Please Proofread this paper! As soon as possible thank you:)
Dear Financial Aid Committee:
My name is, and I am writing to submit a request to have the privilege of receiving student financial aid again. I would like to profoundly appreciate and thank the Financial Aid Department for granting me awards these past semesters in order to make my educational dreams realistic. It would be an absolute honor for me to continue my education until I obtain my degree of Bacherlor of Arts.
I take full responsibility for why my GPA and grades slipped through out these past semesters, I know it is my own fault why I am writing this letter, and asking for a second chance. Unfortunately, my grades dropped because I had to work a full time job to pay my own rent, gas, and bills, my parents income was very low to support two children in college, so I had to do it all on my own without any help. I worked several full time jobs all day then I had to come home around midnight and do my school work. I was obviously falling behind, and that is where it all began. I should have handled all of this better, and talked it out with my parents, but they were going through a rough time, and I did not wanted to be another thing they had to worry. I did not realize how much damage I was doing not only to the people around me, but to myself. I was very disappointed with myself because I know I could have done better, I am a person that If I want to accomplish something in life I will do it, and I let myself down.
I am asking this committee to give me a second chance to prove that I am capable of earning good grades and I will reward your investment in me. I have turned the corner and decided to make a huge change. I will put my school first than anything else. I talked with my parents about my whole situation, and they were so kind to offer me help with any financial situation. If I ever feel the need to work I will work a reasonable amount to take the time and dedication I need for school. I will take my time at Pima Community College very seriously and do everything it takes to consistently earn excellent grades. I will make arrangements with a tutor to help me with my school work, and help me improve my GPA. I will also manage my time more wisely so that I can balance my personal life, and studies. I will attend classes regularly, and on time, I will do my school work no matter how tired, or hard it gets. I am confident and I know I will do great.. I will not let this second chance go, and I will work extremely hard, and soon transfer to the University.
I hope that you take my letter in consideration, and grant me a second chance. I assure you I will do whatever it takes to improve my Academic progress.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
2 Answers
Lollypop, your writing is excellent!! I have made a few changes below and removed many commas.
Dear Financial Aid Committee:
My name is xxxxxx and I am writing to submit a request to have the privilege of receiving student financial aid again. I appreciate and would like to profoundly thank the Financial Aid Department for granting me awards these past semesters in order to make my educational dreams a reality.. It would be an absolute honor for me to continue my education until I obtain my Bacherlor of Arts degree.
I take full responsibility for the slip in my GPA and grades throughout these past semesters. I know it is my own fault why I am writing this letter and asking for a second chance. Unfortunately, my grades dropped because I had to work a full-time job to pay my own rent, gas, and bills. My parents' income was too low to support two children in college, so I had to do it all on my own without any help. I worked several full-time jobs all day then I had to come home around midnight and do my school work. I was obviously falling behind and that is where it all began. I should have handled all of this better and talked it out with my parents, but they were going through a rough time and I did not wanted to be another thing they had to worry about. I did not realize how much damage I was doing not only to the people around me, but to myself. I was very disappointed with myself because I know I could have done better. I am a person that If I want to accomplish something in life I will do it, but I let myself down.
I am asking this Committee to give me a second chance to prove that I am capable of earning good grades and I promise to reward your investment in me. I have turned the corner and decided to make a huge change. I will put my school first than anything else second. I spoke to my parents about my whole situation, and they were so kind to offer me help with any financial situation. If I ever feel the need to work I will work a reasonable amount but also take the time and dedication I need for school. I will take my time at Pima Community College very seriously and do everything it takes to consistently earn excellent grades. I will make arrangements with a tutor to help me with my school work, and help me improve my GPA. I will also manage my time more wisely so that I can balance my personal life and studies. I will attend classes regularly and on time, and I will do my school work no matter how tired I am or hard it gets. I am confident that I will do great.. I will not let this second chance go, and I will work extremely hard to transfer to the University.
I hope that you take my letter into consideration and grant me a second chance. I assure you I will do whatever it takes to improve my academic progress.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
In addition to Mariana's corrections, there is this: "I know it is my own fault why I am writing this letter, and asking for a second chance."
I think it should be: "I know it is my own fault. That is why I am writing this letter and asking for a second chance."
Good work!
