Why don't Hispanics like to speak Spanish with me?
I have been learning Spanish for a couple of years and am low-mid intermediate. I've read numerous articles/posts saying don't be afraid to go out and speak the language with others. I live in Los Angeles County, where many people speak it. However when I try, I get shot down. They have said, "Next time, just speak English", or "What?"(rudely), or "I think we both speak English better. Let's do that instead."
Do they think that I am being ridiculous, or have no business learning their mother tongue? Is there pride, or a cultural issue that I am unaware of? How good do I have to get before I'm accepted? Maybe my approach has been wrong because usually I just start speaking it and I never realized there would be an issue with that. When people aren't fluent in English and talk to me anyway, I feel proud of them that they care enough to learn my language. Why isn't it the same the other way around? This has made me afraid to go out there and keep trying.
15 Answers
This does not seem like a cultural thing to me, but just a matter of rude low-life people. Unfortunately, these kinds of people are far too numerous and can be found in any culture. I suggest you continue seeking people to converse with in Spanish, but you have to choose carefully.
I can only guess as I do not know anything about the people you are trying to talk to. Are they adults or teenagers? Do you try to talk as part of a group or individually? There are many dynamics that can effect people's willingness to engage in conversation.
I suggest you consider all of these things when trying to talk with someone. If you can talk privately, in English, with one or two people that you feel might be the most receptive to you. Tell them that you want to learn to speak Spanish better but need someone to practice with and to help you learn and improve. In other words look for a mentor or two.
This might or might not bring results. If it does and your mentor gets comfortable speaking Spanish with you, your mentor may help you enter into conversations with others that he/she knows.
Another technique is to start in English and ask a question about something that someone said in Spanish. Again tell them you are trying to learn Spanish and that you did not understand and ask them to explain it to you. Ask only one question each time. Spend 95% of the time just listening. Once they realize that you are serious and have a confused look on your face they will usually help, little by little.
All bets are off if you are trying to break into a school peer group and you are viewed as an outsider. Also busy adults will not want to take time to explain things.
One last technique that I used a lot at first, and fortunately do not have to use any more is when talking to someone in Spanish and they answer in English you answer back in Spanish. After a few sentences they will either walk away or speak Spanish with you.
As your Spanish improves it gets easier to talk to strangers in Spanish. But remember...baby steps. Spend a lot of time listening. Hear the sentence structures, learn the vocabulary. and gradually speak and ask questions.
I am lucky in that most of the people I meet and speak with do not speak anything but Spanish. If they do speak English I help them with their English and compliment their abilities but I stick to speaking Spanish.
Good luck.
Look, I don't want to offend anyone, but the majority of Americans I've met in my life believe that the Spanish is wearing a big hat, eating tacos and walk through life singing mariachis.
^See what I did there? I am generalising, just like you.
Just because you've met some Hispanics who didn't want to speak Spanish with you doesn't mean they're all the same. I believe that some of them may take it as an offense, because let's be real, what I said at the beggining is true with some people, I believe that some Hispanics may think that you are mocking them.
I'd suggest that if you are going to start speaking Spanish first let them know that you are learning and you want to practice.
Again, I don't want to offend anyone, sorry if I did. Feel free to correct my English.
I know im replying to this post quite later after you posted it but i have had similar experiences to you.
Im British, but of mixed South Asian heritage and I visited Los Angeles in August 2014 for 2 weeks. Im also a student of Spanish at university and after studying it for like 6 years im nearly fluent and my accent is almost native (one of my strengths in Spanish).
At the apartment I stayed in I tried speaking in Spanish with 2 of the housekeeping ladies as I heard them speaking. Their faces went totally blank haha and they really didn't want to speak to me, i explained that I was studying Spanish and that i was staying at the apartments etc but they were incredibly cold and only responded, "si hablamos español y somos de puebla". I guess some people dont like the idea of outsiders understanding and speaking their lingo as they want their culture/heritage to remain inclusive only to their cultural group.
