Try to find out what this means: Yo Leonor, part two
Ok, here is part two, if you think you want to participate, please read part one first, this is only for fairly andvanced students. Very difficult to understand.
One hint right from the start: Trini.Trinidad Jimenes, make a search and see what she is famous for.
Ha venido mi madre, taconeando subida a los «peep toes» de marca, y me ha dado una colleja suave, porque con esos hombros tampoco estamos hablando del golpe de un descargador de muelles, pero he llorado un rato y me he quedado tan pancha. Las muñecas son muy feas, y aunque le hacen justicia a mi hermana la animal, no creo que conmigo hayan acertado. Para empezar, la cara de reposeída no es la mía, como todo el mundo sabe. Yo tengo gesto de zalamera, de buenecica que las mata callando, de bicho con mechón de gremlin, pero no de diabla. Luego, me han puesto unos tobillos, gordos, gordísimos, que son dos columnas romanas. Es que da la sensación de que retengo líquidos y por el amor de Dios, que tengo cuatro años. Los he cumplido casi al mismo tiempo que la abuela, que también es noticia, porque después de setenta y un tacos, la ha felicitado el abuelo. Hay gente que se toma su tiempo para todo, y en este caso, el tiempo es el de las películas japonesas: interminable. Qué asco de vida. Y encima, ni siquiera podré fumar en mi comunión. Trini, guapa. Andaquetutambien.
21 Answers
Okay, revision number three!
My mother has come, designer "peep toes" clicking on the way up, and she's given me a slap. With those shoulders of hers we're hardly talking a beefy docker's blow, yet I've wept a little and kept myself quite calm.
The dolls are truly hideous, and although they do justice to my brute sister, I hardly think they got it right with me. First of all, the repossessed face isn't my own, as everyone knows. Mine is a deceptively innocent visage: a mite with gremlin-locks, perhaps, but not a demoness. Next, they've given me really fat ankles: they're Roman columns. It gives the impression that I withhold fluids, and - for the love of God - I'm four years old.
I'd completed them almost at almost the same time my grandma, also in the news because after seventy-one years, had been congratulated by my granddad.
There are people who take their time in everything, and in this case, it's Japanese movie-time: endless. What a life. To top it off, I couldn't even smoke at my communion. Trini - smart. Same-goes-to-you-too.
So the mother's slap doesn't sting so bad because of her feeble shoulders, right? They're hardly those of a dock worker! I didn't understand that part before.
"Buenecica que las mata callando" seems to be roughly "a good little thing that clandestinely gets its way" (based on the idiomatic use of "mátalas callando"); I read in another forum that it's actually "seems to be the kind of person that never does anything bad, but isn't". Izanoni1 was quite right!
Still don't really get the last bit, but I'll get there…
Edited
My mother has arrived, clicking (alluding to the sound she makes while walking in her high fashion shows), raised high in her fashionable (stunning, phenomenal) peep toed shoes, and has given me a gentle slap to the back of my head, because with those shoulders we are never talking about the slap of a dockworker, but I have cried terribly and I haven’t batted an eyelash (and have remained so calm).
The dolls are very ugly, and even though they do justice to my beastly sister (my sister the beast), I don’t think that with me they have hit the mark. For starters, the repossessed face is not mine (does not fit me), as everyone knows. I have a most beautiful, flattering face that hides a beast (appears sweet but is really nasty), like a little bug, with streaks of gremlin-like impishness, but not evil/devilish.
Then, they have given me the fattest, fat ankles that are (like) two Roman columns. The fact of the matter is it gives the impression that I am retaining water and for the love of God, I am (only) 4 years old.
I have achieved them (fat ankles) at almost the same time that my grandmother has which is also news because after 71 years (birthdays), my grandfather has (finally) honored (congratulated) her (sarcastically, poking at the relationship between her grandparents – it only took 71 years for my grandfather to notice her. i.e. She feels as old and unappreciated as her grandmother). There are some people who take their time with everything, and in this case, the time is like a Japanese movie: It took for ever.
