El Murciélago... Poem Translation...

Question

LuisCache posted a poem about a bat on my thread about the word 'murciélago': Murciélago... Now I shall remember it... I've tried to translate. As I often find with poetry, the meaning is lost in translation. I've tried to keep the original Spanish poem's sentiment and atmosphere while yet rendering a poetic rhythm in English (quizás de manera bastante cursi). I'm still not sure what the poem's really about. I like to think it might be about a vampire. The last line confuses me when the girl says she won't open it. I've decided she means the window.

Anyway, it's just for fun and practice.

El Murciélago / The Bat

En noche lóbrega, galán de incognito

Once a handsome stranger, one mournful night

Las calles sórdidas atravesó

Did wend through yeasty streets faint of light

Y bajo clásica ventana gótica

Till beneath an old gothic casement where

Templó su cítara y así cantó:

He stirred his zither, sang, declared:

"Niña purísima, de faz angelica

‘Untouched maiden of angel countenance

Que en níveas sábanas roncando estás

Sound asleep in sheets of snowy opulence

Despierta y óyeme mi canto esdrújulo

Awaken now and hear me sing thus to thee

Suspiros prófugos escucharás."

Whereby you shall know my furtive grief.’

Pero la sílfide que oyó este cántico,

Yet the spirit who heard sung this bidding

Entre las sábanas se arrebujó

Retreated deeper inside her bed of linen

Y dijo: "¡Cáspita con el murciélago!,

Murmuring, ‘Winged night visitor, how you thrill

Es un romántico, no le abro yo."

So romantic, yet shut it is and thus I’ll keep it still.’

Esta es una clásica ventana gótica! - LuisCache, Jun 24, 2015

Answer 1

First of all, she is SNORING, not very romantic, really, then she exclaims:

Y dijo: "¡Cáspita con el murciélago!

Eff off **** bat! ( or not? ) Who knows, I think this is written as a joke, myself...

Not a fan, then, eh. Well, maybe what was lost in translation has improved it. Incidentally, in my dictionary 'roncar' translates as 1) snoring or 2) sleeping... - Faldaesque, Jun 24, 2015

I had an image if her purring like a kitten as opposed to making a noise like a cement mixer, hence sleeping soundly. & is cáspita really so strong as you suggest... ? ;-) - Faldaesque, Jun 24, 2015

I have no idea Falda..Maybe she is a dozy beauty who snores charmingly? - annierats, Jun 25, 2015

Answer 2

It is a great versión, Falda! I like it too. Yes, she means the window.

There are many versions of this popular song. In this one the girl still says:

La bella sílfide que oyó su cántico

entre las sábanas se arrebujó

Y dijo: ¡Cáscaras!, es el murciélago

que anda romántico. No le abro yo

Porque si es húmeda la noche y lóbrega

me van los céfiros a constipar*,

y hasta la médula y hasta los tuétanos

si yo le abro me voy a helar.

Constipar is not the same in Spanish as to constipate in English.

Well, she would rather be warm and cosy than romantic, and who can blame her? - annierats, Jun 24, 2015

:) - LuisCache, Jun 24, 2015

Answer 3

I like it!