Hundreds of Sonnets

Question

Saludos compañeros.

Si desean leer el soneto en el blog hagan clic en el título.

Espero que lo disfruten.

OUR GRATITUD

Today I would like to give thanks for life

and today I would like to stop and think

and I would like to finish with this strife;

I would like to be decisive, not blink.

Fitting instrument I would like to be,

something with which our Lord could write his verse

and perhaps it would be too much for me

since every one of my thoughts could disperse

Everything I would like to be today

will not be contained in an act of gratitude?,

will not be contained in a simple pray?,

our Monarch allowed us to reach this latitude.

He is our life, our love, our thought, our art;

and his happiness lives in a grateful heart.

In English we would not say 'the gratitude ' Gratitude can stand alone especially if it is the heading to a poem. - ray76, Apr 29, 2015

Muchas gracias Ray. :) - crucesignatus, Apr 29, 2015

Crucesignatu, Could you post it in Spanish, too? ¿Podrás ponerlo en español tambien? - sanlee, Apr 30, 2015

Pienso que sí, aunque muchas ideas podrían cambiar. Este es el original en Inglés. - crucesignatus, Apr 30, 2015

Answer 1

Well here is some more:

and I would like to finish with/ cast off this strife;

I would like to be decisive and not blink.

Today I would like to be a useful tool,/fitting instrument

*in British English tool has various informal meanings instrument works better. useful is OK- but fitting is more elegant! *

a tool /one with which our Lord could write his verses I have amended to 'one with' as an instrument would be too long

as the more simple pencil in a school,

I am not sure what you mean by the more simple of the universes -pure or uncomplicated? You could change 'more simple to unadorned for the pencil but I assume you want to repeat the phrase

as the more simple of the universes.

Everything I would like to do today

going to be contained in an act of gratitude,

should be 'is going' perhaps will be contained

going to be contained in a simple pray,

encompassed in the way I[or we] pray the way you have phrased it, it should be prayer

our Monarch allowed us to reach this latitude.

And with a single secret that impart: I am not sure what you mean here - perhaps ;imparts or imparted the happiness lives in a grateful heart.

Gracias por las correcciones Mardle, procuraré hacer las modificaciones necesarias para que el soneto sobreviva. :) - crucesignatus, Apr 30, 2015

Compañera, he hecho nuevas correcciones, revise mi soneto nuevamente por favor. :) - crucesignatus, May 1, 2015

Answer 2

Would you like some amendments here or by PM? It is a beautiful poem. Eg first lines better - Today I would like to give thanks for life Today I would like /to pause [or to stop] and think

Selah. :) - rac1, Apr 29, 2015

Answer 3

Pienso que puede hacerlo como la compañera Sanlee en este soneto:

The Silver Astero

Gracias por la buena voluntad compañera Mardle.

Answer 4

Do you have it in Spanish?

No compañero Misterio, este es el original, tendría que traducirlo. Espero que hoy tenga el tiempo suficiente para hacerlo. Gracias por la observación. :) - crucesignatus, Apr 30, 2015

d nada - Rey_Mysterio, Apr 30, 2015

Answer 5

Mañana publicaré en mi blog la versión en Español del Soneto: Our Gratitude; pero ustedes compañeros lo pueden leer desde hoy.

Answer 6

NUESTRA GRATITUD

Hoy quiero agradecerte por la vida,

hoy quiero detenerme y meditar

y dar por culminado este luchar,

resolverlo de forma decidida.

Quiero servirte en todo, sin medida,

como materia en que versificar;

tal vez sea demasiado ambicionar,

mi utopia puede ser desvanecida.

Y todo cuanto quiero ser hoy día

está en una oración de gratitud,

nuestro Señor nos dio esa autonomía.

Él es nuestra verdad, vida y virtud,

y nuestro corazón, en su alegría,

se encuentra agradecido en plenitud.

Esta es la versión en Castellano, espero que la disfruten y les guste compañeros, ¡está recién salidita del horno! :) - crucesignatus, Apr 30, 2015