"¿Puedes darme?" or "¿Puedes traerme? (or something else) when asking permission to have something
From reading other posts, it seems that "¿Puedo tener... por favor?" is not really used as as a translation for "Can I please have...?" What should I teach my children to use when they are asking permission to have something?
For example, how would they ask... "Can I please have more ice cream?" (NOT that they're asking me to give it to them or for me bring it to them, but that they want permission to get more for themselves)
It doesn't make sense to me for them to say "¿Puedes darme mas helado?" or "¿Puedes traerme mas helado?" when they're not actually asking me to give it to them or bring it to them.
Ideas?
13 Answers
I've read a lot of good answers here already but I will put my two cents in:
I tell my nephews all the time.
¿Puedo comer más/otro helado, por favor? (Can I have more/another, please?)
¿Me puedes pasar el agua, por favor?
¿Me puedes comprar golosinas, por favor?
We teach them how to be polite. It's not necessary to be bombastic.
But, in the end,no matter what you tell them to do. Children say what they heard and they do what they see you doing.
The words por favor can be omitted in all these sentences when "poder" is used. They add extra politeness. But if you omit the conjugation of "poder", then por favor is needed. As in:
¿Me das más helado, por favor?
¿Me pasas el agua, por favor?
¿Me compras un juguete, por favor?
[Feel free to correct my English. Thank you]
Really, there are a lot of options. In my opinion, although not completely uncommon, most Spanish speakers avoid the use of the verb "poder" altogether in these situations. If a native speakers intent is politeness, they just use the usted form in the present tense. For example, "¿Me da una cerveza más?", "¿Me trae un poco más de helado?
funyuns22, you have to remember things don't translate word for word Things may seem strange to you thinking from an English speakers point of view, but in fact they are perfectly normal in Spanish .
In response to Taesar - you are right in saying that the conditional tense is used to be polite, but most native speakers would never use "querría". Instead they would use "me gustaría...." or, the imperfect subjunctive of "querer", "quisiera". "Querer" is just one of those Spanish verbs that just isn't used much (if ever) in the conditional. Also, although they always teach the conditional as a form of politeness, in reality most native speakers think of this as super polite and old fashioned. Something that you would say in a super formal setting around a bunch of people you never met, and as you saw as superiors.
I didn't read thoroughly, but here is my take on this:
"¿Puedes darme?" or "¿Puedes traerme? (or something else) when asking permission to have something
None of those are asking for permission. These are the equivalent of:
Will you bring/give me some more please?
So, like in English, you are not asking for permission.
Also, like in English "may/can I eat some more" = "puedo comer más?" it is asking for permission to eat more... that's all.
We don't really avoid the word "puedo".
The problem I see is that you guys being English, you ask for a hamburger as if you are asking for permission to have the hamburger.
Which is perfectly good also in Spanish.... Me puede traer/dar un hamburguesa?, is not asking for permission, just to please bring a hamburger.
Would any of this make any sense?
I would simply ask: ¿Puedo comer más helado? = Here I am asking permission for eating more ice cream, not asking somebody to give me or pass me the ice cream pot. If that was the case I would say: ¿Puedes/puede darme más helado? o ¿Puedes/puede traerme el helado/ tarro de helado?
If it's not clear, let me know.
Gloriange and chileno have it right!
Also:
Mamá, ¿puedo comer más helado?
Mamá, ¿puedo comerme un helado? / Mamá, ¿puedo comerme (más) helado?
I'm around Hispanic kids all the time, in home environments and out, and I've never heard them talk as weird as some of you all are suggesting. Maybe if they're asking for more ice cream from a teacher or someone like that I could agree, but when they're asking their mami for ice cream, it is not in that formal, stuffy, perfect grammar type language, I could care less what a book says.
This question is a perfect example of how many ways something can be said in Spanish. "Write" or wrong. Many answers seem correct- others not so. Usually considering economy of language and the circumstances simple is best.
This is what I hear in Mexico norte about permission:
¿ Me das permiso de salir esta noche? --¿ Puedo salir esta noche?
¿ Me dejas comer más helado?-- Déjame comer más helado,por favor
A very common question and the answer is use the conditional tense.
"Frequently, the conditional is used to express probability, possibility, wonder or conjecture, and is usually translated as would, could, must have or probably."
¿ Querría mas helado por favor?
MexGuy wrote:
"¿Mamí, quiero pedir su permiso para comer más helado? Mom, I want to I ask your permission to eat more ice cream?
Might be options/variations like "¿Puedo tener su permiso para comer más helado? or "¿Esta bien que me como mas helado mamí?"
You sound like an English speaker using a translator. In my entire life I've never heard a child say "Mom, I want to ask your permission....." but I have heard them ask about 4 billion times, and with complete respect "Mom, can I have......."
The permission is implied
Spanish speaking children almost always would say "quiero más helado" or if they want to get it for themselves, they would say something like "¿puedo agarrar más helado?" The "permission" is implied.
pescador1's comments are spot on as well.
I think this is where Spanish scores heavily, by using the subjunctive or the conditional, the question is moderated and made polite.
'' Por favor'' is not heard much in Spain, I think it's not really needed, it's already in the polite form of the verb.
I have been absolutely fascinated by this discussion on many fronts.
Firstly it has been so gratifying to see that so many people here care
about common courtesy and civility , and are aware of the nuances
in asking a simple question from a child to an adult . My ears are constantly
being assaulted by children demanding things by using terms such as ,-
I wananother , or givusmore , I long for the world which you describe .
Great stuff you are all doing an amazing job.
Dame más por favor, o, yo quiero más de lo mismo por favor.
Gracias a todos ustedes
I really appreciate your sensitivity to this question. Especially the way you used the phrase to ask for "permission". That is the difference between "can" I have, and "may" I have. From what I read into what you are asking, the respectful way to ask is "may I have permission to eat more ice cream". Like when we asked our father's permission to use the car.
So for me, I would teach them...
"¿Mamí, quiero pedir su permiso para comer más helado? Mom, I want to I ask your permission to eat more ice cream?
Might be options/variations like "¿Puedo tener su permiso para comer más helado? or "¿Esta bien que me como mas helado mamí?"
I'm not a native speaker but for me....the point is being polite and asking permission in place of "I want" or "Bring me".
Hope this is not too much syrup!
ok....another way.
Mamí, quiero un poquito más helado por favor. ¿Tengo su permiso? Sí mi chiquito(a), como no. Gracias Mamí. De nada mijo(a).
