Can someone look over this short paragraph for me?

Question

Estoy muy ocupado con la escuela en este momento. Tengo una prueba y un examen esta semana. La semana próxima, yo tendré que estudiar mucho para otra prueba. Yo también tengo que escribir dos papeles para la semana próxima. Trabajaré realmente mantenerse al ritmo de duramente mis grados. Sé que haré bastante bien para que yo me graduaré en diciembre. ¡Habrá un partido grande una vez yo soy terminado!

Answer 1

Natasha said:

oops
No "oops" needed. Lazarus may no be familiar with the idiom (or may not have noticed) the "up" in your reply. To 'keep up ones grades" carries with it the strong implication of maintaining good grades. In theory, I suppose that one might use the expression to imply a bad (but passing) grade if one considered the most likely outcome to be a failing grade (but it's a bit of a stretch).

Answer 2

Thanks!

Answer 3

Sorry Lazarus! When I posted my previous comment, I hadn't seen your rewrite. I thought you had just told her to get rid of all the 'yo'. I now see that you also needed the English version of that sentence.

Answer 4

oops

Answer 5

Natasha said:

Try this: I will work really hard to keep up my grades.

Voy a estudiar mucho para seguir sacando buenas notas. (I assume you're keeping good grades, and not just any grades)

Answer 6

LadyDi said:

Also, you need the subjunctive in the last sentence, '...una vez que haya terminado.'

It is quite a complex sentence, but it how it really should be. That's why I suggested the simpler "cuando termine".

Answer 7

lazarus1907 said:

It is quite good, Jennifer, but please, don't say "Yo". It sounds horrible! Remove them all!

In addition to Lazarus' critique, I'd be curious to know what you mean to say in the sentence, 'Trabajaré realmente...' because I had a hard time understanding it. Also, you need the subjunctive in the last sentence, '...una vez que haya terminado.'

Answer 8

Try this: I will work really hard to keep up my grades.

Answer 9

It is quite good, Jennifer, but please, don't say "Yo". It sounds horrible! Remove them all!

:

Estoy muy ocupada con la escuela en este momento. Tengo una prueba y un examen esta semana. La semana próxima , yo tendré que estudiar mucho para otra prueba. Yo también tengo que escribir dos papeles [what kind of papers'] para la semana próxima. Trabajaré realmente mantenerse al ritmo de duramente mis grados [I need the English version to correct this]. Sé que haré bastante bien para graduarme en diciembre. ¡Habrá un gran partido [match or party'] cuando yo termine!

Answer 10

Jennifer, your title should be descriptive, please. See the Forum Rules. Example title: "Estoy muy ocupado con la escuela"