Raising children - proofread my English please

Question

"Raise children with strict discipline or leave them free to learn life's lessons on their own'"

Here a message a wrote as an answer to the previous question:

"When my daughter was in her first school years I was strict with her and I realized later it didn't work like that. My daughter became fearful from me. She used to forget her homework and she didn't bring her notebooks to home. Later the teacher asked me 'Why does your daughter isn't doing her homework''. Only in that moment I realized that I was in the wrong way. I changed a lot about her because of that. The only problem was her scholar performance, I mean, not her grades but her skills, her handwriting and her scholar duties. Although she was above the average.

Now, and since ever my wife and me focus around values, about health, about physical activity, the social part, etc. I mean, about the importance of an integral development, and about the importance of enjoying her childhood.

She is twelve. She doesn't need a boyfriend. She needs a puppy! And so do I! I'm relaxed with her but I keep complaining for basic things/responsibilities like the importance of be tidy, etc.. But that isn't my cup of tea either LOL

I mean, rather than being strict or not, the important think is set an example and spend time with them. If a parent keeps watching TV at nights, why he/she would be entitled to ask too much to children'"

Thank you,

Answer 1

Pablo:

Here is one suggested revision of your composition. You already know there are many ways to get the same result. This is just one of them.

[color=blue]Here is a composition I wrote as an answer to the previous question:

...

I will monitor this Thread for a few days so if you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll answer as soon as possible.

Recuerdos,

Moe

Moe,

Thank you very much for your time and composition. I'll review it during the weekend. Don't worry. Have a good weekend.

Answer 2

"Raise children with strict discipline or leave them free to learn life's lessons on their own'"

Here a message a wrote as an answer to the previous question:

"When my daughter was in her first school years I was strict with her and I realized later it didn't work like that. My daughter became fearful from me. She used to forget her homework and she didn't bring her notebooks to home. Later the teacher asked me **"Why isn't your daughter doing her homework'" **Only in that moment I realized that I was in the wrong way. I changed a lot about her because of that. The only problem was her scholar performance, I mean, not her grades but her skills, her handwriting and her scholar duties. Although she was above the average.

Now, and since ever my wife and me focus around values, about health, about physical activity, the social part, etc. I mean, about the importance of an integral development, and about the importance of enjoying her childhood.

She is twelve. She doesn't need a boyfriend. She needs a puppy! And so do I! I'm relaxed with her but I keep complaining for basic things/responsibilities like the importance of be tidy, etc.. But that isn't my cup of tea either LOL

I mean, rather than being strict or not, the important think is set an example and spend time with them. If a parent keeps watching TV at nights, why he/she would be entitled to ask too much to children'"

Thank you,

Very good Pablo! You seem to learn English alot quicker than I learn Spanish, your paragraph is near perfect!

Answer 3

Pablo:

Here is one suggested revision of your composition. You already know there are many ways to get the same result. This is just one of them.

**Here is a composition I wrote as an answer to the previous question:

'During my daughter's early school years, I was strict with her. Later, I realized that my strict approach was not working. She had become fearful of me. She would forget her homework and would not bring her notebooks home from school. Her teacher asked me, 'Why isn't your daughter doing her homework'? In that moment, I realized that my strict approach was a problem and I needed to change the way I dealt with her. One of the problem indicators was her overall school performance. Her knowledge as revealed by her grades was acceptable. However, her skills such as handwriting and the completion of her assignments were below an acceptable level.

My wife and I changed our approach to child raising. Now, we focus on our daughter's health, physical activities and social interactions, etc. Our focus and our daughter's lifestyle is more about whole person development and the enjoyment of her childhood.

She is twelve. She doesn't need a boyfriend. She needs a puppy! I think I need a puppy too! I'm more relaxed with her than I was but I still nag at her about the importance of tidiness, neatness, order and other things that are not really about being a twelve year old girl. I've realized that my behaviour is not what I want and is not my cup of tea.

Child rearing is not just about being strict or not. Some important things are to set an example for our daughter and spend time with her. If parents only watch TV and don't include their children in their lives, then how would they be entitled to ask too much of their children'**

I will monitor this Thread for a few days so if you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll answer as soon as possible.

Recuerdos,
Moe