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Capitán Irregular y el grito de "Cooee!" (Aventura 6)

Capitán Irregular y el grito de "Cooee!" (Aventura 6)

8
votes

Hello everyone and welcome to my Captain Irregular thread. This is the Captain's sixth "adventure". (Captain Irregular and the shout of "Cooee!" )

And did I hear you say that you have no idea who Captain Irregular is? Well let me introduce you to The Captain! link text


And so here's how this thread works. Hopefully every two or three weeks I will post a new adventure. The game? To post a sentence, both in Spanish and English about the Capitan's latest adventure. This thread is for learners of both Spanish and English.


And please don't be nervous about posting thinking that your Spanish or English is not up to scratch - jump right in with both feet! Many of us here are still taking fairy-steps (Spanish/English-wise that is) and the idea is that you "have a go" get corrected, possibly take on board something useful; but most of all have some fun!


And the rules of my thread.. No more than three sentences. Both in Spanish and English and no translators to be used under any circumstances.I will moderate any English used and our wonderful Kiwi-Girl will moderate any Spanish. And guys don't forget to vote for Kiwi-Girl in her (thank you) window!


And although it probably seems my threads are somewhat frivolous, the paths they represent in my Spanish language journey are not. To moderate a thread is hard work and time consuming for moderators. Please re-visit your post and make any corrections KIWI-GIRL has suggested.


El bosque australiano es un lugar de gran misterio y gran belleza. También es un lugar donde se necesita estar alerta. ¿Y por qué les digo eso? Seguid leyendo amigos míos...


alt text

The Australian bush is a place of great mystery and great beauty. It is also a place where you need to keep your wits about you! And why do I say such a thing? Read on my friends....


Feel free my friends to comment on the Captain's (and Bizi's) latest adventure or post a comment about the strange creatures who have taken up residence in the Captain's garden....


(Kiwi-Girl ------- thanks for those corrections. And you know - I did have "es un lugar" then after mulling over it for a bit I changed it to "está un lungar".... - and hey possum don't forget "your" window......)


3604 views
updated Jan 16, 2012
edited by nonombre
posted by nonombre
Well done Annie, just a couple of things that I notice, 'es un lugar' (not está), se necesitA, por qué les digo ;) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 13, 2012
Hey I own that book too. - gringojrf, Jan 15, 2012
¡Qué padre gringo! Es mi libro favorito para los nudos :) Es muy fácil de usar (user-friendly)... - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012

10 Answers

6
votes

Annie I'll put my comments here as there's a few je je smile

Your original text:

Cuando El Capitán regresó a casa después del fin de semana en la isla de Cockatoo, Bizi no se encontraba. El Capitán tenía que encontrar su amigo fiel.

Finalmente, después de gritar durante muchas horas largas "¡Cooee - Bizi! -- ¡Cooeeeeeee - Bizííííííííííí!" uno y otra vez, el Capitán encuentró su amgia fiel. Ella había quedado atrapado en una repisa comiendo musgo y los insectos de vez en cuando por más de un semana.

Fue mejor el Capitán se recuerdo hacer un nudo de Prusik, ¿por qué cómo puede se ha rescatado su amiga fiel?

El Capitán llevó Bizi a el veterinario y el veterinario dije, "Todo va bien pero se necesita un poquito de cariño." Al fin y al cabo todo va bien, pero cuando El Capitán y Bizi llegaron a casa hay algo muy extraño en el jardín.....

(después de) so 'después del' fin ..., no se encontraba, typo eNcontrar, tenía que (I think tuvo means he had to and he did)

Finalmente, después de gritar durante muchas horas largas ...encuentró A su amiga (no 'se' or that would mean he found himself ; Ella había quedado atrapado en una repisa. )

hmm i wonder if you could say 'comiendo el insecto ocasional de vez en cuando'? unA semana

I'd say '(Era - not sure if you'd even need this) Menos mal que el Capitán recordó cómo atar ... but there are probably quite a few ways to say 'just as well'. -

porque ¿de qué otra manera podría resucitar A su amiga fiel?

El Capitán llevó a Bizi al veterinario y el vet dijo, "Bizi está bien, pero sólo necesita un poco de atención.

Al final del día todo resultó bien, pero cuando el Capitán y Bizi llegaron a casa había algo muy extraño en el jardín...

When the Captain returned from his weekend on Cockatoo Island Bizi was nowhere to be seen. The Captain had to find his loyal friend.

