Día de los Muertos. Calavera de El Chapo
La calavera literaria es una composición en verso tradicional en México. Suelen escribirse en vísperas del Día de los Muertos
Son versos irreverentes, escritos a modo de epitafios. Suelen acompañarse de dibujos de calaveras.
Poetry written for the Day of the Dead are known as literary calaveras, and are intended to humorously criticize the living while reminding them of their mortality.
Living personalities are depicted as skeletons exhibiting recognizable traits, making them easily identifiable.
(Información tomada de Wikipedia.)
Here is an example of a written calavera of El Chapo Guzmán, Mexico's top drug kingpin.
Would you like to translate it into English?

Hints:
La calaca: Skeleton of a person. Name popularly given to the death.
Me vale: I don't care.
Mandar (a alguien) por un tubo: send so. to hell, show so. the door
Hi, Winkfish: You did a great job!
I'm not sure, but I think this may be more accurate:
"No one leaves this world without I seize him/her in the end".
"...as if he (El Chapo) were a turd, Death send him down the toilet".
But not being myself a native speaker, I'm not quite sure.
1 Answer
That's very interesting, Luis.
I'll give it a go. I did use the translator, but of course they're not 100% accurate, so it still took some thought.
Death was passing his rags among the thing of the bosses (drug lords?) when El Chapo said I'm escaping through this hole. The Reaper said I don't care if you escape from prison. No one leaves this world without seizing it in the end (holding onto life?). So it was that Death gave him the escape that he had as if he (El Chapo) were a turd he (Death) was sending down the toilet.
Am I even close??