Shocking Truth Revealed: Gekkosan not a lizard at all!!
Inspired by the liberating and cathartic confession by Rabbitwho, at long last Gekkosan has decided to come forth with the shocking, ugly, twisted truth:
Gekkosan is not a lizard at all!
Turns out that the very perceptive, always-right, and soon-to-be-married Heidita had been on the right track all along, and Gekkosan is some sort of toad-creature.
But that's not all: Gekkosan is in fact female!!!
Yes, dear readers: in a tense, and highly emotional interview, the personality formerly known as "Gekkosan" poured out her heart and confessed a long and tall tale of deception, lies, falsities and untruths.
Following are some excerpts from the press conference that was held yesterday at the Zany Raymond Salon of the Spanisdictoria Hotel, in Puerto Madrigoza, where, surprisingly, she spoke through a translator.
The opening lines were:
My beloved friends, after consulting with those closest to me, my wonderful therapist, and my lawyer, the time has come to tell the truth: My name is not Gekkosan, my real name is Guecosita. I am in fact not a gecko lizard at all, but a Leptophryne cruentata, and Indonesian toad, a sapita.
That's right, my friends, I'm a girl. According to Yackobraine, my wonderful and excellent therapist, I had long suffered from a severe case of "tail envy", which lead me to deception for the imperious need to have a long, sinuous tail to impress my peers. Once I realized the power of the tail, I also understood that guys were able to do things and get in places that were out of reach for a girl like me - so the next logical step was to become male. This was probably the easiest part, since all I had to do in order to be convincing was to strut like a stiff crane, tell stupid jokes about females, spit on the floor, and move my waist back and forth instead of side to side. Men are so simple and gullible!!
...
The fact is, I am not from South America, I am not a Heathen Atheist Pagan Communist, and my native language is not Spanish.
I am a devout Indonesian Zoroastrian of a proud Oimatsaha descent, and I speak fluent Kusunda. I don't speak a word of Spanish or English. Everything you see on my posts is the product of careful copying and pasting from the online translation tools, or plain and simple plagiarism.
....
I was never shot by the Assasin Kitten, either. That was in fact an elaborate media show designed to promote business and increased my personal funds, which I needed in order to pay for my devastating Chuao Chocolate addiction.
....
I hope you will all be able to forgive my whimsical compulsions, and help me get back on track with a normal life devoted to helping the stressed-out Hollywood Socialites overcome the cruel anxieties and intricacies of their onerous, grueling lives. It is therefore that I proudly announce today the "Help a Starlet Foundation", where we will offer comfort and support for Distressed Divas
I ask you from the bottom of my heart to support this cause and give generously, since the needs of these poor women are indeed very great!
Thank you all for your kind understanding.
....
With this emotional plea, the conference drew to a close, and no questions were allowed or taken.
9 Answers
Well, all this confession is too much for me. I must go and do something really down to earth like clean the cat boxes.
Wow, now this is a real shock, however....I have been calling you sapo anyway, so ...does not bother me at all!
I am so happy to hear that you have so generously been self-exculpated from that sinister prison of lies which you had built and entombed yourself in and are now free to crusade for those poor unfortunate divas.
And to think that this entire time we had our very own Doncella de Orléans right here in our very midst, and if not but for this courage bequeathing, honesty inspiring, holiest of holy days this entire chapter in history might well have passed by unawares.
Thank you Sapita-san!
And thank you April for selflessly blessing us with your first born child so that all truths might rightfully come to light.
April Fools!
So have you been a male gecko trapped in the body of a female toad crying to get out?
And, are there sex change and species change operations and drugs that can help you live the life you dream of that you were always meant to live as a male gecko?
long suffered from a severe case of "tail envy"
O M G I am rolling on the floor laughing about this one!
I will support your cause, no matter what gender you are this week. 
I heard you had a tail when you were a baby!
Once I realized the power of the tail, I also understood that guys were able to do things and get in places that were out of reach for a girl like me
omg...
And thank you April for selflessly blessing us with your first born child so that all truths might rightfully come to light.
I am not sure what to believe any more today lol I have been duped (tricked) too many times already so sadly the only thing I have to say is....Whatever lol
Well, that just sounds like another loooooonnnnnngggg tail to me lol 