But this was the only bad experience i have had of speaking spanish in LA. I was on the metro travelling to union station one afternoon and these 2 ladies who were much older than me (im 19) clearly needed to sit down. I asked them in spanish if they wanted to sit down (i felt it was okay to approach them in spanish as they were speaking it) and they were really friendly and we chatted for a while in spanish. On my way back to London going to LAX the taxi driver clearly had difficulty speaking in english so we spoke in spanish and he was not offended at all. Also, a lot of people only expect caucasian/white people to learn languages and are shocked that I am a non-white westerner who speaks spanish.
Then again, i am quite selective of who i address in spanish, generally people who i can tell speak spanish as their mother tongue and have difficulty speaking English. I wear the hijab and it is super irritating when people think I can speak Arabic just because I am muslim. English is my first language and mother tongue and i dont even speak a word of Arabic. A lot of Americans of hispanic descent probably feel this way when it comes to being judged on appearance and people practising their spanish with them.
Maybe start speaking in English to people then ask them what culture they are from and then ask if they dont mind speaking to you in Spanish. A rule of thumb is to not make assumptions and always be sure and ask beforehand if you arent sure. People can get a lot of complexes based on assumptions to do with race/culture/language.
I like the let's help someone approach. What I mean is that it's always better and more rewarding to approach things from the What Can I do To help? perspective. For instance Ask yourself Who around me would need my help, and who also speak Spanish only? I have a couple of ideas 1.- A Charity organization that helps Spanish speaking individuals maybe? 2.- A group of people who is trying / need to learn the languages you know who you could help? here it could be English speaker who need to learn Spanish and/or Spanish speaker who need to learn English.
Note: It derives from an identity issue caused in part due to the fact that In California and other states with a great immigrant population, there are many individuals who were born in the States and naturally look like they speak spanish, but they really don't, and get offended because they may think that you are treating them like foreigners and /or you are trying to put them down.
Here is the thing, they receive double pressure because Spanish speakers treat them rude for not "speaking their native language". And american people who treat them like they are not americans because of the way they look. I hope I didn't confuse things neither have offended anyone here.
No es importante donde está en el mundo, los hablantes no nativos de inglés pensan que es hablante usted y queieren hablar inglés con usted. No se porque saben que es un hablante nativo de inglés (mismo si no le han oído hablar), possiblemente ropa, cara et cetera. A veces nosotros han pretendido, yo y mi esposa, la ignorancia de estes intentos de charlar en inglés, por ejemplo, hablamos en escocés rural fuerte o utilizar otro idioma de inglés poco conocido que no se entiende bien. Sin embargo si es seguro que habla inglés y lo hablan mejor que habla español / francés / poco importa, comprendo porque prefieren inglés – porque debría estar más dificil communicar. Todaviá ya no he intentido hablar español con ningún, pero con mi francés las conversaciones más útiles, gratificantes y agradbles son estas con personas no hablantes de inglés, y como eso nosotros tenemos que hablar en la lengua común.
Wherever you go in the world non-native English speakers will assume you're an English-speaker & speak English to you. I'm not sure what tips them off to the fact that you're (one is) a native-English speaker (even if they haven't yet overheard you speak), perhaps style of attire, complexion etc. Occasionally my wife & I have feigned ignorance of attempts to engage us in English, e.g. by speaking in Broad scots or using other regional or colloquial English idioms that they wouldn't understand. That said, if a someone definitely knows you speak English & their English is better than your Spanish/French/whatever, then I can see the sense in their preference for English - why make communication any more difficult than need be, after all. I haven't yet tried speaking Spanish with anyone else yet, but with French by far the most useful, rewarding & enjoyable conversations that I've had have been with people who couldn't speak any English, thus both of you are forced to speak in the shared common language.
I live in LA, actually North Orange County. That is where I learned Spanish, so I know exactly what you're experiencing. I could write a novel answering your question but that's usually a bad idea. Instead I will try to give a couple of suggestions that might be helpful.
First thing to mention is there are a lot of people who look like they should be Spanish speakers but in fact do not speak Spanish or are not comfortable with it. With them, if your Spanish is not very understandable, it will cause stress, or some other unpleasant reaction.
If it's someone you don't know, the best strategy is to check it out first. For instance you can ask them "do you speak Spanish", if they say "yes", you can say that "you too, can speak Spanish". If that all goes well, you can ask them what language they would prefer to speak. I have found that most of the time the answer will be "prefiero español".
