...better known as Sting, he has released a new record. We don't miss that he hasn't put the boys on the cover because, aparently, Halleyluya, they are not the same versions that he always had. This, which is a thing of happiness and he recruits two alter boys that play some large bells, it comes below immediately because the gentleman threatens with melodies of winter, of those with the harp....

?????????????????????

I agree with Marianne.

I would have said that it was about an album with no covers of old songs, thank God, and to listen to it with two loyal friends under whose protection you will be safe from the menacing music.

...better known as Sting, he released a new album. No need to put children on the cover or anything, because apparently, hallelujah, it's not the same version of himself as always. The latter, which is great, has two altar boys who play huge bells, breaks down right away because the gentleman hints at winter melodies, the kind with a harp ...

I really know what it is. I am just trying, unsuccessfully, to get to the dunce corner.

Second attempt

...better known as Sting, he has released a new album. No need to hide your children or anything, because apparently, hallelujah, they are not just different versions of the same songs like always (rehashed ideas). This album, which is an absolute joy and would be suitable for anyone, gets down (in a good way) right away as the gentleman/hero/knight/cowboy/??? threatens with winter melodies, the kind with the harp....

The last part seems to be tricky. Nobody has got it yet.

Let's see if there are more takers...I will chose the nearest this night.

Hint: the altar boys have nothing to do with the record

Good catch on the "poner los niños a cubierto"..wonderful

I'm ready for the answer.

Since the first part has already been translated i'll give a shot on the second part

Éste, que es un dato para la alegría y para contratar a dos monaguillos que toquen unas campanas muy gordas, se viene abajo enseguida porque el caballero amenaza con melodías de invierno, de esas con arpa...

This one, that is an opportunity to be happy and to contradict some big words (maybe gossip or something) comes down very soon because the gentleman threats with winter melodies, from those with an harp...

Éste, que es un dato para la alegría y para contratar a dos monaguillos que toquen unas campanas muy gordas, se viene abajo enseguida porque el caballero amenaza con melodías de invierno, de esas con arpa...

This one, which is a reason to be happy and to contract with two altar boys who play loud bells, immediately gets an ovation because the man threatens to play Christmas songs, the ones with harps

ok, here it goes, jeje sorry, I have chosen the best answer on the first part, but the second part was not well translated.

When something big happens in Spain, the Prince getting married for example, what do we do? The churches of the whole town play bells, the bigger the better.

So this woman who dislikes Sting, is being extremely sarcastic :

this, being a reason for happiness and (as the occasion calls for it) motivates us to contract two altar boys to play two huge bells , breaks down/comes down/ is spoilt immediately as the gentleman (sarcastic) threatens with winter melodies, those which have a harp and all in them....

These are great.

Please keep giving them to us.

I think I will write these in a notebook.