Riddles about dogs
Does anyone know a riddle in spanish or english about dogs?
5 Answers
TO: GOD, FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
The litter box is not a cookie jar.
The sofa is not a ”face towel.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello."
I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house—not after.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my jewels back?
A man brought his dog to the vet after being hit by a car. The vet told him "there is nothing I can do, sorry but your dog is dead".
The man said "NO he can't be dead you have to do something more".
So the vet brought in his Labrador and it sniffed the other dog from head to tail and then howled. The vet told him again "sorry but your dog is dead". Again the man would not accept it. So the vet brought in his cat and the cat circled the dog three times, looked at the vet and meowed.
The vet again said "sorry but your dog is dead, that will be $300".
The man said "for what, you did not do anything".
The vet explained "when I first told you your dog was dead that was free, but you wanted more so I did Lab work for $100 and then a CAT scan for $200".
Do you want a riddle or a joke?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Nothing, he won't come to you anyway.
Why did the duck talk all day?
Because he was talking to the other ducks!
Why do dogs lift their legs when they pee?
To reach the right height where cats rub their faces.
¿Por qué los perros levantan las patas cuando orinar?
Para tocar el lugar donde los gatos rascán sus caras.
