Proofread my short paragraph about the Olympics, please?
Hi! Can you proofread my paragraph about the Olympic games? Thank you 
My favourite part about the Olympic Games is that all the athletes seem to get along well, regardless of the countries they belong to. During a race, a girl from New Zealands fell and another athlete stop to help her and cheer her up and even though they got to the goal at the very end, I think we will all remember them for their admirable behaviour. I like their spirit and to watch the players doing what they love! My favourite sport to watch is, probably, synchronised swimming.
4 Answers
Hi.
I would change just a few things. Obviously, other people will have other opinions.
My favourite part about the Olympic Games
My favourite part of the Olympic Games, or My favorite aspect of the Olympic Games
regardless of the countries they belong to
Regardless of the countries they are from
New Zealands
New Zealand
fell and another athlete stop to help her and cheer her up and
fell, and another athlete stopped to help her and cheer her up, and
even though they got to the goal at the very end
I am not sure what you are saying here. Is it that getting to the finish line is memorable, but the interaction of these two athletes was even more memorable? Also, I suspect that what you mean by the goal at the very end is the finish line.
My favourite sport to watch is, probably, synchronised swimming
My favourite sport to watch is probably synchronised swimming
Everything Jt says is good advice.
The only thing I could add is that often non-native English speakers use the conjunction "and" more often than native speakers do in writing. You have a couple of examples here (I'll amend the sentences with the exception of the conjunctions):
During a race a girl from New Zealand fell and another athlete stopped to help her and cheer her up and even though they reached the finish line I think we will all remember them for their admirable behaviour.
The first "and" is natural because it is linking two things that occurred one after the other. The second "and" is also fine because it is linking two things that occurred at the same time. The third "and," however, is introducing something else: your personal opinion. On top of the other conjunctions this new clause would more naturally be started in a new sentence.
I like their spirit and to watch the players doing what they love!
This one is harder to explain. It just sounds a little odd because you are joining two different themes. The first is something you like about other people. The second is something you like to do. You could smooth the difference by using a gerund for the second clause: "I like their spirit and watching the players..." This would be closer to a more natural "I like [noun] and [noun]" structure, rather than an "I like [noun] and [verb]." Or you could separate the full clauses and join them: "I like to watch the players and I like their spirit."
I wouldn't worry too much about this second one, but the first one is worth considering. If you want to write more natural English I'd suggest avoiding multiple conjunctions.
Well done for using British spellings! It was a heart warming incident. In fact the New Zealand lady stumbled and the American fell over her.
The authorities decided they should both be allowed to race in the final, but sadly the American injured her leg in the fall and is not fit to compete.
Here is an article:
Buena suerte
Hello Mariifer
I will be very pleased to help you
You wrote:
Hi! Can you proofread my paragraph about the Olympic games? Thank you smile My favourite part about the Olympic Games is that all the athletes seem to get along well, regardless of the countries they belong to. During a race, a girl from New Zealands fell and another athlete stop to help her and cheer her up and even though they got to the goal at the very end, I think we will all remember them for their admirable behaviour. I like their spirit and to watch the players doing what they love! My favourite sport to watch is, probably, synchronised swimming.
My favourite part of the Olympic Games is that all the athletes (or contestants) seem to get along very well together, regardless of the countries to which they belong. During a race, a girl from New Zealand fell and another athlete stopped to help her up. Despite this, they both got to the finishing line. I think that we will all remember them for their admirable behaiour. I like their spirit and watching the players doing what they love! Probably, my favourite sport is to watch synchronised swimming.
Great work, Mariifer! I have made a few corrections.
In British English, grammatically speaking, it is not considered correct to finish a sentence with a preposition; "regardless of the countries they belong to."
In every day conversations, people often do finish their sentences with a preposition, and it is not quite so important in informal (casual) situations but in written English it is better to learn to write it corrrectly, especially if you intend to study at a university, or appy for a job in an educational setting in the UK where the standards of written English are usually higher, eg: a college!
I hope this helps you
