these times will pass. And never forget that if you ever need to talk, you have at least a dozen willing sets of ears right here ready to listen. So cozy up under those blankets keep yourself warm. I wish you all the best

Ira

Answer 8

because my low blood pressure makes me get cold easier than other people - even now my hands are so cold, and I'm wearing three jumpers.

¡¡¡Ya está!!! Lo sabía.......

somos hermanas

Yo me siento como un osito de peluche, hasta me he comprado estos patucos o como se llamen, ya que siempre tengo los pies helados!!

Espero que te hayas reído un poco querida amiga.

Y si no, te voy a visitar ya mismo...esta soy yo

• Jejejeje, ¡esta es mi chica! Gracias por hacerme reír :)) - Issabela Dec 18, 2009

Answer 9

And jsut in case you want to have a good laugh and see how some guys got to send themselves into the dunce corner:

Pimiento morrón

Actually a simple question....but then it started to get confusing, I had to post twice, as nobody was listening to me!!

Should I say : as ususal?? hmmmmm

by the way issa, this is also me

• I would say, "As per usual" :lol: that is a favorite phrase of mine - cheeseisyumm Dec 18, 2009
• You better dive for some Christmas carp (this is the fish we have for Chrtismas Eve in Poland) - Issabela Dec 19, 2009
• It's a good thing that dunce cap is large enough to cover my big block head or everyone would be able to see me blushing right now. - Izanoni1 Dec 19, 2009

Answer 10

When I lived in Maine I always took a hot soaking bath in the winter to warm me to the core. Here in New Mexico there are hot springs about 5 minutes away by car.The one called The Lobster Pot is 120 degrees at the bottom. I can stand in it and have my face on the surface. Talk about warmed to the core.But it helps so much sometimes I am there in the dark and below freezing temperatures taking off flannel jeans to get in those waters.But staying warm makes such a difference.

Kiss your sweet bad baby for me.

I forgot to say thanks so much for the link to the audio books.And carrying on the threads you do everyday.

• I've been trying to put him to bed for an hour now, but I still hope to succeed ;)) - Issabela Dec 19, 2009

Answer 11

Oh, Isabela, sometimes life is just plain hard!!

Three things that always helped me when a child was screaming and my husband was clueless that I was losing my mind...

1. A combination of the Spanish saying "camaron que se duerme se lo lleva la corriente" and the English saying: "A rolling stone gathers no moss":... A rolling shrimp gathers no seaweed...(that's actually turned into a family joke)

2. An ancient Persian saying: I was crying because I had no shoes, but then I saw a man with no feet.

3. The Chinese concept for the English word "crisis" is really two characters. The first character means "danger" and the second one means "opportunity".

I am aware that this is a very strange combination of disparate thoughts, but I share them with you because they lightened my emotional load when my well was pretty darn dry...maybe one of them will be meaningful to you!

Hang in there, sister!

• I like the part about the Chinese meaning of "crisis". - Issabela Dec 19, 2009

Answer 12

Oh sweet Issabela!!

Today was one of the few up days that I have had over the last few weeks. It is cold and snowy here too many days. I have clinical depression and even have to take medications. By no means am I recommending medications for you, but I just wanted you to know that I completely understand where you are right now.
When I get hit hard with life, I like to think of the yin/yang. You cannot have good with out the bad just as you cannot have bad without the good. It comforts me

Muchos abrazos

Amber

• Amber; I know what it's like with clinical depression. You too, rock!!! My motto is, "You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness." That's what ur doin' and I salute you. - garytruckey Dec 18, 2009

Answer 13

Issabela, I've just caught up with your post

What an amazing world. Most of you guys are chilled to the bone. Here..for the last three days we've had a heat-wave Wednesday - 40degrees, Thursday 42 degrees and Friday not much better. When you're outside it's like being in a blast-furnace. It's now Saturday evening and our world here has cooled down just a tad. And ....I hate the hot weather with a vengence. I would give my right kidney to have a cold, perhaps snowy Christmas......

However, all that aside - I know one thing Issabella - you are the most amazing funny-picture-finder in the whole world, and, even though I don't always comment - your pictures always make me laugh...keep up the good work.

Annie.

• Thank you, Annie :)) I'll run straightaway to find another interesting photo! - Issabela Dec 19, 2009

Answer 14

Keep the faith! You are not alone! Remember...

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~ Erma Bombeck

Answer 15

I am a teacher and have two weeks off of work as well... a perfect time to potty train my just-turned-three year old boy. He has a daddy and 4 year old brother to show him how to do it. He holds it really well... until he decides to let it all loose in his underwear. He just peed on the carpet a few minutes ago! Sometimes when I am entirely frustrated with the boys, and it happens often, I try to step out of my view point and look at what is happening. It can send me into a good laugh.

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I also want to suggest the small book Diaper Diaries - The Real Poop On A New Mom's First Year by Cynthia L. Copeland. I picked it up in Target last year and my husband found me laughing so hard at each page he bought it for me. It makes me laugh at all the stuff I have gone through in this area and reminded me how funny it was - even though at the time I didn't think it was funny.