How disgusting life is. And on top of that, (it’s) not even cool to smoke at my communion. Trini, love (Trinidad Jimenez – Spain’s health minister who banned proposed a smoking ban in all public places). Look who’s talking now.
Qué asco de vida. Y encima, ni siquiera podré fumar en mi comunión. Trini, guapa. Andaquetutambien.
Life sucks. And on top of that, I can't even smoke in my communion. Beautiful Trini, you're my idol.
this was said by Goyo, and I loved it...it was not exactly to the point ...but if you had understood and taken it sarcastically, Greg, this was quite right..
First part is perfect...Life sucks etc. wonderful until we get to ´trini, guapa"
I would have preferred:
Trini, love or gorgeous, as Eddy would have said
Trini, love. You are my idol. ...I said I loved it as I could have said that sarcastically.
guapa here is very sarcastic, not at all refering to her being nice. Quite the opposite.
She means:
Trini , you idiot. I mean...look what you have done!!!
You got confused with the:
anda que tú!! This means: Look who is talking!
But anda que tú también....means: but how can you say such a thing? How can you do such a stupid thing? but what made you say/do/think that??
It is a very colloquial phrase and you need context to get the right translation, it can mean something different each time.
Omg!! And I almost missed this 
:
Okay, revision number three!
Limes, how could you do that to me!! I never saw that!! And you got the grandmother having her birthday at the same time as Leonor and all and the Queen being in the news...well, I say....
great except for the end.
Izan, Phil, Goyo and Limes, wonderful job, I am really stunned at how well you did on this, so difficult.
I am choosing Limes this time, I think his wording is awesome.
Ia m bolding the parts which still are not good enough
Phil, ¿y tú? Te has rendido? Limes, ¿dónde te has metido?
My last attempt
My mother has come clicking up in her designer (fashionable) peep toed shoes, and has given me a gentle slap to the back of my head, because with those shoulders we are never talking about the slap of a dockworker, but I have cried terribly and I haven’t batted an eyelash (and have remained so calm).
The dolls are very ugly, and even though they do justice to my sister the beast, I don’t think that they have done right by me. For starters, the repossessed face is not mine (does not fit me), as everyone knows. I have a nice, smooth appearance that hides a beast (appears sweet but is really nasty), like a little bug, with streaks of gremlin-like impishness, but not evil/devilish.
Then, they have given me the fattest, fat ankles that are (like) two Roman columns. The fact of the matter is it gives the impression that I am retaining water and for the love of God, I am (only) 4 years old. I have achieved them (fat ankles) at almost the same time that my grandmother has which is also news because after 71 years, my grandfather has (finally) honored her (sarcastically, poking at the relationship between her grandparents – it only took 71 years for my grandfather to notice her). There are some people who take their time with everything, and in this case, the time is like a Japanese movie: It took for ever.
How disgusting life is. And on top of that, (it’s) not even cool to smoke at my communion. Trini, love . Look who’s talking now (look who else is talking).
My mother has come clicking up in her designer peep toed shoes, and has given me a gentle slap to the back of my head, because with those shoulders we can't really compare that to a slap by a dockworker, but I have cried terribly and then I was ok.
The dolls are very ugly, and even though they do justice to my sister the cow, I don’t think that they have done right by me. For starters, the repossessed face is not mine , as everyone knows. I have a nice, smooth appearance that hides a beast , like a little bug, with streaks of gremlin-like impishness, but not evil/devilish.
Then, they have given me the fattest, fat ankles that are (like) two Roman columns. The fact of the matter is it gives the impression that I am retaining water and for the love of God, I am (only) 4 years old**. I have had my birthday almost at the same time** as grandma, who is in the nesws too because after 71 years, my grandfather has (finally) congratulated her in public (sarcastically, poking at the relationship between her grandparents – it only took 71 years for my grandfather to notice her----yes!!) . There are some people who take their time with everything, and in this case, the time is like a Japanese movie: It took for ever.
