Proofreading (a short text)

Question

Soy una mujer y dirijo un granja en el oeste de EE.UU., en California. Un día cuando estaba en el prado, veía tres niños. Ellos estuvieron caminando hacia yo y mi granja. Parecían a refugiados porque eran sucio en sus manos y ropas y también parecían asustado. Para unos minutos los niños solo estuvieron de pie y mirando en me. Yo les sonreía, entonces empezaron hablando con me.

This is only the beginning of the text, but I am most insecure about the use of the verb tenses!

Answer 1

I'm not a native speaker, but I'll give it a crack. Wait for more corrections from others.

Soy una mujer y dirijo un granja en el oeste de EE.UU., en California. Un día cuando estaba en el prado, veía vi tres niños. Ellos estuvieron estaban caminando hacia míyo y mi granja. Parecían a refugiados porque eran estaban sucios en sus las manos y ropas y también además parecían asustados. Para Por unos minutos los niños solo estuvieron de pie y mirándome en me. Yo les sonreía sonreí, entonces leugo empezaron a hablar hablando conmigo con me.

I think the following would be a better way to say one sentence.

Parecían a refugiados porque las manos y ropa estaban sucios y adémas parecían asustados.

tenían las manos sucias y sus ropas también....Durante unos minutos los niños se quedaron parados (or de pie) mirándome. Yo les sonreí y luego empezaron a hablar conmigo. - polenta1, Apr 19, 2017

Soy mujer y dirijo una granja en el oeste de EEUIU. en California. Un día cuando estaba en el campo. ( I wouldn't say prado) The rest seems ok. - polenta1, Apr 19, 2017

Sorry also Parecían refugiados. The "a" is not necesaary. - polenta1, Apr 19, 2017

Answer 2

Thank you!! But why is it estaban and not estuvieron in the third sentence?

Attempted answer by kenhuizenga

Ellos estuvieron / estaban caminando hacia mí y mi granja.

Sometimes, with actions either the preterite or the imperfect can be used.

I suggested the imperfect because I sensed that you were just relating something that you noticed...they were walking towards me...ho hum...no big deal, I'm not worried...

You could certainly used the preterite, because later on you mention that they were just standing there watching you. So, within the context of the total story, you report that "they were walking towards me" was completed. (suggesting the preterite)

And, if you wanted to draw attention to this fact then you could use the preterite. They were walking toward towards me! Oh no! Or...I wonder what they might want! (all this is unstated of course) And I'm making a bigger deal of this than the storyteller would just to make a point.

The preterite is used mostly to punctuate the key events in the story....the imperfect to set the background. In this case I think either would be OK with only a little change in meaning.

Hope this helps, and I welcome comments and corrections from anyone.

They just W E R E dirty...there is no implied beginning or end to this situation or period of time that they were dirty. They were probably dirty before you saw them and after you saw them. - DilKen, Apr 19, 2017

Don't worry, imperfect vs. preterite can take a long time to master. There are tons of youtube videos and web articles to read if you want to learn more. - DilKen, Apr 19, 2017

Stay away from the idea that "completed things" in the past are preterite. That notion, which some people use, will not help you one bit. Almost everything in the past is completed :) - DilKen, Apr 19, 2017

Sorry: I just noticed that my comments above pertain to the 4th sentence instead of the 3rd. I'll put my comments on the 3rd inside of your post. - DilKen, Apr 19, 2017

Ok! Thank you again :) - girl99, Apr 21, 2017

Answer 3

Ken did an excelent version.

Here is my own version:

Soy mujer y dirijo una granja en el oeste de EE.UU., en California. Un día, cuando estaba en el prado, vi a tres niños caminando hacia mi granja. Parecían refugiados porque tenían las manos y la ropa sucias y también parecían asustados. Por unos minutos solo estuvieron de pie mirándome. Yo les sonreí, y entonces empezaron a hablar conmigo.

@Ken: Gracias, Ken! Saludos!

Thanks Luis. I'm gaining on it. It helps me so much to try to do corrections and then learn from people like you, Polenta, Julian and Dani, where I have more to learn. Thanks again for the encouragement. - DilKen, Apr 19, 2017

Answer 4

Why "estaban" and not "estuvieron".

When we have two actions that are connected in English:

1John was working when Peter saw him.

2 Mary phoned while I was having a shower.

"saw" or "phoned" are in the past tense and describe a very short action that interrupts a longer action: "was working" or " was having".

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In Spanish you use these tenses:

1 Juan estaba trabajando cuando Pedro lo vio. (estaba trabajando for the longer action and not "estuviera" trabajando)

2 María llamó por teléfono mientras yo me estaba duchando. (estaba duchando and not "estuviera" duchando.

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Un día yo "estaba" en el prado, mientras ellos "estaban" caminando.