Eventually, after calling out for many long hours, Cooee! Bizi! Cooeeeeeeeeeeeee! Biziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! again and again the Captain eventually found his faithful companiion. She had been stuck on a ledge, eating moss and the occasional insect for more than a week.

It was just as well the Captain remembered how to tie a Prusik knot because how else would he have rescued his dear friend?

. The Captain took Bizi to the vet and the vet said, "Bizi is okay but she just needs some TLC."

At the end of the day all turned out okay but when The Captain and Bizi arrived home there was something very strange in the garden...


All your comments much appreciated Kiwi-Girl - And to do them in their own "window" is a great idea. I'm going to write the (corrected) text out again, go back and edit the original and revise the areas you suggest smile. It's good practice as well, you know, for me to do it all in one hit - there's more of a flow about it then - great job Kiwi.

updated Jan 16, 2012
edited by nonombre
posted by Kiwi-Girl
Kiwi, your help towards Annie is awesome! She´s learning so much and is progressing by leaps and bounds. Keep going gals! - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
thanks for the encouragement Bandit ;) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 15, 2012
wow, kiwi has a window, great, voting, your corrections are awesome, buen trabajo, kiwi - 00494d19, Jan 16, 2012
really? well I guess some help is better than no help although I'm sure I'm missing some things too :( Pero gracias por tu voto de confianza :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
5
votes

Cuando El Capitán regresó a casa después del fin de semana en la isla de Cockatoo, Bizi no se encontraba. El Capitán tenía que encontrar su amigo fiel.

Finalmente, después de gritar durante muchas horas largas "¡Cooee - Bizi! -- ¡Cooeeeeeee - Bizííííííííííí!" uno y otra vez, el Capitán encuentró a su amgia fiel. Ella había quedado atrapado en una repisa comiendo musgo y el insecto ocasional de vez en cuando por más de una semana.


link text -- un enlace sobre la palabra australiano "Cooee!"


alt text


Menos mal que el Capitán recordó como atar un nudo de Prusik, porqué, ¿de qué otra manera podría resucitar a su amiga fiel?

alt text


El Capitán llevó a Bizi al veterinario y el veterinario dijo, "Bizi está bien pero sólo necesita un poco de atención." Al final del día todo resultó bien, pero cuando el Capitán y Bizi llegaron a casa había algo muy extraño en el jardín.....

alt text


When the Captain returned from his weekend on Cockatoo Island Bizi was nowhere to be seen. The Captain had to find his loyal friend.

Eventually, after calling out for many long hours, Cooee! Bizi! Cooeeeeeeeeeeeee! Biziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! again and again the Captain eventually found his faithful companiion. She had been stuck on a ledge, eating moss and the occasional insect for more than a week.

It was just as well the Captain remembered how to tie a Prusik knot because how else would he have rescued his dear friend?

. The Captain took Bizi to the vet and the vet said, "Bizi is okay but she just needs some TLC."

At the end of the day all turned out okay but when The Captain and Bizi arrived home there was something very strange in the garden...


(Kiwi-Girl - thanks so much - I'm still having the odd problem with "writing" in the comment box ....)

updated Jan 16, 2012
edited by nonombre
posted by nonombre
The picture of Bizi is sooooooo C U T E !! - territurtle, Jan 13, 2012
no worries, I've posted my suggestions below - I wonder if each thread I might suggest a couple of areas that you might like to focus on, if we just start with little things and build up I think it might be a good way to improve :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 13, 2012
Because I get to have a close look at your work fairly regularly sometimes common errors pop out at me so if you didn't mind I could highlight a couple each time and we'll gradually eradicate them je je ;) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 13, 2012
For instance, this time I'd suggest looking up a couple or articles on the personal 'a' - I'm not sure if this always works but for me if you use a verb and follow it by a name but the name isn't the person doing the action then you will need the personal - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 13, 2012
a between the verb and the name. Eg; El Capitán llevó A Bizi. because Bizi wasn't doing the taking :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 13, 2012
I continue to follow el Capitán y Bizi! Your hard work and effort is appreciated! - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
Muchas gracias bandit - eres muy amable de verdad :) - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
In proper grammar speak if the direct object of your sentence is a person or a pet you put the personal a in front of it - unless it follows the verb tener or 'hay' :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 15, 2012
Okay possum I'm actually going to write that down and "cogitate" over it :) - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
lol okely dokely :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
4
votes