It's unrealistic to think semi-strangers are going to help you with your Spanish beyond giving you an opportunity to speak it. At the same time however, I have found that once you get a little rapport going with someone the floodgates will open and soon it will be Spanish all the way with them from then on. Remember too, there's nothing wrong with letting someone show you their hard fought English language skills as well: )
Just try to be understanding with people. It's a high stress world we live in, and it's hard for a lot of people to open up and be friendly. You sort of have to lead the way, but in the end it's more than worth it.
Hola. My lengua materna es el español (castellano) me tomare la libertad de tutearte y hablate en español. No se por que pero me da la impresion de que lo prefieres.
Siento mucho que hayas coincidido con gente que te haya dado esa mala impresion sobre los hispanoparlantes. Por lo que he leido y he entendido , en la mayoría de los casos has topado con gente que era bulingue, o eso decian ellos. Las unicas razones que se me ocurren por las que no quisieran hablar contigo en Español son; o bien porque no lo dominan o porque les exige mas esfuerzo hablar en español que en ingles y esto les genera mayor estres y menos soltura en sus comentarios..
Desde mi experiencia te dire que las poquisimas veces que ha venido un extranjero que supiera español y quisiera practicarlo conmigo y mis amigos hemos estado encantados de hablar con el en español y lo hemos pasado francamente bien, sobretodo porque el se ha llevado el trabajo mas pesado. Y cuando ha venido alguien que solo sabe ingles o aleman .o cualquier otra lengua la experiencia no ha sido tan buena porque debido a nuestro limitado ingles no podiamos expresar todo lo que se nos pasaba por la cabeza,
Sigue intentandolo, estoy seguro que mas temprano que tarde encontraras mucha gente que te hable en español.
Un cordial saludo
(No he puesto acentos porque estoy contestandote desde el movil, lo siento)
It's been suggested that Spanish isn't really like English in that it's not filled with non-native speakers. So it may sound weird to native speakers, hearing a thick accent.
I am mistaken for Puerto Rican CONSTANTLY, and it makes me afraid to try because of the reactions I may get: "Why is your Spanish so bad?" I can just hear it now. So I'm sort of coming at it from a different angle than you likely are.
I tend to think of other languages besides English as not being so open, and non-native speakers having a hard time being involved with them. Maybe this is a bad comparison, and I hope I don't offend anyone, but I sometimes think of it as being like Christianity vs Judaism. Judaism doesn't encourage lots of converts, and it takes a lot to be in that religion if you weren't born into it, and the person has to sincerely want it.
I think maybe people who sincerely want the language and really apply themselves to mastering verb conjugations, pronunciation, and everything else...will have better results than people who rattle on with subpar Spanish and make no effort to improve. I heard two women yesterday, obviously native English speakers, speaking pretty bad Spanish.
In my head I made fun of them (as if I have any right), but unlike me, at least they're trying.
I would love to find other non-native speakers to practice with because it would take a lot of pressure off. Maybe you could find someone here in this community to practice with over Skype. That way your level could get good enough that native speakers wouldn't reject conversation.
On some level I can see how it would be tiresome to speak a language that the other person doesn't speak that well when both people speak another language fluently.
Another idea might be to find a native Spanish speaker who is learning English, and help each other.
I actually have had this happen to me quite a bit and my Spanish is relatively advanced. There can be varying reasons. In restaurants and stores, if the person has moved things along with you better in English, they are just business ppl so they do not care. If I can I tend to order in English just because I speak Spanish better in relaxed, non-stressful situations where I feel comfortable with the person. I have a neighbor who purposefully speaks to me in English even when everyone else speaks to me in Spanish. In general, she is regarded as something I cannot say, because she is very rude and she loves showing off that she can hold a convo in English. She is a very insulting person either way around. My husband does this to me a lot and it is annoying. He says he has gotten used to speaking English to me. He tries to switch over when we are in relaxed, unstressful situations. I honestly think he too likes to show off his ability to speak English to his wife and assimilate into American culture.
The good news is that there are lots of ppl who do not speak English and many who do not speak enough to feel confident talking to you in English if they know you can speak Spanish. I am surrounded by them. Those Hispanics you deal with may not understand your need or drive to learn Spanish because for all they know, everyone needs to learn English. Also they might take it as an insult to their English unless you explain your reasons. Even my mean neighbor switched over for me when I told her I needed to practice my Spanish. She just added in how she forgets because well she said "es que YO hablo los dos." Even Hispanics in hs did this to me, and even with simple phrases that everyone understands.
