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Could you please read and correct my description paragraph?

Could you please read and correct my description paragraph?

1
vote

Hi my name is Christina. My favorite color is purple. I am short, artistic, and dark haired. I am from Kansas. I like music. I have four brothers. My favorite food is cupcakes. I am fifteen years old.

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¡Hola! Me llamo Christina. Mi color preferido es el púrpura. Soy baja, tengo el pelo moreno, y soy artística. Soy de Kansas. Me gusta la música. Tengo cuatro hermanos. Mi comida favorita es los pastelitos. Tengo quince años.

1247 views
updated Oct 15, 2012
edited by christinahe
posted by christinahe
Hi Christinahe. Welcome to the forum! - rac1, Oct 4, 2012

1 Answer

1
vote

I would say:

¡Hola! Me llamo Christina. Mi color preferido es el púrpura. Soy baja, tengo el pelo oscuro, y soy artística. (makes more sense this way– short, dark-haired, and artistic, since you are grouping similar attributes together) Soy de Kansas. Me gusta la música. Tengo cuatro hermanos. Mi comida favorita es los pastelitos. Tengo quince años.

Very good work, over all!

updated Oct 15, 2012
edited by PumpkinCalabaza
posted by PumpkinCalabaza
Good translation, Pumpkin, but "soy morena" refers to not only dark hair but to skin tone as well, so "dark hair" needs to be specific - "pelo moreno/castaño/negro" etc - 005faa61, Oct 5, 2012
Ok cool! Thanks for letting me know about that! - PumpkinCalabaza, Oct 5, 2012