Correción de estrofas 1.3
Hola comunidad SpanisDict,
Quisiera mejorar esta estrofa. Aquí les dejo una versión en español e inglés. Espero que eso les ayude. Gracias de antemano.
3 Answers
Hi Joapr. I'll answer that second question here as it is going to be a bit lengthy for the comment area.
With the tenses it all comes down to the mood you want to create. You can mix them freely in poetry of course, and the mood their combinations create will vary. For me I'd suggest the following tenses for lines 2,3,4 create the following moods / impressions.
Past / past / past: Simplest - Been and gone. All the events took place in the past and you used to look back on them.
Present / present / present: More dynamic - ongoing. Reliving the events (and perhaps even the events themselves) is still taking place and is current.
Past / past / present: More complex - troublesome. This combination gives the impression that the events were relived in the past, while still being remembered clearly in the present.
So, the mixed tenses in this last version (your original) are the most troublesome narratively, but the most complex poetically. The present / present / present is the most dynamic and current. While the past / past / past suggests that whatever occurred is over.
Which to choose is entirely up to which impression you wish to convey, and as always, interpretation is subjective, so what I read into the tense use may differ from the next reader 
I see the Spanish verbs in lines 2 and 3 are past tense while the verb in line 4 is present tense. In the English version you could stick to the present tense to retain the sense of an ongoing occurrence established by the opening line. Also you probably should not use "it" in the final line when you have been referring to plural experiences. Regardless, using "them" and "it" together the way you have doesn't work:
Every night on my bed
I relive the bad experiences
I repeat them everyday
I remember clearly how they happened
Good question worth another go around.