You can fight it or you can keep on looking. If you meet someone who would love to learn English I would suggest you do that under the strict condition that he or she gives you an equal opportunity to learn Spanish.
Some ppl will jump on the band wagon when they see you make a huge come up in your Spanish. The more my husband sees our three year old speaking Spanish, the more motivated he is to speak to both of us in Spanish.
I have also met ppl who know no English who would rather stay away or avoid talking than to have to slow down or be considerate in how they speak. This has also been my husband although he does know plenty of English. Talking slowly is just not for him. So if you want him to speak Spanish you have to really be paying attention to what he says the first time it comes out of his mouth. Efficiency is the name of his game in all things and if he has to say something several times at snail's pace he gets impatient.
Rudeness has no borders or nationality. I live in the UK and Australia.
Join another group.
As I don't live in Los Angeles I am not sure of what groups there are to join there. I live in Sydney, Australia and belong to two meetup groups that I occasionally attend. Most of the native Spanish speakers I have met are very helpful. I did once meet a native Spanish speaker who was rude, but hey, there are people like that all over the world.
Great question! Unfortunately, I have no idea of the answer.
The desire to practise the Spanish you have learnt so far is admirable, Suki, and friendly Hispanic people will commend you for this! 
Most of the Hispanic / Spanish speaking people from around the world: from Spain, and South and Central America are lovely, sincere, open, friendly and hospitable people who, if they are not busy are usually more than happy to help you and to encourage you in learning their native language.(or mother tongue) There will always be people in every culture and country who are atypical and act in a way of which others from their race would be ashamed! Please do not be discouraged but keep seeking opportunities to practise your Spanish, but just be wise as to how you do it! 
I have not met the Spanish people you refer to nor have I watched your approach to them in asking for their help.
They may quite possibly be uneducated, rude and disagreeable people, but please allow me to offer you some tips based on my obsersations and experiences of speaking with people form other cultures, including native Spanish people!
1 Strangers: Avoid approaching total strangers in the street, to practise your Spanish /ask for help with your Spanish, unless you are lost and in need of directions...or there is an emergency! (eg accident, fire etc...)
2 Busy lives: When people are (very) busy they can appear much more brusque (brutal) and direct in their manner and less patient with others than usual, probably due to having to work under pressure of time and being concerned about many things/having lots of things on their mind!
3 Signalling acceptance into a group: If you are thinking about approaching a small group of people, (probably best to avoid larger groups of more than 5 people unless you are very confident ) first, take time to observe/watch their body language carefully ...if they are standing close to each other ..even shoulder to shoulder , or begin to stand closer to the others in a group when they see a stranger approaching (you or anyone else) it is likely, from their body language that they are signallung 'we do not want you or anyone else to join our group' but please don't take this personally! Just look elsewhere!
4.Personal space: Every culture has differences in what is considered an acceptable distance to stand from someone and what gestures are considered acceptable and unaccaptable, and sometimes innocent gestures that we take for granted in our own culture like the 'thumbs up' sign can be construed as rude in a different culture!
5 Ask someone. Always ask someone first if they would be willing to allow you to practise your Spanish (or any language) with them, never assume that they would and then just start talking! This can be considered rude and disrespectful. First, explain that you are learning their language and would appreciate any help they can give you.
Ex: Disculpa, señora/señor, aprendo español, ¿Podría Ud ayudarme con aprender español, por favor? Apreciaría mucho la oportunidad practicarlo con Ud.
= Excuse me, Madam, / sir, I am learning Spanish. Could you help me with learning Spanish, please? I would really appreciate the opportunity to practise my Spanish with you.
Don't be discouraged when they correct you, for we can all learn from our mistakes However, if you sense their manner is one that is putting you down and making you feel small, thank them and then quickly move on to find someone more suitable!
