Can you please check this "press release" for me?

0
votes

HOW I LOVE AND VALUE THIS FORUM! NOW WE NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP IN TRANSLATING
THIS PRESS RELEASE INTO SPANISH. IF THERE ARE ANY PROFESSIONAL COPYWRITERS OR
JOURNALISTIC EDITORS HERE, PLEASE REVIEW THE RELEASE AS IT IS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH

IN ADVANCE, THANK YOU!

ARTCAMP STUDIOS
Juan Ruiz del Alarcón s/n
Tecalpulco, Guerrero
México

011 52 762 622 0834 Mexico
011 52 762 621 3747
253 369 2256 USA FAX#

http://artcamp.com.mx/videosofguerrero/

PRESS RELEASE

For Immediate Release

Contact: Martin Rizzi
911 52 762 622 0834
253 369 2256 USA FAX

http://artcamp.com.mx/mexiconostalgia/

Tecalpulco, Guerrero, Mexico, 25 May, 2009 ? Mexico Nostalgia village documentary videos
Premier on 1 July 2009, revealing the truth about what is really going on today in Mexico.

This set of ten original sixty-minute documentary movies
are hosted by the Independent Films distributor Indieflix.

More than twenty million Mexican nationals are presently living in the United States.
Most of them are from small villages throughout the country, and are homesick for the emotion and color of their native land. These original videos feature regional music, bullriding, fiestas, local color, and romance. The movies will be available to download, and to view as streaming video.

The images of Mexico served up by the mass-media, of narco-wars and of swine-flu, are inspired by Made-for-TV dramas, and are very far from the truth of what is really going on in this country.

Filmed on location in the State of Guerrero and subtitled into English, these unique films demonstrate the spirit of the Mexican country people, as well as the talent of the local musicians.

Artcamp Studios is a producer of music and videos, and a auxiliary of the handcraft jewelry production cottage industry of the villages of Tecalpulco and Taxco El Viejo.

IndieFlix.com is a Seattle-based independent film distribution and discovery site founded on the principles of community, promotion, syndication and transparency, providing independent filmmakers the opportunity to have their work seen outside ordinary distribution channels

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

México Nostalgia Videos documentales están estrenando en 1 Julio 2009,
revelando la verdad de lo que realmente esta pasando presentemente en México.

Este juego de diez películas originales de sesenta minutos cada uno están presentados
por el distribuidor de videos independientes, Indieflix.com

Hoy en día, mas que veinte millones de Mexicanos están viviendo en los Estados Unidos.
La mayoría de ellos son de pueblos chicos por toda la nación, y están buscando la emoción
Y color de su tierra natal. Estos videos originales figuran música regional, montas de toros, fiestas, colorido local, y romance. Las películas van a estar disponible para descargar, y para ver como 'streaming video'.

Los imágenes de México servido por la media masiva, de las guerras de los Narcos, y de la influenza de marranos, son inspirados por dramas 'Hechas-por-Television? y son muy lejos
a la realidad de lo que esta actualmente viviendo en este país.

Grabado en exteriores en Guerrero, México y subtitulado en Ingles, estas películas originales demuestran el espíritu de la gente campesina Mexicana, tanto como el talento de los músicos locales.

Artcamp Studios es un productor de música y videos y un auxiliar de la industria casera de producción de joyería artesanal de los pueblos de Tecalpulco y Taxco El Viejo.

IndieFlix.com es un sitio-web de distribución y descubrimiento basado en Seattle, USA, fundado por principios de comunidad, sindicación, y transparencia, proviniendo fabricantes cinematográficos la oportunidad de tener sus obras visto afuera de los canales de distribución ordinarios.

3112 views
updated JUN 4, 2009
posted by Martin-Rizzi

8 Answers

0
votes

Looking at this as a journalist, I would recommend a more formal tone-- journalists are more likely to read-- and publish-- documents that require the least "work" to convert to AP style. Here is a helpful article from wikihow that I think will be of use to you:
http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Press-Release

The story gives color to the piece, yet phrases like "drunk guys" and "hot bands" are too casual to be used in a formal press release format. Try looking up actual press releases on the web to get the feel of the tone, the language, the structure and the format of a press release. I would actually recommend that you put the story first as a"lead"-- basically a catchy opening that makes the reader want to read more of the release. Don't give away the ending, but make the reader desire to see the movie.

Also, in typical written English, we do not usually use the word "etc." at the end of a list. Instead, just end the list with the final list item, for example, "that her eyes are beautiful, that he had never felt this way before, and that he was in love." Perhaps try to include some quotes from the video rather than "he said that...."

Another reference that would help you a lot is the Associated Press Guide to Newswriting. It can be purchased on Amazon used for $5
http://www.amazon.com/Associated-Press-Guide-Newswriting-Reference/dp/0028637550/ref=sr_1_1'ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244128796&sr=8-1

updated JUN 4, 2009
posted by Alicia2919
0
votes

When I looked at the master Press release doc I found out i had revised it all
to eliminate the tendentious '¿ comment about how the mass-media images of Mexico
are based on Made-for-TV dramas. I figured that few folks would have a clue as to
what i am talking about, & some of those few might suspect i hold extremist views.

