Help with essay

Question

Can you correct this essay. I am in spanish 1.

Hola, me llama Paola. Juan González es un béisbol jugador. Yo tengo trece anos. Él tiene cuarenta y cinco años. Mi cumpleanos es el primero de Junio de dos mil dos. Su cumpleanos es el viente de octubre de diecinueve y sesenta nueve. Soy de Ohio. Mi profesión es beisbol. Su profesión es béisbol también. El es de Puerto Rico. Él juega béisbol. Soy morena y bastante alta. El es moreno y activa y atlético. Soy simpático y interesante. El es trabajadora y inteligente. Me gusta el béisbol. Porque es divertida. Juan Gonzalez le gusta el béisbol también, Porque es interesante. Nos gusta el deportes. Adios.

This is not a translation service , make an attempt yourself and we may correct it. - ray76, Oct 20, 2015

Fill out your profile so that we know your language level. - ray76, Oct 20, 2015

Answer 1

Welcome to the forum Read the excellent advice you have been given then try and rewrite it.

Your teacher wants you to revise the Spanish you have been taught and check you understand. If you write your essay perfectly only because you have copied someone else you will not learn. You do genuinely learn by your mistakes.

Ah txusta has corrected it for you. I think he may have used some structures you have not learned.

I assume you are a beginner at Spanish and fluent in English but it is so helpful if you add it to your profile so that if you ask or answer more questions it is there.

Why not try writing something else or a sentence using some advice from txusta?

Oh thank you god that we do have sensible teachers here that understand what we are trying to do on SD . Thanks mate you are a legend! - ray76, Oct 21, 2015

Answer 2

I suppose that this one of your first texts in Spanish. I want to give you some advices:

1) Adjectives in Spanish have gender and number, so if the noum is female and plural the adjective must be female and plural. Ex:Casas rojas, Barco rojo.

2) Spanish speakers use longer sentences than English people. We try to attach sentences to make the texts more fluent.

3) In Spanish the years are readed and written as common numbers not like in English: 1934: it is not diecinueve treinta y cuatro, it is mil novecientos treinta y cuatro

Hola, me llamo Paola. Juan González es un jugador de béisbol. Tengo trece años y él tiene cuarenta y cinco. Mi cumpleaños (fecha de nacimiento) es el uno de Junio de dos mil dos, y la suya el veinte de octubre de mil novecientos sesenta nueve. Soy de Ohio y me dedico al beisbol. Él también se dedica al beisbol. y es de Puerto Rico. Soy morena y bastante alta. El es moreno, activo (??¿¿) y atlético. Soy simpática e interesante. Él es trabajador e inteligente. Me gusta el béisbol, porque es divertido. A Juan Gonzalez también le gusta el béisbol porque es interesante. Nos gusta el deportes. Adios.

I want to give you same advices. -- Is correct -- the plural adviceS - is INcorrect. It can be singular or plural in Spanish but not in English. - ian-hill, Oct 20, 2015

Sorry, I wanted to write "some" not "same". Thanks - txustaboy, Oct 20, 2015

As Ian has said you give advice always singular but you can make some suggestions eg singular or plural - Mardle, Oct 20, 2015

To me we like to join sentences sounds better than attach. also read not reader though pronounced differently to present tense. - Mardle, Oct 20, 2015

Answer 3

"me llama Paola" means that someone calls you Paola.
In Spanish we don't say things like "béisbol jugador"; we say things like "jugador de béisbol".
It is interesting that you have thirteen anos.
We typically wouldn't say "diecinueve y sesenta nueve"; Google "dates in Spanish."
There are other issues too. Although this was a good first effort, you can do better by using the translator here to check your grammar and usage.
And please, please complete your profile.

That is why we want them to make an effort themselves mate , this only helps them to cheat and not to learn. - ray76, Oct 20, 2015

I agree Ray. - ian-hill, Oct 20, 2015

I don't understand. This is an English speaker who has attempted to write an essay in Spanish. That counts as making an effort, no? - jtaniel, Oct 20, 2015

Only when you see the English text, and how do you know it is an English student it could be Hungarian which would make a world of difference. try to look at the big picture mate. - ray76, Oct 21, 2015

That is why we insist on a full profile so that we may offer help to all , not just to those you deign to answer. - ray76, Oct 21, 2015

Please Jtaniel read the answer from Mardle , you may then understand that you are not helping them to learn , only to cheat.if they are of course.. - ray76, Oct 21, 2015