Proof read of Eng-Span paragraph needed!!

Question

Hi all,

I am in the process of translating a short story, I have not come across any problems so far apart from one bit.

The paragraph:

"No sooner had we stopped and got out our picnic basket than people began to arrive, apparently from nowhere. In a few minutes one man with an extremely dirty child came, with great hospitality, to ask us if we should not be more at ease if we took our lunch in his house."

My attempt at it is:

"Tan pronto como hemos parado y nos hemos llevado nuestra canasta de picnic, unas personas comenzaron a llegar inesperadamente. Dentro de minutos, un hombre con un niño sucísimo, venía llena de hospitalidad a preguntarnos si no seriamos más a gusto de comer nuestro almuerzo en su casa."

I'm very unsure about my attempt and would appreciate your feedback!

-Olivia

Answer 1

My opinion: Tan pronto como habíamos parado y sacamos nuestra canasta de picnic, unas personas comenzaron a llegar inesperadamente. Luego de unos minutos, un hombre con un niño muy sucio vinieron con mucha hospitalidad a preguntarnos si no estaríamos más a gusto comiendo nuestro almuerzo en su casa.

I am not sure, I hope someone else can help you more

Hi, I prefer your use of sacar and also your use of 'venir' in the preterite as the action is indeed a completed past action. Thanks for the help :) - 0088b3fa, Nov 27, 2012