Help With Early Modern Spanish
Hi there!
I am trying to correctly translate a few sentences from a 1552 published text by a veteran named Diego Nuñez de Alba. All I need to know is that I got the general sense correctly and did not make any "big" mistakes, although I believe I didn't really understand the last sentence or two... I'm adding the exact transcript of the text and then my crude translation.
"Por que al desastrado soldado, despues de aver sus parientes visto muertos, y escapado, como pescado por malla rota, con la persona toda quebrantada, aviendo trocado los años que de la vida se le han disminuido, por enfermedades, que le acompañen, los que le quedan de vivir, todo en servicio del Rey, acabada la jornada, piensa el Rey que con pagarle su sueldo, no le queda nada a dever, y hecha la cuenta de lo que del has podido ahorrar, por diez tanto no arriscaras una sola vez la vida quanto mas tantas cada dia. Y como seas Soldado privado todo el mundo se reiria de ti, si algo te viessen demandarle, como si tus carnes no fuessen de carne, para aver sentido tanto el trabajo, como los que pretenden las mercedes, mayormente si acaso has sido criado en tanto regalo como ellos."
My basic translation:
"Because for the ragged soldiers, after having seen his relatives dead, and having escaped, like a fish through a torn net, with his entire person broken, having traded the years that were reduced from his life by diseases that would accompany him through the years that are left for him to live, all in the service of the king; the campaign having ended, the king thinks that with paying him his wage, nothing is left to be owed to him, and having calculated what you can save from (wage), you would not risk your life even once, risking it so many times each day, for ten wages. And being a common soldier, everyone would laugh at you if they saw you demanding it, as if you are not flesh and bone and could not feel the physical burden as much as those who claim the favors, especially if by chance you were raised in the same luxury as they did."
I know it's tedious, but I can really use a second (and third etc.) opinion on this..
Muchas gracias!
11 Answers
Heidita asked me to come take a look, and all I can say is I'm very, very impressed by your translation.
As Heidita hints, many (most?) native Spanish speakers would understand at least 1/4 of the text as written (and I include myself in that lot). Even if you're "no longer a beginner", that translation must have taken a fair amount of work.
I know I don't have anything to add to the comments already made. I'd have to take some time to research some of the spinier expressions, but on first reading it looks darned good!
Great job!
Genial, gekko, un abrazo y gracias por tus comentarios 
yeah...shere, I agree with gekko on this: somewhat difficult?? you must be kidding me, jejeje, anyway, I can see gekko agreed with me on that the family got murdered.
“Desastrado” I look at as “shell-shocked”. But your “war-torn” is just as good.
No, not shell-shocked. It means badly dressed, with a very bad appearance etc. You can use that in modern Spanish. I suppose war-torn is more to the point.
I looked at your profile. You are a beginner in Spanish? Remarkable!
indeed, and I am a beginner in English!! 
cmon!
I hadn't seen that...shere, go change your profile to "superstar" , jeje
Wow! That predates “Don Quijote” (1602). I think your translation is excellent. It’s a bit “choppy” but I believe that it reflects what Núñez wished to convey. Good Job! I think “soldado privado” is more of a “mercenary”. “Desastrado” I look at as “shell-shocked”. But your “war-torn” is just as good.
One thing that perplexes me is the letter “h” in the Spanish. My edition of “Quijote” contains not a single “h”. Where the “h” appears in modern Spanish, there is an “f” (“fermosa”, “fecho” “fermano”, etc. I looked but not deeply, to find out when the “h” was added to the alphabet. That was some time ago. I wonder why the difference between the two texts.
I looked at your profile. You are a beginner in Spanish? Remarkable!
by the way, I believe this means:
despues de aver sus parientes visto muertos, y escapado, como pescado por malla rota,
he saw them get killed..let me call some Spanish natives to this thread...
I am from Spain, let's hear other opinions.
Thanks for everything people! You've been extremely helpful.
By the way, this is only a paragraph out of a dialogue of about 200 pages... It was written by a veteran (Alba) of the Schmalkaldic War (1546-47) in Germany between Carlos I (or rather Karl V, the emperor) and the Protestant princes in Saxony. As a poor veteran of noble descent (hidalgo) Alba, a resident of Ciudad Rodrigo, wrote a dialogue between Militio (representing himself) and his cousin Cliterio (representing a young and naive youth who wants to join the army) and addressed the work to the powerful (and infamous) duke of Alba. His objective was most likely to demonstrate his plight after the war, similarly to other poor veterans. As you can see, this paragraph seems to be very autobiographical. The dialogue in general was written under heavy humanistic influences.
Sorry for the TMI... If you have any more suggestions, I'll be happy to know!
And just to be clear, I edited my profile a long long time ago and am no longer a beginner. Nevertheless, as you can see, Nuñez Alba went a long way to make his text resemble the Latin works that he was obviously reading. If you native speakers deem this text somewhat difficult and awkward, you can imagine how I feel... :-(
A nice further exercise could be to translate the whole thing into current lingo, e.g, something like: "after seeing his relatives murdered, and having slipped away like a fish through a hole in the net…". You know, like a modern vet might describe his experience in a recent Middle East conflict. But that'd be just for kicks.
jesus maria y jose....¡¡no hay más que un puñetera punto!!
..., risking it so many times each day,
...leave alone risking it so many times each day.
....for ten wages
for ten times as much
I am very, I mean V E R Y, impressed, amigo mío.
Para leer esto y saber traducirlo tienes que tener un dominio realmente asobroso del español.
Enhorabuena, esto es fantástico.
I just wrote a couple of notes I would change, but your version was just as acceptable.
Heidita also asked me to look at this post. .
I was forced to read the original version of "El Quijote" in high school and I can tell you it was not easy. You did an extremely good job. I believe I would have a hard time to put it in English as you did even though I can understand the Spanish version just fine with exception of a couple of words.
I have nothing to add to all the comments already posted but wanted to congratulate you.
Whatever you need, shered , just open a new question.
hoping to see you around