How disgusting life is. And on top of that, (it’s) not even cool to smoke at my communion. Trini, love . Look after yourself.
Ok, as nobody really got this let me explain in a new post
Trini, guapa. Andaquetutambien.
Beautiful Trini, you're my idol.
Now, explain why you said that...and what exaclty does it refer too?
I don't know how I got it! I think I just guessed. Anda was in the wrong tense for it, but I decided she was saying she wanted to walk like Trini. 
I may have gotten some clues from Google.
Los he cumplido casi al mismo tiempo que la abuela, que también es noticia, porque después de setenta y un tacos, la ha felicitado el abuelo.
This all happened about the same time that my grandmother, and this is also news, took my grandfather back- after 71 years!
Anyway, I will definitely try the next time (or else you can banish me from the site LOL)
I am seriously thinking about that.....
Heidi, When you posted Leonor part one, I promised myself that I would take part in your next challenge. Well unfortunately, I have not been feeling well for the past couple of days and don't feel up to the challenge today. I think the medicine is making me foggy.
Anyway, I will definitely try the next time (or else you can banish me from the site )
I am curious though about something. Where do you find these and what makes them so difficult? Are these writings that people who are fluent in Spanish would find challenging as well?
I was just wondering. Sorry If you have already answered these questions. And you have my word on the next one. No matter how bad I do...I will try!!
I had my 4th birthday (party) at about the same time as grandma had hers which is also news because after 71 years grandpa has finally decided to throw her a birthday party
Getting there..Izan, enhorabuena...un poco más de trabajo y casi casi.....
LO que está en negrita está aún mal.
*Tough stuff! This makes no sense but here it is: *
My mother came to me, clicking the heels of her brand-name pumps, and gave me a smooth bop on the head. Because with those shoulders, we're talking about the slap of a dockworker. I cried a bit and then I was fine. The dolls are grotesque, and although that's fitting for my sister, the cow, but I don't think it's right in my case.
In the first place, everyone knows that I don't have the guts to change it back.
I have a face that can flatter, than can seem deceptively innocent, mischievous with a touch of naughtiness thrown in, but not too evil.
Then I have two big, fat ankles, like two Roman columns.
It makes it seem like I retain a lot of water. For Pete's sake, I'm only four years old!
This all happened about the same time that my grandmother, and this is also news, celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary.
Hay gente que se toma su tiempo para todo, y en este caso, el tiempo es el de las películas japonesas: interminable.
There are people who take their time in everything. And in this case, time is like in Japanese movies: unending.
Life sucks. And on top of that, I can't even smoke in my communion. Beautiful Trini, you're my idol.
que tengo cuatro años. Los he cumplido casi al mismo tiempo que la abuela,
Now...what is she talking about when she is saying los he cumplido??
I think that she might be saying:
I had my 4th birthday (party) at about the same time as grandma had hers which is also news because after 71 years grandpa has finally decided to throw her a birthday party.
Andaquetutambien.
Trini, love. That means even you, too (can't smoke because of the smoking ban in public places that she - Trini - has leveled).
I was told by Goyo only the other day that he has only been studying Spanish for a year. Probably the same time Phil and Izan have....
well, to get into a thread like this one...that takes some guts, and to do it that well...I am in awe
Goyo, good job, though some things are still wrong.
*Tough stuff! *
jeje, tell me about it.....
My mother came to me, clicking the heels of her brand-name pumps,
This is exac tly it, of course, designer pumbs is very similar chosen by Izan and limes.
I cried a bit and then I was fine. Nobody hass got this quite right yet.
The dolls are grotesque, and although that's fitting for my sister, the cow, but I don't think it's right in my case.
Great. !! This is not referring to her being a beast, but that she is fat.
