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Proofread a paragraph?

Proofread a paragraph?

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Hi, I am writing about El pasado perfecto de Leonardo Padura and would appreciate your thoughts on this paragraph in terms of correct grammar!

"La primera vez que el Conde escucha a la música, él era un adolescente, y escuché con su amigo adolescente. A pesar de no sabe ninguna de las palabras (“…aquella canción de la cual no entendería una palabra”), la melodía le calmó. Padura describe su experiencia como “un acto de magia,” y para el Conde, la melodía era la bandera de sus nostalgias por un pasado donde todo fue simple y perfecto. Se ve esta representación en la estructura de la historia, después de Mario escucha a la canción, porque él recuerda momentos felices de su pasado mientras pensar sobre la canción. Así, los momentos en que él recuerda la canción son seguidos por las escenas retrospectivas por los monólogos interiores. Por ejemplo, el noche que escucha a la canción por la primera vez, él exclama que él “no longer saw the dark or gloomily overcast sky nor the image of Rafael Morín speechifying on the podium at school.” Así, en el primer ejemplo, el Conde olvida los tiempos negativos en su pasado."

English translation: "The first time that el Conde listens to the music, he was a teenager and listened with his teenage friend. Despite not knowing any of the words, the melody calmed him. Padura describes his experience as an act of magic, and for el Conde, the melody was the "flag or theme song of his nostalgia" for a past were all was simple and perfect. One sees this representation in the structure of the story, after Mario listens to the song, because he remembers happy moments of his past while thinking about the song. So, the moments in which he remembers the song are followed by "flashbacks" via streams of consciousness. For example, the night that he listened to the song for the first time, he exclaimed, "english quote here." So, in the first example, el Conde forgets the bad times in his past."

791 views
updated Dec 11, 2015
posted by dyruse
Sounds good mate - Nickelbackfan1, Dec 7, 2015
Will SD be getting a percentage from your book when it is published? - ray76, Dec 8, 2015
...very funny, ray. No book, just someone trying to learn the nuances of grammar. So what if I do it via writing analytical essays? - dyruse, Dec 8, 2015
These are all turned in and given a grade in a class, but we never get them back with corrections on our grammar mistakes... so I would like to know what I do wrong and how I can correct that in the future. - dyruse, Dec 8, 2015

1 Answer

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votes

Bumping for a response, please. Anyone?

updated Dec 8, 2015
posted by rac1