to the English speakers:)

Question

Hi,

I wonder if you could check my homework - it's not very long but I hope someone will correct my mistakes

Due to the great geological as well as historical, aesthetic, scientific and cultural values the region between A and B is designated as a protected area. The objective of it is to conserve rather than preserve. Inanimate elements of nature such as rocks, landforms and water are subject to a huge range of threats, which unless deflected or managed, will result in serious loss or damage. These threats encompass: devastation of the geologic heritage, water and soil pollution, irregular settlements, opencast mining - quarrying, the lack of environmental education and awareness. This dissertation shows problems and assess the protection of the conservation in the A and B region as well as presents resolutions that can be done in order to face challenges and threats that abovementioned region is facing.

Thank you very much- I will really appreciate that.

Answer 1

¡Hola! Madelleine:

 

Here are some suggestions for changes. I hope you like them.

 

Due to (delete---&gt the (<---delete) great geological (delete---&gt as well as (<---delete) (add comma ---&gt, historical, aesthetic, scientific and cultural values the region between A and B is designated as a protected area. The objective of it is to conserve rather than preserve. Inanimate elements of nature such as rocks, landforms and water are subject to a huge range of threats, which unless deflected or managed, will result in serious loss or damage. These threats encompass: devastation of the geologic heritage, water and soil pollution, irregular settlements, opencast mining - quarrying, (add the word "and"---&gt and the lack of environmental education and awareness. This dissertation shows problems and assesses ( <---add "es" to this word) the protection (delete "of the" and add "and"---&gt and conservation in the A and B region as well as presenting (<--- change to "presenting") resolutions that can be (change "done" to "enacted"---&gt enacted in order to face challenges and threats that (delete "abovementioned" and change to "the" as the only region referred to is the region between A and B and must be the subject of the dissertation) the region is facing.

 

May I also suggest you examine the dictionary definitions of the words "conserve" and "preserve". To me, in the context you have used them, they are hardly distinguishable from each other. In English we find there are for example, "wildlife preserves" as well as geographic "conservation areas". You may want to eliminate or change the short sentence " The objective of it is to conserve rather than preserve." Consider for example "The objective is to conserve the area's natural qualities".

 

This is a very technical paragraph. I think you have done a good job so far in developing it.

Best regards,

Moe

Thank you very much - it helped me a lot. Thanks again! - Madelleine, Sep 19, 2012