formal informal
What part/s of the question do you change to convert from the informal to the formal?
3 Answers
Here is an example of a situation. You want someone to give you something.
Most informal.
Dame. or Dámelo.
Give it to me. (not even a question/request, it is a command so it is the most informal as it could be and you would use this mostly with close friends or children)
A little more formal.
Déme or Démelo.
You've switched the command form to the polite (usted) version of you. Still not very polite.
You could use either one with por favor (please) either preceding or following the command, almost always a good idea.
Dámelo, por favor. Démelo, por favor.
Give it to me please.
¿Me lo da, por favor?
Will you give it to me please? Now it's a question so more polite.
¿Puede dármelo, por favor?
Can you give it to me please? (you've inserted "can")
¿Podría dármelo, por favor?
Could you give it to me please? (can in conditional tense is even more polite)
¿Señor, podría dármelo, por favor?
Sir, could you give it to me please? (use Señor, Señora or Señorita to increase formality)
Señor, me gustaría si usted podriá dármelo, por favor.
Sir, I would like it if you could give it to me please.
So, there are lot's of ways of taking the same situation and making it more or less formal. Keep in mind that your tone of voice and your facial expression and body language are at least as important as the words that you use. The last sentence is probably starting to go over the top a bit, you don't want to sound like you are overdoing it.
I'm still an intermediate learner and would appreciate any feedback on the above.
By the way, in all of the above sentences where I use dármelo, these could be make slightly more formal by not referring to "it = lo" but specifically using the noun that you want given to you rather than "lo". This is the same as in Enlgish. You could point to the salt and say "Please give it to me" but it would be more polite to say "Please pass the salt." Even the verb dar=give is less formal than pasar=pass, prestar=lend, etc., but you get the idea.
Welcome to the forum. Can you add on your profile your language level? I assume you speak fluent English and are asking about Spanish, but your question does not make it clear what you are asking.
If you are starting learning Spanish it is probably the use of the third person when speaking to someone formally - a bit like 'tu' in French. Centuries ago we used it in English now some people still use a sort of formality eg Tailors asking 'Would sir like..? etc.
Try and explain more and add your language levl, and no doubt someone will answer you.
This seems to me what I would call in French a tutoyer/vouvoyer question, i.e. when to use tu/vous in France or tu/usted in Spanish-speaking countries. Well, in Europe, whether in France or Spain, 'tu' seems to be the norm in most contexts nowadays except where respect or formality are obviously appropriate, e.g. a teenager speaking to a very elderly pensioner with whom the teenager is not familiar, or at a job interview. However, in most situations that I've encountered in France and Spain, staff in shops and receptions areas will use 'tu' with you when dealing with you as an individual. They might use the vous/usted form initially (perhaps more so in France), but it's certainly not necessary to use this with them, and indeed might seem a little standoffish.
Of course, in Spain if you want to get familiar in a crowd, then perhaps you had better also acquaint yourself with 'vosotros'.
I remember when I learned tu/vous at school I got my whole knickers in a twist about it, then when I actually lived in France I soon realised how little it really matters. Everyone 'tutoye's all the time anyway.
I can't speak for other nations...
