I don't understand
Traté hablar a una mujer en español hoy, pero yo fui no muy exitoso. ¡Estoy frustado! Por qué tengo tan mucho trouble hablar con alguien cuando lo sé tan mucho español.
11 Answers
Entiendo bien. (all too well)
I'll offer a few possible explanations taken from my difficult experiences, you tell me whether any fit your situation:
1.) The pace of native speaker was too fast.
2.) The vocabulary used was unfamiliar and left you dizzy
3.) The pronunciation was so different from what you're used to.. (dropping the 's', or other unfamiliar creations) that you didn't know what was up and what was down.
4.) Because it was not writing and reading (which we get a lot of practice on this site) but rather speaking (which we don't get to practice much).
What do you think are the reasons?
(I just completed Destinos, a free online resource which greatly helped me, but I'm closer to an intermediate, and would not say that I know Spanish well.) I'm curious to know, if you went to watch this program, start with episode 31 or 32, would you understand 95%?
Finally, I'm curious to know whether you asked them to speak more slowly? While humbling, learning another language, is, well... the ultimate humbling experience, no?
Traté de hablar a (con) una mujer en español hoy, pero no tenía mucho éxito. ¡Estoy frustada! ¿ Por qué es tan dificil hablar con alguien cuando ya sé hablar el español bastante bien?
Speaking with natives is usually always disaterous for me, and I've been practicing Spanish for about a year and a half now. It's like my mind goes blank.
You're not alone. 
Welcome to Spanish 101, 201. 301, etc.
Learning a new language is a process. Languages are consonants and vowels placed together to create musical pictures and thoughts in your mind. You have been solidifying those musical notes/thoughts all of your life.
Now you are asking your stubborn mind to except a new reality/sound for things it has already placed under lock and key.
There are hundreds of reasons why it is so difficult to speak.
But, don’t kid yourself. You are already bilingual.
Do you think that being bilingual is just about speaking? Sell those ideas to a deaf or mute person. Being bilingual encompasses at least one of three things….Reading, writing, or speaking. If you can do anyone of those three, than you are already bilingual.
Finally, I have been speaking Spanish for 42 years…and English even longer. I’m older than most of you.
I have a masters degree. I attended the University of Panamá, canal zone. I won the foreign language award…I’ve taught school…years ago.
I was engaged to a girl who was pregnant with my baby…from Costa Rica. Her grandfather was the "jefe" in a drug cartel. When he found out that she was pregnant, by an American gringo…he had her killed.
I vowed to never speak Spanish again. But, time heals old wounds.
I live in a city where there are less Spanish natives. None of my family members speak Spanish.
All of my Spanish speaking friends tell me that I am completely bilingual. That is not true.
There are 49 dialects in Mexico. There are 19 western hemispheres countries...and each country has a slew of dialects. Just because a person looks spanish or has a Spanish heritage doesn’t necessarily mean that they speak good Spanish. You would be surprised at the percentage numbers of those who mix dialect with Sapnish…and they don’t even know it.
But, in all fairness...we murder English. I heard someone say "jgeet yet? I was in Tn. What they were asking me ...was- Did you eat yet? Some poor foreign person is sitting in a classroom in another country, learning English...so he /she can come to the states. When he gets off the plane in Tn...he/she will be lost. LOL...
At any rate, you are doing fine. Don’t be depressed. It will happen to you. Those that you can understand probably speak better Spanish. You hang in there. You are way ahead of most.
-Viejito
One thing I use to give me some time before responding is to use one of these three:
1.) Pues....
2.) Bueno..
3.) Haber... (assuming people aren't actually saying 'a ver')
This lets me collect myself a bit, and can bring some relaxation to the exchange. If one's tense, they will not be able to speak optimally. That's is for sure.
If you are having situations, and it sounds like you are, where you are saying 'but I'm better at Spanish than this!' one of two things are probably true:
a.) either you don't have an accurate representation of your level; or
b.) you are not bringing your abilities to the table, b/c of nervousness, etc.
I have very little experience talking with native Spanish speakers, but I've found something that helps me a little bit. Sometimes I use Sound Recorder in Windows to record myself speaking Spanish. It helps me to practice using the correct vocabulary, and it allows me to also practice grammar. Then I listen to it later, and I try to find and correct my mistakes. If I'm feeling brave, I send the recording to a friend who speaks Spanish. You can even have conversations like this. Ask each other questions through the recordings, and receive the answers from each other in later recordings. It's really fun, but the point is to work up to eventually speaking live, not just in recordings. 
You've gotten some great answers, but let me say this: Please Do N O T give up!!!! It takes time, practice, and patient to master anything worthwhile. You'll get on plateaus where you feel like your stuck and not learning anything, you'll have times where it's just the thought of studying more Spanish is unbearable, and then...suddenly...you'll have a breakthrough and reach a higher level of understanding. These breakthroughs are spread over a long period of time, but I guarantee you the DO happen!
Just keep doing what you're doing. Watch movies in Spanish and listen to the radio. Read the online newspaper aloud (very hard to do, by the way) and focus on pronunciation. When you have an opportunity to speak, just DO IT, don't worry about embarrassment because we all make mistakes learning and it''s important that you accept that as part of the process.
Please don't give up. If I can learn to speak, write, and understand Spanish after age 40, so can you.
xoxoxoxo
Amigo, no te preocupes. Es lo normal, especialmente con las mujeres: tengo que decirlo en inglés, maybe she just didn'tfancy you, otherwise she would have slowed down.
I didn't really have problems with listening, because speaking alluded me. When I am writing, I have the time to think about what I am going say. When speaking, I always stumble for words and gramatical construction. I guess that this means I need more practice. The other thing is that even when I say something that I feel is correct, the other person looks at me like I am from Mars!
I will try Destinos and see where I am on that site as far as understanding. Thanks for the tips from everyone. It is just very frustrating because it seems that I can't rise above a high beginner or LOW intermediate level no matter how hard I try.
I don't know. I have that problem too.
Thanks so much to everyone for your encouraging words. I also want to thank those that have sent me personal messages. As I said to Cordabesa, you have all made me feel like I am not alone. We all struggle with the same things, and in a way we know each other more than other people that we see every day.
I love all of my friends on spanishdict.com, and I feel a true kinship with each of you. It is amazing that people of such diverse cultures and languages can meet in a place such as this and truly help each other to be better not only with Spanish, but with accepting life's setbacks and frustrations as well.
Hugs to each of you!!
Don't give up. And don't think the fault is all yours. The problem with spoken language is that there are lots of regional varieties that are even hard to understand for other native speakers. The second problem is that the accent of non-native speakers may cause confusion too until you get used to it. English as it is spoken by the average French person doesn't sound quite the same as the same language spoken by a German, and I can assure you it again widely differs from the English of an Indian or a Chinese person.