What do you think as a professional or as a reader. Here is the latest version
i had adapted. If it seems as if I am lost as a lamb in all this thats right i am.

Tecalpulco, Guerrero, Mexico,? Mexico Nostalgia Village documentary videos
- the truth about what is going on in Mexico.

Azucena To The Rodeo is the first of ten new 60-minute documentary Mexico Nostalgia videos to be released on June 6th, by independent films distributor Indieflix.com. Featuring modern rural Mexican band music, bull-riding, fiestas, fireworks, local color, and romance, these fresh and exciting movies will be available to download, as well as to view in streaming video.

Filmed on location in the State of Guerrero and subtitled into English, these unique films demonstrate the tradition and spirit of the Mexican country people, as well as the extraordinary talent of the local musicians ? some very hot local bands.

More than twenty million Mexican nationals are presently living in the United States. The majority of them are villagers, homesick for the emotions and childhood memories of México.

Azucena is a village girl whose dad won't give her permission to go to the fair with her friend. At the carnival, a handsome boy invites the girls to see him ride a wild bull at the rodeo. They attend the colorful fiesta with crowds of country folks enjoying themselves among clowns and cattle-men, vendors and little kids, dancing couples, brave bull riders, cowpokes, drunk guys, etc. Lucio Moreno and his Dominguera Band are live and strong on the stage, performing HOT backwoods Mexican 15-piece band music, to the tune of nine dramatic wild bull rides. Afterwards, the boy takes her to a dark corner, telling her that her eyes are beautiful, that he has never felt this way before, that he loves her, etc. He is able to convince the girl to run away with him, without even going home to tell her mother good-bye. A year later, he and his buddy are bantering about how his pretty young girlfriend had gone to jail for him.

Artcamp IT Studios is a producer of music and videos, and an auxiliary of the handcraft jewelry cottage industry of the villages of Tecalpulco and Taxco El Viejo, State of Guerrero, México.

IndieFlix.com is a Seattle-based independent film distribution and discovery site founded on the principles of community, promotion, syndication and transparency, providing independent filmmakers the opportunity to have their work seen outside ordinary distribution channels.

updated JUN 4, 2009
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

Wow thanks. I appreciate your help, and the exceptions you made are all well taken

I am going to go now and edit the master document for this Press Release letter -

Son diez peliculas en total, asi es que las podemos estrenar/promocionar una por una

Best wishes from Mexico amiga

martinR

updated JUN 4, 2009
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

PROOFREAD ENGLISH EDITION

Tecalpulco, Guerrero, Mexico,? Mexico Nostalgia village documentary videos premier on 1 July 2009, revealing the truth about what is really going on today in Mexico.

Ten original sixty-minute documentary Mexico Nostalgia movies are being released. These videos are hosted by the Independent Films distributor Indieflix.

More than twenty million Mexican nationals are presently living in the United States. The majority of them are from small villages, and they are homesick for the emotion and childhood memories of their native land. These original videos feature regional music, bullriding, fiestas, local color, and romance. The movies will be available to download,**(parallel structure) as well as to view as streaming video.

**

** Part ** of the reason for these documentary videos is to counteract the images of Mexico fomented by the major mass-media - of narco-wars and of swine-flu - which are inspired by Made-for-TV dramas, ** images that are **very far from ** the truth of what is really (unnecessary words here. As a journalist, I would recommend conciseness-- perhaps rephrase to "what is truly") ** going on in this country.

Filmed on location in the State of Guerrero and subtitled ** into the English language (once again, unnecessary words. Possibly rephrase "in English") **, these unique films demonstrate the tradition and spirit of the Mexican country people, as well as the extraordinary talent of the local musicians ? some very hot local bands.

Artcamp Studios is a producer of music and videos[delete comma] and an auxiliary of the handcraft jewelry production cottage industry of the villages of Tecalpulco and Taxco El Viejo, State of Guerrero.

IndieFlix.com is a Seattle-based independent film distribution and discovery site founded on the principles of community, promotion, syndication and transparency, providing independent filmmakers the opportunity to have their work seen outside ordinary distribution channels.

This is very well done. I only found a few things, and made some suggestions for conciseness as indicated in parentheses.

updated JUN 3, 2009
posted by Alicia2919
0
votes

Muchisamas gracias amiga.

updated MAY 27, 2009
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

HERE IS THE CANDIDATE SPANISH-LANGUAGE VERSION OF THIS PRESS RELEASE. HELP PLEASE.

Los documentales de México Nostalgia [del]documentales[/del] se estrenarán el 1 Julio 2009,

revelando la verdad de lo que realmente está pasando presentemente en México.