El capitán y su amiga vieron un caballo blanco en el jardin , hay un mensaje

con un caballo leer, " esto caballo es un regalo por ti , para a busca por el tesoro

del rei de Katoomba, la mitad del tesoro es para ti. " El capitán era muy emocionado

porque le gustado tesoro y buscando por algo perdido y ricos, él montando el caballo

y fue en busca del tesoro.


the Captain and his friend saw a white horse in the garden , there was a message on

it , it read , " This horse is a present for you so that you can search for the treasure

of the King of Katoomba, half of the treasure is for you ." The Captain was very excited because he loved treasure and looking for things that were lost and valuable. He mounted the horse and

went in search of the treasure.alt text

updated Jan 15, 2012
edited by ray76
posted by ray76
Nice story line, Ray! The drawing-painting of the white horse is marvellous, too. - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
4
votes

The captain rode his magnificent steed through craggy mountain passes and narrow stoney tracks ,following the directions meticulously enscribed on the old parchment he found attached to the white horse in his garden.

El capitán montó su magnífico caballo a través de escarpado motaña pasos y estrecha pedregosa vías ,siguiendo direcciones meticulosamente inscribió en el viejo pergamino encontró pegado al caballo blanco en su jardín.

alt text

updated Jan 15, 2012
edited by jennyo45
posted by jennyo45
Ya he visto tu respuesta jennyo - un esfuerzo fantástico con gran vocabularios :) - nonombre, Jan 14, 2012
¿Tus palabras pueden ser las palabras iniciales de un nuevo libro no? - nonombre, Jan 14, 2012
gracias Annie ,I tried hard to keep it interesting ,I'm sure the translation leaves much to be desired. - jennyo45, Jan 14, 2012
Very descriptive words, jenny! - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
muchas gracias bandit. - jennyo45, Jan 15, 2012
Fantastico mi amiga . You did better than better mate , I am proud of you. - ray76, Jan 15, 2012
3
votes

@ Bandit

Cooee! is a cry that is used in the Australian Bush. It is used to find missing persons or to indicate one´s own location. The Captain had shouted so long and so hard that he developed laryngitis. A home remedy for hoarseness is to chew 2-3 garlic cloves for a few days. Luckily the Captain had some in his pantry. He told Bizi that he would investigate the strangers in the garden when his voice returned. So while the Captain was recuperating, Bizi went into the garden……..

¡Cooee! es un grito que está utilizado en del monte australiano. Está utilizado encontrar las personas desaparecidas o indicar la locación propia. El Capitán había gritado por tan largo tiempo y tan duro que tiene laringitis. Un remedio casero para la ronquera es masticar dos o tres dientes de ajo por unos días. Por suerte el Capitán habían tenido algún en su despensa. Dijo Bizi que investigaría los extraños en el jardín cuando su voz volvía. Si mientras el Capitán estaba recuperando, Bizi fui en el jardín……

Well done, my suggestions would be as follows: smile Like Annie I would suggest perhaps doing a little research and study on the personal 'a' wink

en el monte australiano - no 'de' needed

utilizado PARA localizar/encontrar A las personas - personal a

o PARA indicar su propia posición - i think locación is a false friend

por tanto tiempo y con tal fuerza

había desarollado - he had developed ..

durante unos pocos días - for a few days

tenía algunos en ...

dijo A Bizi (personal a)

investigaría A los extraños (personal a)

cuando volvió su voz - one off action, once it had returned it couldn't keep going on returning if you know what i mean, jeje

Entonces, mientras QUE el capitán SE estaba recuperando

Bizi entró en el jardin

updated Jan 16, 2012
edited by Kiwi-Girl
posted by Kiwi-Girl
I love the way you're tackling the corrections Kiwi - very clear and easy to understand. And just an aside I went "looking" to today in Paralee's lessons for a revision of the person "a" but couldn't find anything specific. - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
Could you point us in the right direction perhaps? - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
Oops "personal a" I meant to say .... - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
This might be a good start ;) http://www.studyspanish.com/lessons/persa.htm - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 15, 2012
Thanx Annie, you guys are definitely keeping me on my toes here, no easy stuff for Captain Irr and his crew ;) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 15, 2012
Muchas gracias por esa enlace, ya estoy en eso :) - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
I am really trying hard to put into practice some things. I made a great deal of mistakes and I'm grateful you followed through each of them. If I had a plate of cookies I'd share them! I just looked up the personal "a" link and will study that one. - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
I totally forgot about that little "a", I'll try to think about it for the next adventure!! - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
Yo también Bandit..... - nonombre, Jan 16, 2012
Near the end of that article it says, "it is normal to expect that the student will forget to use it until a pattern of use has been established. That's what we are shooting for!! " - bandit51jd, Jan 16, 2012
Then it says, "to not use the personal "a" is a serious error." Maybe we need a 25 cent jar for each time we forget until it becomes the established pattern!! lol - bandit51jd, Jan 16, 2012
je je don't worry you'll get there - perhaps just try to get into the habit of asking yourself - is there more than one person in the sentence? hmmm I might check if one is the direct object (receiving the action of the verb) because then I'll need an a - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
ps I hope the bickies are chocolate ;) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
3
votes

