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I feel like I did awfully

I feel like I did awfully

6
votes

Can you guys look this over. I already submitted it for grading (because I can't have others look at it before) but I feel like I did a poor job on it, but I can't pinpoint it. So, if a few of you are willing to go through it and tell me what's wrong, I would be grateful. smile The english is there for my classmates, not for you. smile

En enero, fui con mis dos hermanas a campamento por cuatro días. Era mucho frío, y nieve, tan dentro de edificios, todo el mundo botas fueron mojado (wet). Porque era frío, mucho tiempo gastó (spent) dentro de el comedor (dining hall).

Tenía ir a abajo (downstairs), y caminé a las escaleras (stairs), pasar el adolescente, quien conocido para ello burla y ser gracioso. Fue de pie cerca las escaleras.

Como era caminaba abajo las escaleraas (down the stairs), mis pies majado resbalé (slipped) y caí abajo para aproximadamente diez escaleras, y Isaac miró caía. Preguntó si está bien, y dije era está bien. Levanté, y caminé lejos. Cuándo no miromelo, comencé saltaba (hopping) en mi pierna bien, y frotaba (rubbing) mi pierna dolor. ¡Qué vergüenza!

And in case you are wondering, yes, that really did happen to me. :/

1829 views
updated May 3, 2014
edited by actorgirl
posted by actorgirl
First off, I would suggest moving the category to "Proofreading" :) - 00ffada9, May 1, 2014
oh yeah. thanks :) - actorgirl, May 1, 2014
I probably am not at a level where I can correct it completely, but there are points at which I cannot figure out exactly what you are trying to convey. I think putting the English version would help anyone who tries to help you. :) - bosquederoble, May 1, 2014
:) Actorgirl you can't "do awful" - awful is an adjective and it is not possible to do any of them. :) - ian-hill, May 1, 2014
actually Ian, I am able to do adjectives ;) - actorgirl, May 1, 2014
I'm sure you did fine, amiga. :) - rac1, May 1, 2014
aww. thanks Annie :) - actorgirl, May 1, 2014
"I did awfully" is what is correct. - ian-hill, May 2, 2014
Adjectives modify nouns - Adverbs (awfully) modify verbs - "do" - ian-hill, May 2, 2014
yes Ian is correct .. it should either be "I did awfully" or "I did an awful job" - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014

7 Answers

3
votes

This is the way I would say it, I hope it helps.

En enero, fui con mis dos hermanas a campamento por cuatro días. You can say "de campamento por cuatro días" or "a acampar por cuatro días".

Era mucho frío, y nieve, tan dentro de edificios, todo el mundo botas fueron mojado (wet). Porque era frío, mucho tiempo gastó (spent) dentro de el comedor (dining hall).
I didn't understand what you wanted to say but: Hacía mucho frío y estaba nevando.You can say: las botas de todos fueron mojadas, but that doesn't sound natural so I'd say: a todo el mundo se le mojaron las botas.
Debido a que hacía frío, pasamos mucho tiempo dentro del comedor.

Tenía ir a abajo (downstairs), y caminé a las escaleras (stairs), pasar el adolescente, quien conocido para ello burla y ser gracioso. Fue de pie cerca las escaleras.

I'm guessing you wanted to say this: Tenía que ir abajo, asi que caminé hacia las escaleras. Pasé junto a un adolescente, quien es conocido por ser burlón y gracioso. Él estaba parado cerca de las escaleras.
(I had to go downstairs, so I went to the stairs. I passed by a teenager, who is known for being mocker and funny. He was standing near the stairs.)


Como era caminaba abajo las escaleraas (down the stairs), mis pies majado resbalé (slipped) y caí abajo para aproximadamente diez escaleras, y Isaac miró caía.

Bajé las escaleras y como mis pies estaban mojados, me resbalé y caí aproximadamente diez escalones, Isaac me miraba mientras caía. (No creo que hayas caido dieza escaleras eso sería muy doloroso, quizás caiste diez escalones? raspberry)

Preguntó si está bien, y dije era está bien.

Me preguntó si estaba bien, y le dije que estaba bien. (Para no repetir "estaba bien" I'd say: me preguntó si me había lastimado, y le dije que estaba bien)


Levanté, y caminé lejos. Cuándo no miromelo, comencé saltaba (hopping) en mi pierna bien, y frotaba (rubbing) mi pierna dolor. ¡Qué vergüenza!


