Could you please correct me if I have made any mistake?
The Pencil
The boy was looking at his grandfather to write a letter. "Are you writing a story that happened to both? Is it about me?" He asked him. Grandpa stopped writing and said the grandson. "That's true. I'm writing about you. However, it's more important the pencil that the words I'm writing. I would like you to be like it when you grow up." The boy looked at the pencil, and he didn't see anything particular about it. "But it's the same as all the pencils that I've ever seen in my life!" "It depends on the way in which you look at things. They are five qualities on it that, if you keep them, they'll make you staying at peace with the world," Grandpa said. And continued. "First: you can do great things, but don't ever forget there is a hand guiding your steps. We called it God, and he'll always lead you in the direction of his will." "Second: Once in a while, I need to stop writing and use the pencil sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but it's sharper at the end. Therefore, you must be able to bear some pains, because it'll make you a better person." "Third: the pencil always allows us to use a rubber to erase what is wrong. You must understand that correcting something we have done is not necessarily a bad thing, but something important to keep us in the path of the righteousness." "Fourth: what really matters in pencil is not wood, but the graphite inside. Therefore, you always take care of what happens inside of you." "And finally the fifth quality: it always leave a mark. In the same way, you have to know everything you do in life will leave traces, and try to be mindful of every action."
Thank you anyway!
1 Answer
Here is my rewrite. I only correct for language, and correct as a native would- not by rules but rather by what sounds good. If I changed something you don't understand ask and I will explain why, if I can.
I did not change the punctuation, although it is probably not right, as I don't do well at punctuation myself. I did not try to fix use of capital letters either.
Someone else might change it differently. Wait and see if anyone does.
I did not have a Spanish version to go by.
I don't mark my changes, you will have to find them.
The Pencil
The boy was watching his grandfather write a letter. "Are you writing a story that happened to both of us? Is it about me?" He asked him. Grandpa stopped writing and said to the grandson. "It's true. I'm writing about you. However, the pencil is more important than the words I'm writing. I would like you to be like it when you grow up." The boy looked at the pencil, and he didn't see anything special about it. "But it's the same as all the pencils that I've ever seen in my life!" "It depends on the way in which you look at things. There are five qualities it has that, if you maintain them, they'll keep you at peace with the world," Grandpa said. And continued. "First: you can do great things, but don't ever forget there is a hand guiding your steps. We call him God, and he'll always lead you in the direction of his will." "Second: Once in a while, I need to stop writing and use the pencil sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but it's sharper at the end. Therefore, you must be able to bear some pain, because it'll make you a better person." "Third: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to erase what is wrong. You must understand that correcting something we have done is not necessarily a bad thing, but rather something important to keep us in the path of the righteousness." "Fourth: what really matters in a pencil is not the wood, but instead the graphite inside. Therefore, you must always take care of what happens inside of you." "And finally the fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In the same way, you have to know everything you do in life will leave traces, and try to be mindful of every action."
Thank you very much!-