@ Ray

El capitán y su amiga vieron un caballo blanco en el jardin , hay un mensaje

había un mensaje - there 'was' in the past

con un caballo leer, " esto caballo es un regalo por ti , para a busca por el tesoro

con 'el caballo' decía "este caballo es un regalo para ti para buscar el tesoro

*- para ti - remember para goes before a destination even if it's a person that the present is going to**- buscar includes the 'for' - how handy wink*

del rei de Katoomba, la mitad del tesoro es para ti. " El capitán era muy emocionado

del Rey Katoomba, ......... estaba muy emocionado

estaba - we;; done on choosing the imperfect but it's estar because it's an emotion

porque le gustado tesoro y buscando por algo perdido y ricos, él montando el caballo

porque le gustaba(n) tesoro y buscar algo perdido y valioso, se montó .... I'm not sure actually whether it would sound >better to have gustaba in the sing or gustaban in the plural

y fue en busca del tesoro.

nice one getting the 'en busca de' in search of wink

the Captain and his friend saw a white horse in the garden , there was a message on

it , it read , " This horse is a present for you so that you can search for the treasure

of the King of Katoomba, half of the treasure is for you ." The Captain was very excited because he liked treasure and looking for things that were lost and valuable. He mounted the horse and

went in search of the treasure.

updated Jan 15, 2012
posted by Kiwi-Girl
thankyou Kiwi , i cannot believe that i forgot the english sentence ,i was in a hurry and doing "things" on Skype at the same time , i made a bit of a dogs breakfast of these sentences , I shall try better next time.. - ray76, Jan 14, 2012
you did well, that was a pretty complex story, well done :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 14, 2012
2
votes

@ Sandy

Porque El Capitán tenía que comer ajo, estaba en el jardín cuando el caballo vino y el caballo no fue solo. Un perro había seguido el caballo y era un perro muy bueno -- un perro trufero y ¡Qué milagro! Este perro pudo encontrar el ajo y muchas otras cosas como algunos truferos muy preciosos que El Capitán va a vender por mucho dinero.

Because the Captain had to eat garlic, he was in the garden when the horse came and the horse was not alone. A dog had followed the horse and it was a very good dog -- a truffle dog and - What a miracle! This dog could find the garlic and many other things like many very valuable truffles that the Captain is going to sell for tons of money.

Well done Sandy smile

My suggestions are:

el caballo no estaba solo. (Estar solo for being alone and it wasn't an action but a state so it's the imperfect.)

podría encontrar - could find - conditional (pudo means could and did)

como muchas trufas muy valerosoas

I wonder if the verb tenses are quite right for the last bit Sandy - the dog could find (he has the ability but he hasn't yet) so I think it would be better to say that the Captain 'could' sell smile podría vender

updated Jan 16, 2012
posted by Kiwi-Girl
Thank you very much, Kiwi! - sanlee, Jan 16, 2012
de nada :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
2
votes

@ Jenny O

Well done Jenny, good to see you're pushing the vocab smile

I'm still not great on figuring out the best order of adjectives when there's more than one and a native speaker would be much better at knowing which way would sound better but these are my suggestions:

The captain rode his magnificent steed through craggy mountain passes and narrow stoney tracks ,following the directions meticulously enscribed on the old parchment he found attached to the white horse in his garden.

El capitán montó su magnífico caballo a través de escarpado motaña pasos y estrecha pedregosa vías ,siguiendo direcciones meticulosamente inscribió en el viejo pergamino encontró pegado al caballo blanco en su jardín.

