Searching preterit/imperfect-expert for proofreading a paragraph that I wrote
The exercise was to write a paragraph in which I tell about something that has happened to me recently. The main challenge was, of course, to make the correct distinction between the preterit and imperfect tenses. There's also a bolded word that I'm particularly uncertain about whether it's correct.
Spanish:
1) Me desperté y miré que hora es porque no tenía nada idea por cuantos horas había dormido. 2) El reloj de pared me contió que era las ocho y media de la tarde que era ajeno porque estaba luz todavía. 3) Caminé a la ventana y abrí las curtinas. 4) Estaba mirando a mi vencina tendiendo la ropa cuando sentí que mi amante me hube reunido. 5) Nos estabamos preguntando como habíamos dormido por toda la noche mientras escuchando a la canción que cantaba la vencina. 6) De repente sonó una voz de detrás del cuardo que dijo "sois muertos". 7) Me di cuenta en había un 'telescreen' ahí a lo largo y en que, en efecto, eran muertos.
English:
1) I woke up and checked the time because I had no idea for how long I had slept. 2) The clock told me it was 8.30pm which was strange because it was still light. 3) I walked to the window and opened the curtains. 4) I was watching my neighbor hanging the laundry when I felt that my lover had joined me. 5) We were wondering how we could have slept all through the night while listening to the song that the neighbor sang. 6) Suddenly we heard a voice coming from behind the painting that said "you are dead". 7) I then realised that there had been a telescreen there all along and that, indeed, we were dead.
Thanks in advance.
4 Answers
Spanish
1) Me desperté y miré la hora, porque no tenía ni idea de cuántas horas había dormido.
2) El reloj de pared mostraba las ocho y media de la noche (a)**, lo** que era raro porque estaba claro todavía.
3) Caminé hacia la ventana y abrí las cortinas.
4) Estaba mirando a mi vencina tendiendo la ropa cuando sentí que mi amante se había puesto junto a mí (b).
Simpler this way, eh?
5) Nos preguntábamos cómo habíamos dormido (I'd prefer "podido dormir") por toda la noche escuchando la canción que cantaba la vencina.
6) De repente sonó una voz de detrás del cuadro que dijo "estáis muertos".
7) Me di cuenta en (c) que había un 'telescreen (d)' ahí a lo largo (e) y en que, en efecto, estabamos muertos.
This is also a complex sentence. I think it's easier if I rewrite it for you, and you try to figure out why this works better:
Me di cuenta de que todo este tiempo o que había allí había sido un telescreen, y que en efecto, estábamos muertos.
Sidenotes:
(a) Are you sure it's noche? I thought noche started at 9 or 10.
On my side of the world, night begins at around 7 pm.
(b) Difficult piece. Is it correct now?
Difficult. I corrected it for you.
(c) My grammar book says 'darse cuenta en'.
Your grammar book is wrong, then.
(d) I'm describing an event from the book 1984 and telescreen, which is practically a combination of a tv-screen -but one that you can't turn off and whatever it displays is controlled by the authorities - and a surveillance camera, is a term specific to that book.
Ok.
(e) As for a lo largo, I took that directly from this website's dictionary as a translation for all along, but I probably misinterpreted its usage in English. Could you give me some help with a Spanish expression for something that has been there all the time (without my knowing)?
I rewrote it for you.
Spanish:
1) Me desperté y miré la hora es porque no tenía nada (need a different word here) idea de cuántas horas había dormido.
2) El reloj de pared me contió que era use "mostrar", with the right tense! ;.) las ocho y media de la noche que era ajeno (different word) porque estaba claro todavía.
3) Caminé a la ventana y abrí las cortinas.
4) Estaba mirando a mi vencina tendiendo la ropa cuando sentí que mi amante me hube reunido Need a somewhat different construction here.
5) Nos estabamos preguntando (only one word is enough here) cómo habíamos dormido por toda la noche mientras escuchando (Different tense here) a la canción que cantaba la vencina.
6) De repente sonó una voz de detrás del cuadro que dijo "sois (this is not ser, therefore it must be....?) muertos". 7) Me di cuenta de que había un 'telescreen' (what is this? find the right word) ahí a lo largo (wrong expression) y en que, en efecto, eran (not "ser", wrong person) muertos.
English:
1) I woke up and checked the time because I had no idea for how long I had slept. 2) The clock told me it was 8.30pm, which was strange because it was still light. 3) I walked to the window and opened the curtains. 4) I was watching my neighbor hanging the laundry, when I felt that my lover had joined me. 5) We were wondering how we could have slept all through the night while listening to the song that the neighbor sang. 6) Suddendly, ( we heard)a voice sounded from behind the painting that said "you are dead". 7) I then realised that there had been a telescreen (?) there all along and that, indeed, we were dead.
Sidenotes:
(a) Are you sure it's noche? I thought noche started at 9 or 10.
On my side of the world, night begins at around 7 pm.
In Spain it gets dark around seven at this time of the year...however, we always say las 7 de la tarde, nunca de la noche, al menos por aquí
(c) My grammar book says 'darse cuenta en'. 
Your grammar book is wrong, then.
Vamos, no he visto nunca nada igual, vaya librito
Thanks for taking the effort of highlighting my mistakes. I'm happy to see that there were no mistakes in the preterit/imperfect-department. Here goes Take 2:
Spanish
1) Me desperté y miré la hora porque no tenía ni idea por cuántas horas había dormido.
2) El reloj de pared mostró las ocho y media de la noche (a) que era raro porque estaba claro todavía.
3) Caminé a la ventana y abrí las cortinas.
4) Estaba mirando a mi vencina tendiendo la ropa cuando sentí que mi amante se había puesto junto a mí (b).
5) Nos preguntaba cómo habíamos dormido por toda la noche mientras escuchaba la canción que cantaba la vencina.
6) De repente sonó una voz de detrás del cuardo que dijo "estáis muertos".
7) Me di cuenta en (c) que había un 'telescreen (d)' ahí a lo largo (e) y en que, en efecto, estabamos muertos.
Sidenotes:
(a) Are you sure it's noche? I thought noche started at 9 or 10.
(b) Difficult piece. Is it correct now?
(c) My grammar book says 'darse cuenta en'.
(d) I'm describing an event from the book 1984 and telescreen, which is practically a combination of a tv-screen -but one that you can't turn off and whatever it displays is controlled by the authorities - and a surveillance camera, is a term specific to that book.
(e) As for a lo largo, I took that directly from this website's dictionary as a translation for all along, but I probably misinterpreted its usage in English. Could you give me some help with a Spanish expression for something that has been there all the time (without my knowing)?
