Can you help me in my two paragraphs?
Hi, i need a help in my two paragraphs can you check the grammar and correct my two paragraphs?
My first paragraph:
In this portfolio I will write four essays with four different topics. First topic that I’m going to talk about is (freedom). I’m going to define and describe a freedom in four paragraphs. Second topic that I’m going to talk about is (My first trip to Malaysia). I’m going to write a story that's happened to me in my first trip to Malaysia. Third topic that I’m going to write about is (Restaurants in US). In addition, I’m going to classify the restaurants in US. Last topic that I’m going to talk about is (Global warming). I’m going to talk about the causes and effects of global warming, and give an example of the causes and effects of global warming.
My second paragraph:
In conclusion, in freedom essay I gave an example for some countries that doesn't have a freedom in their life. Furthermore, the second essay was about my first trip to Malaysia I talked about my trip and how I find it interesting and beautiful for me. Also, I classified the Restaurants in US in my third essay, and I found that most people in US prefer restaurant food over home cooked meals. Moreover, in my last essay I gave a solutions and suggestions of global warming.
7 Answers
Good job overall.
OK, I´ll take the first paragraph.
THE first topic that I´m going to talk about.
describe freedom in four paragraphs
THE second topic
... a story that tells what happened...
THE third topic...
Restaurants IN the U.S.
...restaurants IN the U.S.
THE last topic
... and give examples of the causes and effects
o puede simplemente decir
... and give examples.
hope that helps
In this portfolio I will write four essays with four different topics. The first topic that I’m going to talk about is (freedom). I’m going to define and describe freedom in four paragraphs. The second topic that I’m going to talk about is (my first trip to Malaysia). I’m going to write a story that happened to me during my first trip to Malaysia. (If you are not in Malaysia now, you should just use the past tense "happened".) The third topic that I’m going to write about is (restaurants in the US). In addition, I’m going to classify the restaurants in the US. The last topic that I’m going to talk about is (global warming). I’m going to talk about the causes and effects of global warming and give examples of the causes and effects of global warming.
In conclusion, in the freedom essay, I gave examples of some countries that don't allow their people to have freedom. Furthermore, the second essay was about my first trip to Malaysia. I talked about my trip and how I found it interesting and beautiful. ("To me" is unnecessary because you are already speaking from your own point of view.) Also, I classified the restaurants in the US in my third essay, and I found that most people in the US prefer restaurant food over home cooked meals. Finally, in my last essay, I gave solutions and suggestions to reduce global warming.
Good work.
I want Mr.canuckmarc to thank you for your suggestions, now i understand something new and helpful in writing skills you help me a lot and i appreciate that...
In this portfolio I will write four essays with four different topics. My first topic is about freedom. I’m going to define and describe freedom in four paragraphs. My second topic is about my first trip to Malaysia. I’m going to write a story that tells what happened to me during my first trip to Malaysia. My third topic is about Restaurants in the US. In addition, I’m going to classify the restaurants in the US. My last topic is about global warming. I’m going to talk about the causes and effects of global warming, and give examples of the causes and effects of global warming.
My attempt:
In this portfolio I will write four essays with four different topics. The first topic that I’m going to talk about is (freedom). I’m going to define and describe a freedom in four paragraphs. The second topic that I’m going to talk about is (my first trip to Malaysia). I’m going to write a story that's happened to me in my first trip to Malaysia. The third topic that I’m going to write about is (restaurants in theUS). In addition, I’m going to classify the restaurants in the US. The last topic that I’m going to talk about is (global warming). I’m going to talk about the causes and effects of global warming and give an example. of the causes and effects of global warming.
In conclusion, in the essay I gave an example for some countries that doesn't have a freedom in their life. don't have any freedoms in their lives. Furthermore, the second essay was about my first trip to Malaysia and I talked about my trip and how I find found it interesting and beautiful for me. Also, I classified the restaurants in the US in my third essay, and I found that most people in the US prefer restaurant food over home cooked meals. Finally Moreover, in my last essay I gave a solutions and suggestions of concerning global warming.
In this portfolio I will write four essays with four different topics. My first topic is about freedom. I’m going to define and describe freedom in four paragraphs. My second topic is about my first trip to Malaysia. I’m going to write a story that tells what happened to me during my first trip to Malaysia. My third topic is about Restaurants in the US. In addition, I’m going to classify the restaurants in the US. My last topic is about global warming. I’m going to talk about the causes and effects of global warming, and give examples thereof.
i like it that better now...
How about that Mr.canuckmarc..
In this portfolio I will write four essays with four different topics. My first topic is freedom. I’m going to define and describe freedom in four paragraphs. My second topic is my first trip to Malaysia. I’m going to write a story that tells what happened to me during my first trip to Malaysia. My third topic is Restaurants in the US. In addition, I’m going to classify the restaurants in the US. My last topic is global warming. I’m going to talk about the causes and effects of global warming, and give examples of the causes and effects of global warming.
I would suggest omitting the phrases "that I'm going to talk about" and "that I'm going to write about", and just say "my first topic is...", "my second topic is.." etc. They are not grammatically wrong, but those phrases are not essential for the reader's understanding, and they make the sentences longer than necessary. Also, I'm not sure why you are putting the topics in parentheses. I would leave them out.