Well done Jenny, good to see yourself pushing the vocab smile

I'm still not great on figuring out the best order of adjectives when there's more than one and a native speaker would be much better at knowing which way would sound better but these are my suggestions:

steed= corcel

mountain pass: desfiladero or puerto de montaña

directions = indicaciones (I think direcciónes is a false friend)

attached - perhaps atar would be good, pegado could work but really means stuck

El Capitán montó su corcel magnífico a través de puertos de escarpados montañas y senderos estrechos y pedregosos , siguiendo indicaciones escrito meticulosamente en el viejo pergamino que encontró atado al caballo blanco en su jardín.

updated Jan 16, 2012
edited by Kiwi-Girl
posted by Kiwi-Girl
Sí, hay palabras nuevas y maravillas para nosotros :) - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
directions - indicaciones (he asked me for directions to the station -> me preguntó cómo se llegaba a la estación ) - eddersed, Jan 15, 2012
attached - adjuntado - eddersed, Jan 15, 2012
stuck - atascado (stuck in something or a situation) - eddersed, Jan 15, 2012
awesome thanx Ed - would you use adjuntado for a letter attached to a horse though? isn't that used more for attached/enclosed for documents? That's why I suggested atado which I know means tied but I thought it was better than stuck as in glued - pegad - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
ooops pegado :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
2
votes

¡Cooee! es un grito que está utilizado en del el monte australiano. Está utilizado para encontrar a las personas desaparecidas o para indicar su propia posición. la locación propia. El Capitán había gritado por tan largo tanto tiempo y tan duro con tal fuerza que tiene había desarollado laringitis. Un remedio casero para la ronquera es masticar dos o tres dientes de ajo durante unos pocos días. por unos días. Por suerte el Capitán habían tenido algún tenía algunos en su despensa. Dijo a Bizi que investigaría a los extraños en el jardín cuando volvío su voz. volvía. Si Entonces, mientras que el Capitán se estaba recuperando, Bizi fui entró en el jardín……

Cooee! is a cry that is used in the Australian Bush. It is used to find missing persons or to indicate one´s own location. The Captain had shouted so long and so hard that he had developed laryngitis. A home remedy for hoarseness is to chew 2-3 garlic cloves for a few days. Luckily the Captain had some in his pantry. He told Bizi that he would investigate the strangers in the garden when his voice returned. So while the Captain was recuperating, Bizi went into the garden……..

updated Jan 16, 2012
edited by bandit51jd
posted by bandit51jd
Kiwi, I´m sure I´ve got past and present confused and the tenses. Any correction are appreciated! - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
That's a great follow-on story-line Bandit. I love seeing what you guys come up with. And when you're writing more than once sentence keeping all your tenses correct and in-line with each other - it's a lot harder than it looks eh? - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
You did well Bandit, I've posted my suggestions below :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 15, 2012
I left you a thank you, Kiwi, below on your corrections! - bandit51jd, Jan 15, 2012
:) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
1
vote

Edit:

Porque El Capitán tenía que comer ajo, estaba en el jardín cuando el caballo vino y el caballo no estaba solo. Un perro había seguido el caballo y era un perro muy bueno -- un perro trufero y ¡Qué milagro! Este perro podría encontrar el ajo y muchas trufas muy valerosoas que El Capitán podría vender por mucho dinero.

Porque El Capitán tenía que comer ajo, estaba en el jardín cuando el caballo vino y el caballo no fue solo. Un perro había seguido el caballo y era un perro muy bueno -- un perro trufero y ¡Qué milagro! Este perro pudo encontrar el ajo y muchas otras cosas como algunos truferos muy preciosos que El Capitán va a vender por mucho dinero.

Because the Captain had to eat garlic, he was in the garden when the horse came and the horse was not alone. A dog had followed the horse and it was a very good dog -- a truffle dog and - What a miracle! This dog could find the garlic and many other things like many very valuable truffles that the Captain is going to sell for tons of money.

Photobucket

updated Jan 16, 2012
edited by sanlee
posted by sanlee
So that's what truffle dogs look like? Sanlee I am rotf - laughing way too much to comment in Spanish :) - nonombre, Jan 15, 2012
Well done Sandy, I've posted my suggestions below :) - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
I'm still laughing at the "truffle dog"................. - nonombre, Jan 16, 2012
it must be huge, look how small the dogs in the background look! - Kiwi-Girl, Jan 16, 2012
I didn't even see them - now I'm laughing more - so ..."The Giant Truffle Dog and his Trufflets" - (or Tuffelettes)....now's there's an idea for a story-line. - nonombre, Jan 16, 2012
Or even "truffle-bait" ....yep, I need to get out more often :( ...but still laughing - nonombre, Jan 16, 2012
It sound like a good name for a band --Truffle and his Trufflettes??? - sanlee, Jan 16, 2012