Well-written/Good sounding Spanish?

Question

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me sentences that are well-written? And not well-written?

To better understand my question, in English a not-well-written sentence doesn't necessarily have to have poor grammar, it just sounds 'corny' or 'bad'. I think this question is better directed towards native speakers, but anyone with a lot of experience in the language can help.

For an English example:

1. (not well-written): The bullet was shot very loudly and quickly, sounding like a tiger that pounced.
2. (well-written/better): The bullet fired with the ferocity of a pouncing tiger.

In 1), passive voice is used, and in general the sentence just sounds clunky. 2) is a lot more concise and conveys the same information but is better written.

I realize this is probably more advanced level Spanish (as beginner's main concern is comprehension and basic sentence forming). But I'm genuinely curious as to what this higher thought of Spanish structure looks like, and if any native or experienced speaker could help, that would be great.

It doesn't even have to be a sentence you come up with, could be a quote or passage from a Spanish speech or something with good-sounding rhetoric! I hope that makes sense? And if possible, I would appreciate an example of "bad-sounding" Spanish (like I said it doesn't have to have poor grammar or slang, it just sounds "bad" intuitively).

To sum up my question: Can anyone provide me two examples, one each of poorly-written and well-written Spanish? Similar to the English example I gave. If you need more clarification do say so! Thank you!

Creo que es una pregunta/peticion excellente y espero que muchos respond an con varios ejemplos - Hankhankali, Apr 18, 2015

Answer 1

Hello Jambooflamingo,

Welcome to the SpanishDict forum

I can give you two examples contrasting the passive form vs active form in Spanish!:

1.Mi hija ha sido picado por una medusa

= My daughter has been stung by a jellyfish!

(Written using passive voice, rarely/not often used used in Spanish!)

2.Una medusa ha picado a mi hija.

A jellyfish has stung my daughter!

(An example of better Spanish: I have written the same sentence, using the active voice!)

I may add other examples as I think of them!

I hope this helps!

Gracias, it does help! I did not know whether Spanish went by the same passive vs. active voice as English, because I know in English teachers want students to avoid passive if they can. Was not sure if it applied to Spanish, but I see now, thank you! - Jambooflamingo, Apr 17, 2015

The verb ser is always used to construct the passive voice hence ha sido picado in my example! - FELIZ77, Apr 18, 2015

De nada :) - FELIZ77, Apr 18, 2015

The passive is often used in English - by poliricians and lawyers who don't want to identify the person they are talking about. :) - ian-hill, Apr 18, 2015

Yes, Ian ...very true! It is also used to give instructions: eg: Children should not 'be given' Aspirin but Junior Paracetamol! (which is true!) - FELIZ77, Apr 18, 2015

Answer 2

Jambooflamingo:

Would you consider the following well written or better ?

The bullet was fired with the ferocity of a pouncing tiger.

Edit:

The lawyer: The blows given by this individual, were given with such ferocity that the victim's face (my client) was unrecognizable

Ian, is there any doubt of who is who here?

As a native English speaker (and going from what I've learned in schools), one should try to avoid passive voice when writing! That's why I replaced "was shot" simply with "fired." Additionally, "fired" gives you a better sense of the action than "shot." - Jambooflamingo, Apr 18, 2015

Of course, that's only when it comes to formal writing!! In conversation, nobody cares. Which is why I added in my question that this would probably be for higher-level Spanish. Similarly, it's only when you want to get into higher level English and forma - Jambooflamingo, Apr 18, 2015

formal writing that you want to even consider making your sentences "better" with active voice. But it's good to know for the future I guess! Gracias por tu comentario! - Jambooflamingo, Apr 18, 2015

The passive is often used in English - by poliricians and lawyers who don't want to identify the person they are talking about. :) - ian-hill, Apr 18, 2015

Ian, read my edit please. - chileno, Apr 18, 2015

Chileno, I would say it is well writen and correct but lacks sense ( the bullet, I mean). - annierats, Apr 18, 2015

Annie, what do you mean that the bullet lack sense?! :D - chileno, Apr 22, 2015

Answer 3

Try reading some books by good native writers!

lol - FELIZ77, Apr 22, 2015