Correction of the article in English

Question

Hi I want to improve my writing, I have used in this paragraph some idioms in English, can you review and tell me what is wrong?

The Gloria Company recently has had a problem whit this “milk product”, this problem came to light when the company wanted to export his product to Panama, nevertheless the regulation entity of the country realizes the composition of the product didn’t have enough milk to be this kind of product. The regulator asked to remove the cow image from the tin tag of the product for being misleading. Despite of the company has been operating for years in Peru, the regulator as well as the population has been as blind as a bat. Only when the regulator of the other country realized about this problem the regulator of Peru started to work by creating a law. On another hand, the population no longer wanted to buy canned milk. We can say the company’s growth plan backfired.

Thanks!!

Answer 1

Hi Roy. Your attempt was good. Demonstrative article use needed attention more then anything else:

The Gloria Company has recently had a problem with their its “milk product”. This problem came to light when the company wanted to export the product to Panama, but the regulatory body of that country realized the composition of the product didn’t have enough milk to be considered a milk product. The regulator asked them to remove the cow image from the tin tag of the product because it was misleading. In spite of this the company had been operating for years in Peru and the regulator, as well as the population, had been as blind as a bat. Only after Panama's regulator discovered this problem did the regulator from Peru start creating a law. On the other hand, the population no longer wanted to buy canned milk. We can say the company’s growth plan backfired.

I'm not sure of the intention of "on the other hand." It doesn't really seem to fit with what you are saying, which seems like it should be something more like "But by then." I can't think of a suitable idiom that conveys this at present: "But by that point" would be a little more idiomatic.

Thanks! jellonz, I really understand what you mean... I have a question if the company continues to operate in Peru, why dou you use the past perfect instead of the present perfect .. In the sentences that begins with "In spite.." - Roy0905, Jul 14, 2017

Good question Roy. You could use present perfect, but I went with past perfect because something has changed: The regulator and the population are no longer blind as a bat, but they *had* been. - jellonz, Jul 14, 2017

I should say "had" changed :) - jellonz, Jul 14, 2017

I just understood, thanks ! - Roy0905, Jul 14, 2017

De nada :) - jellonz, Jul 14, 2017

The "company" is grammatically singular. Why is it not "with ITS milk product? - Daniela2041, Jul 15, 2017

Good question Dani. Either is fine. A singular entity that consists of multiple individual parts, such as a company, can take a singular or plural possessive. - jellonz, Jul 15, 2017

As an added note, the singular usage would be more impersonal here. Making the possessive plural makes "the company" seem more familiar. An English nuance :) - jellonz, Jul 15, 2017

This a really good effort. Small point I want to mention. It is more correct to say "had problem with its milk product" because the Gloria Company is singluar and therefore the pronoun referring to it should be singular. - escritoraEEUU, Jul 15, 2017

Yes, I agree with escritoraEEU since in many managment books I find it that way. I think is more formal English, isn't it? - Roy0905, Jul 16, 2017

Yes. I've mislead you here sorry Roy, but not for the obvious reason. Using the plural possessive for entities comprised of multiple individual parts is fine. It comes down to stylistic or perhaps regional preference. When used it personifies the entity. - jellonz, Jul 16, 2017

That said, my error here is that I have used the singular present perfect construction "has" which clashes with my later plural possessive. It should either be have / their or has / its. In light of a lack of general acceptance I'd advise the latter ... - jellonz, Jul 16, 2017

... as both Escritoria and Daniela have suggested. Sorry again for the error :) - jellonz, Jul 16, 2017

Answer 2

Muy generoso, jello

Welcome to the forum, roy , as you can see we are a very friendly bunch here

Thanks! Heidita.. I was looking for a free web site to improve my englilsh and until now I belive this is one of my prefer blogs. :D - Roy0905, Jul 15, 2017

If someone want to improve your spanish, I can help you with that. You can connect me by Skype or hangout. - Roy0905, Jul 15, 2017