I have a face that can flatter, than can seem deceptively innocent, mischievous with a touch of naughtiness thrown in, but not too evil.
this togther with the following by Limes
"Buenecica que las mata callando" seems to be roughly "a good little thing that clandestinely gets its way" (based on the idiomatic use of "mátalas callando");
or this by Izan
I have a most beautiful, flattering face that hides a beast (appears sweet but is really nasty),
Is simply perfect
This all happened about the same time that my grandmother, and this is also news, celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary.
Nobody has got this right yet.
Life sucks. And on top of that, I can't even smoke in my communion.
Hmm, this has to be future tense...but I am taking it, Izan, yours was good too, cool
So the mother's slap doesn't sting so bad because of her feeble shoulders, right? They're hardly those of a dock worker! I didn't understand that part before.
Good job finding that out, Limes, well done
Buuuuuuuuuut, nobody is getting the grandmother part...that still needs some work.-
Hint: que tengo cuatro años. Los he cumplido casi al mismo tiempo que la abuela,
Now...what is she talking about when she is saying los he cumplido??
Ok, and this is sooooooooooo very close...I mean, Greg, I am stunned!! 
Beautiful Trini, you're my idol.
Now, explain why you said that...and what exaclty does it refer too?
Trini, guapa. Andaquetutambien.
I am waiting for you to get closer to the gradmother's bit, let's see who can get there...
:::tapping floor:::::
My last attempt edited
My mother has come clicking up in her designer (fashionable) peep toed shoes, and has given me a gentle slap to the back of my head, because with those shoulders we are never talking about the slap of a dockworker, but I have cried terribly and I haven’t batted an eyelash.
The dolls are very ugly, and even though they do justice to my sister the beast, I don’t think that they have done right by me. For starters, the repossessed face is not mine (does not fit me), as everyone knows. I have a nice, smooth appearance that hides a beast (appears sweet but is really nasty), like a little bug, with streaks of gremlin-like impishness, but not evil/devilish.
Then, they have given me the fattest, fat ankles that are (like) two Roman columns. The fact of the matter is it gives the impression that I am retaining water and for the love of God, I am (only) 4 years old. I have gotten them at almost the same time as grandma, which is news, as well because after 71 years, my grandfather has (finally) honored her (sarcastically, poking at the relationship between her grandparents – it only took 71 years for my grandfather to notice her). There are some people who take their time with everything, and in this case, the time is like a Japanese movie: It took for ever.
How disgusting life is. And on top of that, (it’s) not even cool to smoke at my communion. Trini, love . Look after yourself.
Los he cumplido casi al mismo tiempo que la abuela, que también es noticia, porque...
I have gotten them at almost the same time as grandma, which is news, as well because...
Andaquetutambien.
Look after yourself, as well
My mother has arrived, clicking (alluding to the sound she makes while walking in her high fashion shows), raised high in her fashionable (stunning, phenomenal) peep toed shoes, and has given me a gentle slap to the back of my head, because with those shoulders we are never talking about the slap of a dockworker, but I have cried terribly and I haven’t batted an eyelash (and have remained so calm).
The dolls are very ugly, and even though they do justice to my beastly sister, I don’t think that with me they have hit the mark. For starters, the repossessed face is not mine (does not fit me), as everyone knows. I have a most beautiful, flattering face that hides a beast (appears sweet but is really nasty), like a little bug, with streaks of gremlin-like impishness, but not evil/devilish.
Then, they have given me the fattest, fat ankles that are (like) two Roman columns. The fact of the matter is it gives the impression that I am retaining water and for the love of God, I am (only) 4 years old. I have achieved them (fat ankles) at almost the same time that my grandmother has which is also news because after 71 years, my grandfather has (finally) honored her (sarcastically, poking at the relationship between her grandparents – it only took 71 years for my grandfather to notice her). There are some people who take their time with everything, and in this case, the time is like a Japanese movie: It took for ever.
How disgusting life is. And on top of that, (it’s) not even cool to smoke at my communion. Trini, love . Look who’s talking now.
