no escuche mal asta hable conella. no andes de. text messages translation help please

Question

ok, I really need to know what these text messages say. I'm pretty sure they are spelled terribly incorrect so please keep that in mind. Also, I am typing them exactly as they were written. Good Luck in helping me with this. thanks.

(This message is from a man to a woman)
1. no escuche mal asta hable conella. no andes de.

(The rest of the messages are from a woman to a man)
2. no mame es chuchaste mal nomames
3. hola guerito. o yi ques ta tenias novia
4. mentirosito guerito. Se esch cheba coma buenea persona

1. como que paso eres el que me dijiste que ya no estebas.
2. luego fui anea mi tio para carguer no telefono
3. si mi pare andaba pasado por la cala griando tu nombre cuando.
   Si me acabo. La baluna.
4. disculpame y ahora por que no me contestas no me digas que todavia estas
   enojato
5. te voy hablar mas tarde por que estoy trabajando
6. ya no te vi domas vi un muchacho con una muchacha

HELP!!!!!!
AYUDA!!!!
GRACIAS

Answer 1

hey how's it going ?

The reason you can't seem to find this anywhere is there is alot of slang in this.

1. no Listen to me talk to her (no andes de)?
   2.no mames is a way of saying Don't mess with my head/don't f with me in a joking way.
2. Hey whiteboy, Do you have a girlfreind?
   4.lier whiteboy, your girfriend is a good person.
   5.What is wrong why didn't you call me?
   9.Call me later because I am working.
   hope that helped a bit.

Answer 2

1. hello beautiful already itself that you have girlfriend
2. beautiful lying. I even that were your a good person
3. that step? you told me that were not
4. then I was with my tio to charge the telefono
5. go my father walked for aqui when me I am finished the bateria
6. excuse me. and now because do not answer me? your todabia these angry with I
7. we speak but late I am working at this time
8. I did not see you, alone look at a man and a woman

I do not speak English I want to learn
bye

Answer 3

This doesn't seem like Spanish. The grammar is often wrong, the orthography is non-existant, and they seem to be writting words like "Da Nigaz" in English (probably even worse). Some of the words are not just badly spelled -it seems that whoever wrote this doesn't know to speak.

I only understand sentences 3, 8 and 9.