I appologize for the offensive comment.

Question

It seems to me, that what I think of as an innocent post is not thought of in that light by many of you at Spanishdict.

I realize what I said was taken for something dreadful and inappropriate. For that I apologize.

In my profession, when emotion is displayed, I see two types. Anger and humor. Never ever anything else. Oh, we talk about life and home, but you will never see a tear in the eye of a soldier (not even after losing one of our own). After living this way for so long, it is shocking to me when I come across people who actually “have” feelings.

When I return home I will have over 2 years in combat. I have seen things here worse than the Saw movies and I have done things that I have only seen in action movies. I don’t regret these things, but they have warped my mind in a sense. Hopefully, someday, after I have been home for a while, I will be a normal human being again. Until that day, please, feel free to slap my hand again, over and over if need be.

Last time I came home it took me 6 months to return to what I felt was normal. Hopefully this time it won’t be that long. Talking with “normal” people like all of you at Spanishdict helps a lot with the process. Thank you all for your patience.

What worries me is I see your coment as an innosent post also... Well. I take is as warning for myself... - Behemoth, Oct 23, 2009

I am confused............what have we done wrong???? - sunshinzmommie, Oct 23, 2009

thank you phil:) - 00494d19, Oct 23, 2009

Hi Phil - I have obviosly missed something here. I never saw anything written by you as offensive. Good luck to you mate. - ian-hill, Oct 23, 2009

That person is always getting my feelings all hurt up...about time I got an apology!!! - ChamacoMalo, Oct 23, 2009

Rotflmfao!!! :) - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Wow apologizing is a real point scorer....guys I'm sorry too...... - jeezzle, Oct 23, 2009

Answer 1

When I come home I will be a grandfather and I can't wait!

Then I think that your grandchild will digg out all the sensitivity that is buried and asleep very deep inside your heart - because no matter how horrible the things we experience are, a new life is always a new hope for better future. And we MUST believe it, it's our duty if we want to make this world a better place. Just a little, tiny bit - that's what everyone can do. Evil is easy to notice, whereas good deeds are kind of common, grey and seem to be boring. But it's the everyday kindness, support we give to each other and the ability to forgive that makes this planet go round.

I think he has already started digging it out. I have a picture of the ultra-sound on the wall of my room. - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Great comment, y the way! - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Well, I can see what my son "did" to my mum, who had a hard time with her husband a few years ago... Now she claims that her grandson is "the man of her life" :) - Issabela, Oct 23, 2009

very nice issa - 00494d19, Oct 23, 2009

I'm a sucker for kids anyway. - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Have they ever told you this? - Issabela, Oct 23, 2009

Answer 2

Lol, i'm catching the tail-end of this...what was so horrible that he said? I'm asking because I'm usually a very honest, and blunt kind of guy, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because I know there are lots of people who are easily offended (most just can't handle the truth jaja).

Anyways, I think that was truly brave apologizing for whatever you could've possibly said.

DJ, would you check out my question about the subjunctive on the question over "did you want us to bring a paper copy." - sunshinzmommie, Oct 23, 2009

yea can you send me a link? - DJ_Huero, Oct 26, 2009

Answer 3

After, I returned from Vietnam after 18 months of military duty there,It took me about 10 years to get out of my military frame of mind, It helped me that I found very nice people that helped me along the way. A Fransciscan monk gave me a leave from a Olive tree from Israel without me asking for it. He walked to me and gave me the leave, he did not say much,he said"this will help " and it did.I will never forget that day,I was having a very hard time. And, his kind action made my day.That was the beggining of my spiritual awakening. I am not a very religious sort but I do believe in the kindness of the Spirit.The " Saint Francis Monastery " in Washington DC was my sanctuary,I went there often I also went everyday to spiritual meetings and that really helped.At that time I also began Zen buddismt meditations.I changed a lot during those years.

I am sure that you will survive and , I am sure you will find peace of mind. thanks for doing your duty as a citizen.

Thanks for your service also Gus!!! - Nicole-B, Oct 24, 2009

Answer 4

Hey Phil,

I've been out all day and just caught up with this thread. It truly brought tears to my eyes. When I saw your comment flagged last night, I questioned the person as to why they flagged you. It is not that I couldn't see the possibilities of pictures from a war zone as offensive to someone. Rather, I was surprised because you are a valued member of this community, who makes nothing but excellent contributions. As soon as I read your comment, I sensed it was sarcasm used to deal with the horrors you must see on a regular basis. My only thought was gratitude that you are willing to put up with years of suffering over there so the rest of us have the freedom to decide whether we want to see a horror movie or not.

I admire you now more than ever. To be honest, I have seen comments far more offensive, and has Heidi mentioned, with no apologies. You are a stand up guy and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the excellent example you have displayed.

I'm in your corner, Nicole

Answer 5

Hi caza

I don´t think Phil made his remark on this thread. If I am correct it has been copied here and from what I can see there was no need to apologise. For my part Phil´s comment was hinting at the horrors of wars. Something, thank God, 99.9999999% of the members on this site will never be involved in.

