Si este tio vive en mi casa tiene que pagar

Question

I saw the biggest rat ever and I want to say if this guy lives in my house he has to pay rent. I have seen many such phrases in English when comes to big bugs and rats and it is hillarious. :D So I am asking how is the most natural/funny way to translate this to spanish? I can think only of .." Si este tio vive en mi casa tiene que pagar alquiler" "Si lo encuentro en mi casa - pagamos alquiler juntos" Help me Spanish guys :D How would you express yourself?

Answer 1

Suggestion: Si este bicho viviera en mi casa , tendría que pagar un buen alquiler// compartiríamos el alquiler. ( I'm not a native, await further suggestions).

Subjunctive and conditional is not needed in my opinionn.. he is not making a conteary to fact statement - Joydeep_Singh, Oct 11, 2015

Subjunctive be dammed that's a bloody humungous rat. - ray76, Oct 11, 2015

Maybe a native will pass by, Joydeep, I think it makes for the classic si type of past subjunctive, but there are many ways to skin a rat. - annierats, Oct 11, 2015

Annie, you're right on the subjunctive. This is a "condition contrary to fact" clause and even gets the subjunctive in English. - Daniela2041, Oct 12, 2015

That's what I thought, I would say it in subjunctive ' were' in Englsish, if he were to live in my house, he would, but Julian really has made a good explanation. - annierats, Oct 12, 2015

Answer 2

"Si este tio vive en mi casa tiene que pagar alquiler"

This is the most empathetic way to say it - good possibility of happening

"Si lo encuentro en mi casa - pagaremos el alquiler juntos"

Emphatic but the first clause is a little hypothetical, second clause it true

Si este bicho viviera en mi casa , tendría que pagar un buen alquiler

Subjunctive / conditional and completely hypothetical

All can be used, it´s depends on the nuance that the writer / speaker wants.

Super answer, Julian. My husband is using my computer to watch the rugby every day at the moment, hence the delay. - annierats, Oct 12, 2015

I'm guessing "bicho" is a ruder way to address the uncle than "tio"? - HackerKing, Oct 15, 2015