Try to find out what this means: De un tiempo a esta parte me da vergüenza...
Ok, next try, I think this is rather challenging, this woman is hilarious, just think she is always ironical and sarcastic....so take if from there
De un tiempo a esta parte, me da vergüenza mirarme en las fotos. Que no es que haya sido yo nunca muy fotogénica que se diga, porque a mí me salen los ojos redondos de tísica y todo lo demás es síntoma de obesidad, pero es que últimamente me doy hasta pena. Se me están remarcando los papos, tipo boxer, y la papadilla aparece así mire al cielo en plan espectadora en una exhibición de Cuatro Vientos. Eso por no hablar de las arrugas encima del labio superior que es, mismamente, una faldita tableada.
20 Answers
De un tiempo a esta parte, me da vergüenza mirarme en las fotos. Que no es que haya sido yo nunca muy fotogénica que se diga, porque a mí me salen los ojos redondos de tísica y todo lo demás es síntoma de obesidad, pero es que últimamente me doy hasta pena. Se me están remarcando los papos, tipo boxer, y la papadilla aparece así mire al cielo en plan espectadora en una exhibición de Cuatro Vientos. Eso por no hablar de las arrugas encima del labio superior que es, mismamente, una faldita tableada.
I used to be ashamed to look at photos of myself. It's not that I have ever been very photogenic so to speak, because to me, my consumptive (sick?) round eyes jump out at me and the rest of me is a symptom of obesity (I feel like I am fat), but lately I've been depressed (given up hope). This is underlined by my boxer-like (the dog?) jowels and my double chin that flap around in the breeze like clouds in the sky on a windy day (or that flap in the breeze when I look at the sky). Not to mention the wrinkles above my lip which is, itself is, (like) a pleated skirt
Bueno, Izan, esta última respuesta llegó un poco tarde pero es la más perfecta. Genial como has pillado lo de la parte de la papada...jeje, esta mujer está loca. En realidad es bastante guapa, bueno, guapa lo que es guapa....
Esta es María José
Pongo la foto porque pienso poner más frases o párrafos suyos si os gusta
I have finally chosen this answer, it was the closest in my opinion.
The así que...part being a conjunction here was so difficult that it completely threw you off. Very good attempts, Izan, chaparrita and Phil.
Lately I have been ashamed to look at photos of myself. It's not that I have ever been very photogenic so to speak, because ---my consumptive round eyes jump out at me and the rest of me is a symptom of obesity , but lately I've been depressed (given up hope)/ I have been feeling sorry for myself. My boxer-like jowels show more and more and my double chin shows even though I lift my head right up into the sky like a spectator looking at the sky at an exibition at Four Winds. And that’s not even mentioning the wrinkles above the upper lip giving it a pleated skirt effect.*
I have taken part of Phil's translation, too. And your last sentence, chaparrita, was simply perfect,
Great challenge, I am happy I have found people who like challenges, this woman is very difficult to understand even for natives, her figurative speech is sometimes just so figurative...impossible
and the four winds...funny,
Well, I'm a little slow. But here's what I would say.
I am regularly embarrassed at seeing myself in photos. It’s not that I was ever, as they say, photogenic, because I think my bulging tubercular eyes look awful and everything else appears to be a symptom of obesity, but it’s just that lately it even pains me. I am accentuated by my plump boxer-like jowls, and looking at my flabby double chin will make you think you have a front row seat at a Madrid-Cuatro Vientos air show. And that’s not even mentioning the wrinkles above the upper lip giving it a pleated skirt effect.
This was a fun challenge! I was trying to translate the expressions in a way that would sound familiar to a native English speaking reader. But that 'la papadilla' line was a bit awkward for me to truly understand. 
I have resisted the urge to look over the answers already given, but now I'm going to read through them and see where I went wrong. 
Thanks Heidita!
Lately I have started to feel ashamed to look at myself in photos. I have never been very, as they say, photogenic. My eyes bulge from tuberculosis and anything else is a symptom of obesity. But now I am starting to pity myself. My jowls are heavy (very boxer dog) and my double chin can be seen even when I throw my back head to view the sky at an air show at Cuatro Vientos. Not to mention the wrinkles around my upper lip, which itself resembles a pleated skirt.
Pongo la foto porque pienso poner más frases o párrafos suyos si os gusta.
A mí, si.
¡Gracias Heidita por poner un ejercicio tan instructivo y entretenido a la vez! 
(y, nada más para que sepas, es chaparritO. 
)
Thanks Heidita,
These little exercises are mentally exhausting but fun at the same time
¡Vale! Heidita, this dramatic pause has gotten our rapt attention! Are you still waiting for more guesses? 
I'm dying to find out what we're missing.
Even though you already checked my answer, here is another attempt since you haven't posted the correct answer yet:
I used to be ashamed to look at photos of myself. It's not that I have ever been very photogenic so to speak, because to me, my consumptive (sick?) round eyes jump out at me and the rest of me is a symptom of obesity (I feel like I am fat), but lately I've been depressed (given up hope). I am forever marked by my boxer-like jowls and my double chin that appears even if, I look to (gawk at) the sky like a spectator at a plane show (at an exhibition at Cuatro Vientos). Not to mention the wrinkles above my lip which is, itself, (like) a pleated skirt
I'm exhausted after this. I think I will wait for the answer now. My attempts seem to be going downhill.
For a while now, I've been ashamed to look at pictures of myself. It's not to say that I've ever been photogenic, because of the round eyes and all the symtoms of obesity, but lately I've quit trying. My jawline is highlighted like some kind of boxer and the meaty part under my chin waves like a spectator looking at the sky at an exibition at Four Winds. Not to mention the wrinkles on my top lip look like a pleated skirt.
Hmmm, I am still not giving up on you guys
Hint: look at the definintion of así, here. Look at the conjunction part
I think this is hinting a lot...
que se diga, porque a mí me salen los ojos redondos de tísica y todo lo demás es síntoma de obesidad, pero es que últimamente me doy hasta pena.
You might say it's my round tuburculoid eyes and all the other signs of obesity, but really it's because I give until it hurts.
The first part
I used to be ashamed to look at photos of myself. It's not that I have ever been very photogenic so to speak, because to me, my consumptive (sick?) round eyes jump out at me and the rest of me is a symptom of obesity (I feel like I am fat), but lately I've been depressed (given up hope).
The second part
Se me están remarcando los papos, tipo boxer, y la papadilla aparece así mire al cielo en plan espectadora en una exhibición de Cuatro Vientos.
(looking at) my boxer-like jowels and double chin is like being a spectator at an airshow and watching the jumbo airliners (comparing herself unfavorably to one of those large old planes that are kept at Cuatro Vientos). Not to mention the wrinkles above my lip which is, itself is, (like) a pleated skirt
Gotta go pick up the kiddos
For a while now, I've been ashamed to look at pictures of myself. It's not to say that I've ever been photogenic, you might say it's my round tuburculoid eyes and all the other signs of obesity, but really it's because I give until it hurts. My jawline is highlighted like some kind of boxer and the meaty part under my chin waves like a spectator looking at the sky at an exibition at Four Winds. Not to mention the wrinkles on my top lip look like a pleated skirt.