Este lote de diez películas documentales originales de sesenta minutos cada uno están presentados por el distribuidor de videos independientes, Indieflix.com

Hoy en día, hay mas que veinte millones de Mexicanos viviendo en los Estados Unidos.

La mayoría de ellos son de pueblos chicos y están buscando la emoción y las memorias de su niñez de su tierra natal. Estos videos originales contienen música regional, montas de toros,

fiestas, colorido local, y romance. Las películas van a estar disponibles para descargar,

y para ver como 'streaming video'.

Las imágenes de México servidos por los medios de comuncación - de las "Guerras de los Narcos", y de la "gripe tipo A", efectivamente son inspirados por dramas 'Hechas-para-Television? y estan muy lejos de la realidad de lo que realmente ocurre en el país.

Grabados en exteriores en Guerrero, México y subtitulados en Inglés,

estas películas originales demuestran el espíritu y tradición de la gente campesina Mexicana,

tanto como el talento extraordinario de los músicos locales.

Artcamp Studios es un productor de música y vídeos y un auxiliar de la industria casera

de producción de joyería artesanal de los pueblos Guerrerenses de Tecalpulco y Taxco El Viejo.

IndieFlix.com es un sitio-web de distribución y descubrimiento,

basado en Seattle, USA, fundado por principios de comunidad, sindicación,

y transparencia, proviniendo fabricantes cinematográficos la oportunidad

de tener su obra visto afuera de los canales ordinarios de distribución.

Look at my corrections, I have only highlighted few.

updated MAY 27, 2009
posted by 00494d19
0
votes

HERE IS THE CANDIDATE SPANISH-LANGUAGE VERSION OF THIS PRESS RELEASE. HELP PLEASE.

México Nostalgia Videos documentales están estrenando en 1 Julio 2009,
revelando la verdad de lo que realmente esta pasando presentemente en México.

Este juego de diez películas documentales originales de sesenta minutos cada uno están presentados por el distribuidor de videos independientes, Indieflix.com

Hoy en día, hay mas que veinte millones de Mexicanos viviendo en los Estados Unidos.
La mayoría de ellos son de pueblos chicos y están buscando la emoción y las memorias de su niñez de su tierra natal. Estos videos originales figuran música regional, montas de toros,
fiestas, colorido local, y romance. Las películas van a estar disponible para descargar,
y para ver como 'streaming video'.

Los imágenes de México servido por la media masiva - de las "Guerras de los Narcos", y de la "influenza de marranos", efectivamente son inspirados por dramas 'Hechas-por-Television? y son muy lejos a la realidad de lo que esta actualmente viviendo en este país.

Grabado en exteriores en Guerrero, México y subtitulado en Ingles,
estas películas originales demuestran el espíritu y trdición de la gente campesina Mexicana,
tanto como el talento extraordinario de los músicos locales.

Artcamp Studios es un productor de música y videos y un auxiliar de la industria casera
de producción de joyería artesanal de los pueblos Guerrerenses de Tecalpulco y Taxco El Viejo.

IndieFlix.com es un sitio-web de distribución y descubrimiento,
basado en Seattle, USA, fundado por principios de comunidad, sindicación,
y transparencia, proviniendo fabricantes cinematográficos la oportunidad
de tener su obra visto afuera de los canales ordinarios de distribución.

updated MAY 27, 2009
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

http://my.spanishdict.com/forum/ SpanishDict

Any help with the correction
or improvement of this Press Release
will be gratefully appreciated.

Tecalpulco, Guerrero, Mexico,? Mexico Nostalgia village documentary videos premier
on 1 July 2009, revealing the truth about what is really going on today in Mexico.

Ten original sixty-minute documentary Mexico Nostalgia movies are being released.
These videos are hosted by the Independent Films distributor Indieflix.

More than twenty million Mexican nationals are presently living in the United States.
The majority of them are from small villages, and they are homesick for the emotion and childhood memories of their native land. These original videos feature regional music,
bullriding, fiestas, local color, and romance. The movies will be available to download,
as well as for viewing as streaming video.

Parto of the reason for these documentary videos is to counteract the images of Mexico
fomented by the major mass-media - of narco-wars and of swine-flu - which are inspired
by Made-for-TV dramas, very far from the truth of what is really going on in this country.

Filmed on location in the State of Guerrero and subtitled into the English language, these unique films demonstrate the tradition and spirit of the Mexican country people, as well as the extraordinary talent of the local musicians ? some very hot local bands.

Artcamp Studios is a producer of music and videos, and an auxiliary of the handcraft jewelry production cottage industry of the villages of Tecalpulco and Taxco El Viejo, State of Guerrero.

IndieFlix.com is a Seattle-based independent film distribution and discovery site founded on
the principles of community, promotion, syndication and transparency, providing independent filmmakers the opportunity to have their work seen outside ordinary distribution channels

updated MAY 27, 2009
posted by Martin-Rizzi