Hi, this is my essay
The Internet is the latest in a series of technological breakthroughs in interpersonal communication, following the telegraph, telephone, radio, and television. Today as most of all know it has indisputably become one of the essential requirements that one has to have in his/her life. However, the Internet is like anything else has both positive and negative impacts. Actually, it has many positive impacts on our lives. Life has become much easier than it had been before the invention of Internet. It is used in the workplace, school, home, and everywhere. Thus, we can evolve our education through the Internet by distance learning. This new system will help in improving the societies, while most of the people get educated. Besides, through the Internet we are always able to access research information anytime and everywhere with less effort and time. Also, recently from the social networking sites we can easily and rapidly get the local and world news information, via for example Twitter.
Furthermore, the Internet has affected the social communication. While, we can communicate with our relatives or our friends via the social networking sites even if we were in different continents. Besides, we may get lots of new friendships from many places around the entire world.
Even in the minor daily life activities like shopping and buying is also related to the Internet in some way or the other. Recently, by means of Internet we can buy and sell anything with saving time and energy.
By the end, the invention of the internet has radically changed the whole world and our lives. The entire world itself has become a small village. Thereby, our societies, our education, the way we live have completely changed.
*Hi everyone this is my essay i'm here to get some suggestion, opinion and correction from you help me as you can.
THANK YOU.
1 Answer
The essay is very well written, particularly by someone who identifies themself as only intermediate in English. The final part of the essay seems to be missing from your post. I am not sure that I would consider radio, except for amateur radio and television as interpersonal communication. They are more one way types of communication but, that is a very minor observation or, as we say in colloquial English a “nit”.
In the phrase “Today as most of all know” I think commas should be used in this way, “Today, as most of us know,” (another nit). Also note that I changed “all” to “us”. And also add a comma after “the Internet is like anything else.”
“Thus, we can evolve our education through the Internet by distance learning” should be “distant learning.” Distance learning would suggest learning about distance.
Also, recently from the social networking sites we can easily and rapidly get the local and world news information, via for example Twitter. Again, add a comma after “for example.”
“Even in the minor daily life activities like shopping and buying is also related to the Internet in some way or the other. Recently, by means of Internet we can buy and sell anything with saving time and energy.” I think “Even the minor daily life activities such as shopping and buying are also related to the Internet in some way or another. Recently, by means of Internet we can buy and sell anything while saving time and energy.” would be better.
These are very minor changes to a well written piece but, I felt a responsibility to be a nit picker.
