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Sentence stories

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I love making one sentence tell a whole story. Here is the first of my attempts to do one in español without using the translator (hopefully) very much:

El perro de caza, negro y brillante, caminó a grandes zancadas magistralmente en su patio de un manto de nieve con un hueso limpio. Estaba celosamente haciendo alarde del perro esquimal lo que estaba al otro lado de la calle.

The glossy black Hound magisterially strode around her snowy yard with a clean bone jealously flaunting it to the Husky across the street.

I don't think that it's perfect, so thanks in advance for corrections!

1293 views
updated Apr 14, 2012
edited by t1funnyface
posted by t1funnyface

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El perro de caza, negro y brillante, caminó a grandes zancadas magistralmente en su patio de un manto de nieve con un hueso limpio. Estaba celosamente haciendo alarde del perro esquimal lo que estaba al otro lado de la calle.

I'm not sure of the "...flaunting it jelously..." part. Let's see if someone else can help too.

updated Apr 14, 2012
edited by --Mariana--
posted by --Mariana--
Gracias Mariana! Sorry it took so long to correct. . .didn't see it till just now. . .:) - t1funnyface, Apr 14, 2012