Me levanté y caminé lejos. Cuando nadie me estaba mirando, comencé a saltar mientras frotaba la pierna que me dolía. ¡Qué vergüenza!

updated May 1, 2014
edited by aileribel
posted by aileribel
:) - rac1, May 1, 2014
Very nice. :) - bosquederoble, May 1, 2014
Super job. - annierats, May 1, 2014
2
votes

First, don't feel bad about doing awful, doing awful is part of learning.

something I noticed: when you wrote "Tenía ir abajo" I wasn't sure if you meant "I had to go down stairs" or "I had gone down stairs". In either case the better way to say both would be

I had to go down stairs = Tuve que ir abajo

I had gone down stairs = Había ido abajo.

updated May 2, 2014
edited by deedeegill72
posted by deedeegill72
It was supposed to be *I had to go downstairs* Thank you for the encouragement. :) - actorgirl, May 1, 2014
Tener que is the construction meaning I had to so: Tuve que ir abajo = I had to go downstairs - FELIZ77, May 1, 2014
thanks. - actorgirl, May 1, 2014
yes deedeegill is right .. nothing to feel bad about ..we are all here to learn and help each other - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014
1
vote

There are many errors .. for example it should be "hizo frío" or "hacía frío" ... in spanish the verb "to be" ser or estar is/are not used to tell about climate .. hacer is used instead ,, for example .. hace sol, hace viento, hace calor, hace frío etc.

When do you need to submit thisv?? As I am busy right now so may be I can try helping u out later.. let me know if u need my help .. bye..

updated May 2, 2014
posted by 00b055e0
yes but you can use estar with adjectives to indicate climatic conditions.. like estaba nublado - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014
1
vote

I am nowhere near an expert on Spanish Grammar, so I'll abstain from correcting anything on that. But I think I've found a couple of misspellings.

Miromelo

Caninaba

Are these 2 words misspelled, or is that my limited knowledge of Spanish?

updated May 1, 2014
posted by 00ffada9
supposed to be caMinaba - actorgirl, May 1, 2014
For “Cuándo no miromelo, comencé saltaba” I would write: “Mientras no me miraba, comencé a saltar” but I cannot claim I am correct. I think "no miromelo" was intended to be "no me lo miró". :) - bosquederoble, May 1, 2014
0
votes

Ok next sentence : Porque era frío, mucho tiempo gastó (spent) dentro de el comedor (dining hall).

Correct version : como hacía mucho frío, (yo) pasé mucho tiempo adentro del comedor.

Gastar is not a temporal verb and is used mostly to denote spending of money (not of time) ,, and also .. porque is a conjunction which acts as a link between to sentences/clauses/phrases (as que does) so ideally it should not be used to begin the sentence ...

updated May 3, 2014
posted by 00b055e0
typo error: two* - 00b055e0, May 3, 2014
0
votes

Now next paragraph :Tenía ir a abajo (downstairs), y caminé a las escaleras (stairs), pasar el adolescente, quien conocido para ello burla y ser gracioso. Fue de pie cerca las escaleras.

Correct one : tenía que ir abajo y por eso bajé(por) la escalera y me encontré con un adolescente/muchacho/chico/joven quién (or que) fue muy conocido para ser chistoso, gracioso y burlesco. Me acerqué a las escaleras (I went near the stairs ).. (and there is no need to say "a pie" because it is obvious ,, as you would obviously not take a taxi or a bus inside a house... you can use a pie to specify ur mode of transportation outdoors)

updated May 2, 2014
posted by 00b055e0
and I cant understand the last paragraph properly .. please provide the English translation - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014
so I could try to help further - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014
and even if u moght not need my help (if u might have already submitted your assignment) even then I still request u to provide the English version for the last paragraph ,, as I want read the climax and see what actually happenned with u (as u mentioned) - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014
might* - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014
later - actorgirl, May 2, 2014
leave it .. there is no need - 00b055e0, May 2, 2014
0
votes

Todo el mundo botas fueron mojado .. is incorrect and funny .... u can say .. las botas de todo (or todo el mundo) estaban mojadas debido a demasiadas lluvia y nieve ( era is the imperfect conjugation for ser and u cant use ser for such temporary situations unless u may have wanted to state that the shoes or boots got wet forever or for a considerably long period of time .. so use estar and change the sentence construction) .. and you need to use the preposition de to express possession .. it seems so that u again literally translated the english "every ones' boots" to spanish "todo el mundo botas" (which doesnt make any sense in Spanish) .. notice that in the English sentence there is an apostrophe at the end of "every ones "(which does the job of indicating the possession) but as we dont have that apostrophe in Spanish so we need to use the preposition de (meaning of) .. (I am sorry I am having to help u in installments as I am caught up in some exigency here ...

Ok see u later .. bye

updated May 2, 2014
edited by 00b055e0
posted by 00b055e0