Poem #3 that I have written

Question

Hola a todos,

My third poem is not very good, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Lo que te hace gritar "no", llorar, luchar, el amor? Soy lo que te hace encontrar tu verdadera el mismo. Soy tu el héroe, soy tu creación. Soy valentía.

What makes you yell "no", cry, fight, love? I am what makes you find your true self. I am your hero, I am your creation. I am courage.

Gracias a todos!!!

Nice one , Kat - sanlee, Mar 15, 2012

Thanks, Sandy. :) - 00cdfbd9, Mar 15, 2012

Answer 1

Hi! katrj I think the previous correction is good ,but I have some disagreements .

Lo que te hace gritar "no", llorar, luchar, amar? Soy LA QUE (I would not say:soy LO QUE ,in this case you have to say:soy LA QUE you are a woman or soy EL QUE if you were a man)te hace encontrar tu verdadero YO(it`s much better than TÚ,besides you never say TÚ for meaning self). Soy tu héroe, soy tu creación. Soy valor(or coraje).

Thanks, Luis. :) - 00cdfbd9, Mar 15, 2012

You`re welcome my friend,we`re here to help each other... :) - luisssito, Mar 15, 2012

Righto, amigo. :) - 00cdfbd9, Mar 16, 2012

Answer 2

I think you are on the right track , I like it , may I give it a different slant ,

but forgive me if I step on your creative toes.

Yelling,

Crying,

Fighting,

Loving,

Allowing

the self

to emerge ,

I give to you

Heroes courage and creation,

Make of them what you will.

You can´t change poetry! :) - missy8888, Mar 15, 2012

Of course you can! :) Thanks, Ray. :) - 00cdfbd9, Mar 15, 2012

The words are arbitrary, the feelings are private and inviolate. Thank you both for your input. - ray76, Mar 15, 2012

Arbitrary... oh dear, what does that mean?? Guess I'll have to look that up! ;) - 00cdfbd9, Mar 15, 2012

Answer 3

Lo que te hace gritar "no", llorar, luchar, amar [if you want to say it as a verb, it is amar. If you want to say it as a noun, like "what makes you yell no, cry, fight...is it love?" then you would say "es el amor?" ?

Soy lo que te hace que encuentres [te hace que (verb in subjunctive tú form) means "it makes you do (insert verb here)] tu verdadera tú [your true self, as found here] . Soy tu héroe [the tu is working almost as an article here, and doesn´t need el], soy tu creación. Soy valor [I have heard this word as the best equivalent of courage in Spanish].

Thanks, Missy! You always give wonderfully detailed responses. :) - 00cdfbd9, Mar 15, 2012

Answer 4

I like it

How long have you been learning spanish?

It's pretty good

I've been learning Spanish for about 4 months. And thanks! :) - 00cdfbd9, Mar 15, 2012