mistakes in this writing
World in a green way.
2 Answers
This is very well written. Well done! A few minor errors, plus a suggestion.
This picture shows the garden of a detached house built near the sea. In this garden, there is a big swimming pool and some small trees. The water of the swimming pool seems to be in contact with the water of the sea. There is a young boy who wears red swimming trunks and he is leaping into the swimming pool. On the left side of the picture, we can see a middle-aged man who is wearing a white T-shirt and white trousers. He is sitting on a chair behind a table. He has left his sunglasses and a glass of water on the table. He is reading an economy newspaper. This picture is an advertisement for a Swiss bank. The slogan of the advertisement is “Sustainable investing is no leap into the unknown”. Renewable energies such as hydropower open up interesting investment possibilities while helping to shape the world in a sustainable way – for you and for future generations. Bank Sarasin leads in the field of sustainable investing and offers services and investment solutions tailored to your personal needs - while contributing to the world of tomorrow". This advertisement makes me think about the global economy. Usually big banks invest in big companies that control the businesses of petrol, arms, pharmacy and computers. These companies also work in emerging countries and they profit from non-regulated work systems. So their employees work six or seven days per week and more than ten hours per day. Furthermore, army business from important countries like the USA or Germany sell arms to poor countries where kids and young people fight each other without any sense. (This construction is a little awkward. Better perhaps to say "fight each other for no logical reason.") Also, nowadays, petrol and computers move the world, so these big companies control parts of our lives, our travels, our information, etc. On the other hand, Bank Sarasin invests in renewable energies like sunlight and hydropower, types of businesses that do not produce waste and do not pollute, so they try to keep the World green.
The first half is almost perfect. Near the end you made some mistakes, but overall a pretty good job!
This picture shows the garden of a detached house built near the sea. In this garden, there is a big swimming pool and some small trees. The water of the swimming pool seems to be in contact with the water of the sea. There is a young boy who wears a red swimming trunks and he is leaping into the swimming pool. On the left side of the picture, we can see a middle-aged man who is wearing a white T-shirt and white trousers. He is sitting on a chair behind a table. He has left his sunglasses and a glass of water on the table. He is reading a economy financial newspaper. This picture is an advertisement of a Swiss bank. The slogan of the advertisement is “Sustainable investing is no leap into the unknown”. Renewable energies such as hydropower open up interesting investment possibilities while helping to shape the world in a sustainable way – for you and for future generations. Bank Sarasin leads in the field of sustainable investing and offers services and investment solutions tailored to your personal needs - while contributing to the world of tomorrow. This advertisement makes me think about the global economy. Usually big banks invest in big companies that control the business of the petrol, arms, pharmacy and computers. This These companies also work in emergent countries and they take profit of from non regulated work systems. So theirs employers their employees work six or seven days per week and more than ten hours per day. Furthermore, army business from important countries like the USA or Germany sells arms to poor countries where kids and young people fight each other without any sense reason. Also, nowadays, the petrol and the computers move the world, so this these big companies control part of our lives, our travels, our information, etc. On the other hand, Bank Sarasin invests in renewable energies like sunlight and hydropower, a type and the kind of factories that do not produce waste and do not pollute, so they try to keep the World green. in a way.