Thank you for that comment. - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Yes thanks, I´m up with it now - caza, Oct 24, 2009

Answer 6

I think that Phil's comments are admirable in that the show he has the character to apologize and see things from other perspectives than his own. - Izanoni1

This was said by Izan, and I am glad this got solved, Phil, thanks a lot for taking the trouble to apologize, I am sure you did not mean any harm

I am also sorry to see Eric was misunderstood, he only made a comment, after all so many people are fans of this kind of films, I thought his comment was rather according to his age.

However, I always find it surprising to see anybody apologize. Especially those who meant no harm at all. I have always been a hothead and I find it rather difficult to apologize which I should learn to do more often.

I have also seen much worse on this site, and no apologies were offered.

So I really did not think this was really asked for, but I am very happy to see that we do have such nice members on this site who we can count on to do the right thing.

thanks a lot Phil and all the others, too

Well, I am married and I have learned, if there is an offense, intended or not, appologize! - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

I am coming up on 13 years of marriage and I was blessed to learn this truth after my first year of marriage!! Good on ya!! - Jason7R, Oct 23, 2009

Best to learn that one early. - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Answer 7

Phil said:

I have seen things here worse than the Saw movies and I have done things that I have only seen in action movies.

That's so very sad, but true. I wish you the very best when you return home (hopefully very soon).

God bless.

Not soon enough. When I come home I will be a grandfather and I can't wait! - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

I just hope not before your term is up. - Zoltán, Oct 23, 2009

Yes, I hope to complete the tour. The other way home kinda sux. - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Answer 8

Phil, I may just be 9 going on 10 years old. But I've lost my dad, uncle, and brother in this war. I live with my mother, and I'm sure everyone is happy you apoligized, but Eric apolgized for what I think wasn't even a bad post and you still shame him even more. What is up with that?

I was actually taking the blame. I was saying I'm older I should have known better. - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

I think that you may be a bit confused with what Phil is saying...He is in no way "shaming" Eric, he is pointing out the distinction that he as a 38 year old grandfather to be should does not have age as an excuse for not knowing better. - Izanoni1, Oct 23, 2009

Oh, sorry. So your going to be a grandfather? That is great My sister is fixing to have a kid, she is 13 her name is Lakota. - 0059b488, Oct 23, 2009

I think that Phil's comments are admirable in that the show he has the character to apologize and see things from other perspectives than his own. - Izanoni1, Oct 23, 2009

HI chrissi, another misunderstaning....sorry - 00494d19, Oct 23, 2009

Answer 9

Thanks for pointing me to the thread. I can only say that for those of us who have been involved in the horrors of Afghanistan and Iraq - and the photos and stories that came home - that need to be listened to so that person can try to clear his head - there is no comparison with a horror movie. It brings tears to my eyes just reading those two names.

My mother has two sons in Iraq right now. This is his 5th trip to the middle east. I can't imagine wht you mothers must go through. Thank you! - Seitheach, Oct 24, 2009

Answer 10

Phil, I worked in a couple of maximum security prisons for males for about a year.Maybe the closest thing to the process of hardening yourself in war that I will get to experience.

I don't think your comment was offensive but I can understand laughing at stuff that was definitely not funny after a while at the prisons.It was adaptive there but shocking to others when I was in genteel society.(Like I am genteel on any level anyway) It took a lot of time to soften myself again.

I think staying connected to people not living in the setting of war is an excellent preventive measure.Also looking at that ultrasound!

Answer 11

I don't know if this fits the definition of "irony" but there is a huge ad for the Saw movie on my screen! jejejejeje

really???? jejejejejejejej - 00494d19, Oct 23, 2009

Me too..the ad just popped up as I was reading this. - --Mariana--, Oct 23, 2009

I saw the same ad and thought the same thing. 2 trailers. - nizhoni1, Oct 24, 2009

Answer 12

Can someone tell me how to get to the beginning of this thread please - not being very computer illiterate I´think I´ve missed something somewhere.

As the Mother of a soldier son who has done 2 tours of Iraq, 1 of Afganistan and not looking forward to that sons return to Afghanistan in April I would be interested in knowing what has been said and what the offensive remark was - I bet I´ve got something to say!

You can view a post by 1) most votes, 2) oldest post or 3) newest post. - Eddy, Oct 23, 2009

Thanks - caza, Oct 24, 2009

Answer 13

Caza - start here - this thread may make more sense to you then

Thank you behemouth. - Valerie, Oct 23, 2009

Answer 14

Phil, this isn't your fault. It is mine, I shouldn't of said what I did, but hey I'm just a stupid 14 year old. I take 100% blame.

Exactly. You are 14 im 38! - Seitheach, Oct 23, 2009

Eric, darling, no fretting, this was all just a silly misunderstanding - 00494d19, Oct 23, 2009

Answer 15

Paz mis amigos