5 Fear of prejudice: You need to be aware that some hispanic people in some communities may hide their language and cultural background from outsiders (gringos) I remember reading about this issue a few years ago on this site and being quite perplexed as to why they would want to deny their cultural heritage. It seems that sometimes, when a small number/a minority of hispanic people (and from some other cultures, too) have recently settled in a new environment, they can feel threatened by perceived or actual, negative local attitudes towards them. I believe that this may have happened many years ago when the first hispanic settlers came to live in California. People who feel threatened may pretend they cannot speak their native language/mother tongue with outsiders and some may not even speak it in the security of their own home!
What you can do:
1 Find a native on this site with whom you can practise your Spanish!
Ask on this site if any Spanish-speaking native would be willing to help you improve your Spanish in exchange for you helping them with their English. Neither of you are giving actual lessons or classes so don't worry about your actual ability ..you are just informally offering some help and guidance. Once you find someone, just exchange Skype details and you can start talking as soon as you are both ready!
2Take up Spanish classes with a native Spanish-speaking teacher. There are many great native Spanish teachers out there, all of whom, I am sure would be willing to help you to improve your Spanish. I take classes once a week with one of these schools!
I can recommend : 1.SpanishSkype.org 2 Verbal Planet 3 La Aventura Española 4 Verbling ..this is also an online school which operates from here I think it is called Verbling, who were offering a 20% discount on their introductory classes, Prices vary considerably but all the teachers are natives and friendly !
I hope this helps
First things first. You didn't do anything wrong, at all. You had the misfortune of running into some very rude people. Not at all your fault so don't put yourself down.
Next, there will always be rude people, that's unavoidable. The only real solution is to develop thick skin and accept that it's going to happen.
Let me share some of the things I did to engage Spanish speakers and stay "safe" while conversing.
Identify situations you can use your Spanish in and prepare the Spanish you need in advance. You can even write it down to review right before you use it.
Here are a few scenarios I used:
I used to see pregnant women on a somewhat regular basis, so I learned how ask some basic questions...when are you due, how many months are you, do you want a boy or a girl, are you a first time mother. Stuff like that. I also learned the answers to those questions so when the opportunity came up, I was ready. The conversations were short, great practice and gave me a lot of confidence.
If I found a McDonald's, restaurant, food truck etc, that had Spanish speakers working there I would learn how to order in Spanish in advance to be ready when I went back. I made it a point to find and visit these places.
I talked to random mothers in the store or on the street about their kids; how the child reminded me of mine, asking them how old their kids are, telling them how pretty or handsome the kids are etc.
I'm sure you get the idea. Think about common situations that occur on a regular basis and prepare to take advantage of the situation when it occurs. I used any and every excuse possible to start a conversation. This technique helps keep the conversation short, sweet and to the point , which is easier on everyone. As your skills grow you can start having longer and longer conversations.
I also made it a point to visit places where there were either no English speakers or their English was very poor. Restaurants worked well for me. I'd say 98% of the wait staff I talked to were very helpful.
Here are some more things I've observed/learned.
When you're talking to people, you generally aren't going to get explanations or help. It's a conversation, not a Spanish lesson. Learn how to get the gist of things, write down what you didn't understand and look it up later.
In the beginning I used to ask for permission to practice my Spanish with someone, but after I hit the intermediate stage I realized no one owns the Spanish language, so you, me, and whoever else are free to speak it whenever and where ever we want, regardless of how good or bad your Spanish is. I decided I was going to speak Spanish whenever I wanted to, with whoever I wanted to and I wasn't going to ask for permission. Best decision I ever made.
I've had numerous conversations where I spoke Spanish and they kept speaking in English. That just happened to me about 2 weeks ago in fact. If the communication is going well, just go with it. They are as free to speak in English as you are to speak in Spanish. Don't let anyone derail you, just keep the Spanish flowing.
Start your conversations in Spanish. I think it's critical that your "first contact" be in Spanish. In my experiences (yours may be different), the first words that come out of your mouth often establish the language you'll be communicating in. If you start out in English it can be hard to get them to switch to Spanish.
Sometimes you just need to be persistent with your Spanish. I've had people start talking to me in English but I kept speaking in Spanish and they eventually started speaking in Spanish as well.
As your Spanish gets better this reluctance people have to speak to you in Spanish will fade, so keep working hard on improving your Spanish and your accent.
But seriously, just ignore the idiots and keep on doing what you're doing. Don't let these fools stop you from achieving your goals.!!!
