Struggling to understand some people's Spanish?
Basically I can write and read Spanish well, I can conjugate verbs well, I know every tense. I have a huge vocab and have had plenty of conversations with natives. I live in a Spanish speaking community. One of my neighbors is very easy to understand, but she is also not very friendly toward me. I learned a lot from her but these days she seems to keep her distance from me and I am not sure why. The other ppl who live here speak much faster and are harder to understand. I can still have a conversation with them or even be friends, but not without strain and stress, because speaking Spanish is very important to me so it affects my self esteem when I make a mistake. I listen to videos online but truthfully they are either too easy or they lack scripts. The videos that I have a harder time understanding do not have the text present to help me. In my experience, no one really cares unless they want you to help them learn English, and the ppl here do not have the motive to learn English.
Ok finally my husband is a native Spanish speaker but this is the very reason he actually stopped talking to me in Spanish because I had a hard time keeping up with him esp in situations where efficiency was necessary. So I could jump and say something is wrong with me but the reality is that I have conversated with many of Mexicans who spoke no English, even in Mexico, so I can understand Spanish in general one on one but when it gets noisy or whatever, I start feeling like the ppl who live here....I want to run to my native tongue...fast.
4 Answers
This is very normal. I live in La Paz, Mexico where the people speak very fast and often do not finish their words. After seven years here I still have trouble occasionally. On the other hand people from Mexico City speak very slowly and clearly and are a joy to talk with.
Stick with it. Ask you spouse to speak in short simple sentences until you begin to figure out his manner of speaking. Sometimes reverting to English is okay but don't let him do it simply because it is easier for him.
Do you have kids? Are they learning Spanish as well? Sometimes adults have much less patience with adults trying to learn Spanish than with children.
As to your self-esteem. Forget it. You will make thousands of mistakes, some minor and some very embarrassing. Don't worry about it. Learn to laugh at yourself and learn from the mistakes.
By the way. My wife in Mexican, Her and her family speak no English. So I live in Spanish almost entirely. It is not easy but it is rewarding.
Best of luck to you.
Let me add an anecdote: When I came here in 2007 I spent every afternoon studying in one restaurant. After several weeks the owner came over and complimented me on my progress. I told her I was disappointed in my progress. She then told me this: I am from Guadalajara and I moved to La Paz eight years ago. For the first five year that I lived here I thought the people where speaking something other than Spanish, it was so hard to understand them. She is a native Mexican.
Welcome to SpanishDict. I understand how you feel because I have that problem as well. My advice, just keep learning and don't stress so much over it. It will eventually come to you. I have found, when I don't worry so much about it, I can understand a little more every day. You will too. 
A veces hay que darles a las personas un respiro, pues todos tenemos cosas que hacer y tenemos que disfrutar el tiempo libre también, aún si no hacemos nada. Se llama tiempo con uno mismo, y todas las personas lo necesitamos, un espacio para estar solos.
Entiendo que quieres aprender Español y razones hay muchas pero pues tampoco puedes exigirle a la gente, por que hay gente que quiere ayudar pero también tienen sus momentos, solo no fuerces las cosas.
Sobre tu esposa, bueno, pues he escuchado algo similar, personas que fueron a estados unidos para tener más oportunidades y lo único que les interesa cuando están allá es hablar solamente Ingles, quizá por que ya no hayan necesario el hablar español o es que quieren concentrarse en solo hablar Inglés para mejorarse, ellos tendrán sus razones.
I can really feel for you because I have struggled with some of the same issues you have although it seems from what you say that your Spanish is more advanced than mine. 
I can also conjugate most of the verb tenses (using Barron's 501 verbs as a basis) I can conjugate and use 10 of the 14 tenses apart from the imperative although I struggle with the imperative at times because it is not in my nature to give people commands /orders lol in daily living (perhaps I am too polite lol) I can also have/mantain conversations with natives but struggle to understand when they speak too fast or when there is too much distracting noise around!.
Do you have regular/frequent access to a computer? If so, these following three suggestions may help you!
1.Have you tried using the Yabla website, which used to be called LoMás TV and includes many videos of natives from various parts of the Spanish speaking world talking about aspects of their daily lives? I know that these videos used to include text both in Spanish and translations in English which you could hide or have running at the same time as the video to help you. The videos are graded to show their complexity from 1/2* for beginners to 5 * for more advanced speakers!
2.Another thing you could do is to take Spanish classes on Skype if you have access to a computer (or have a smart phone. ) A native teacher can help to encourage you, help you by speaking more slowly to adapt to your level of understanding and enable you to make good progress in a short time.
I have been taking 1:1 (individual) classes since April this year with a native teacher from Spain through a Spanish school called SpanishSkype.org. I can highly recommend it, because she is a lovely, patient teacher, with a very encouraging attitude. The lessons are very reasonable for just $18 = about £11 for almost 1 hour (55mins) per leson or cheaper if you wish to book several at one time. Here is a link to the website: enter link description here
3.You could also post a request in the Questions and Answers section asking if any native would be interested in helping you with your Spanish in exchange for help with their English. These language exchange partnerships are usually very effective and beneficial for both partners!
I hope this helps
