Could you proofread my English text?
This is the 4th part of my Essay, the conclusion.
It should be evident that the arguments against students should no be required to wear uniforms are not valid. On the contrary, using uniforms at school express and manifest uniformity and dissolves all kind of socio-economic discriminations. Furthermore, wearing uniforms has a good serious attitude towardas at school because it shows the values, reliability, and desire to learn. If someone came to observe the school and they see people with a tattos shorty-shorts high heels shorts shirts and make-up all over, this person would not think the school is all that serious. That is why I disagree that students should not be required to wear uniforms
Thanks.
3 Answers
It should be evident that the argument about students not being required to wear uniforms is not valid. On the contrary,wearing uniforms at school expresses and manifests uniformity and dissolves all kinds of socio-economic discrimination. Furthermore, the wearing of uniforms conveys a serious attitude towards school because it displays values, reliability, and a desire to learn. If someone came to observe the school and they saw people with tattoos, short-shorts, high heels, short skirts and wearing excessive make-up, that person would not think the school is all that serious. That is why I agree that students should be required to wear uniforms.
Your overall paragraph here is good, but it does have a several things that need to be corrected.
First...
It should be evident that the arguments against students should no be required to wear uniforms are not valid.
If I understand correctly what you are trying to say, I think a better way to put it would be "It should be evident that the arguments against required uniforms in schools are not valid."
Second...
Furthermore, wearing uniforms has a good serious attitude towardas at school because it shows the values, reliability, and desire to learn.
I'm not quite sure what you meant here but I think that you are trying to say something more alongs the line of this: "Furthermore, wearing uniforms promotes a good, serious attitude at school because it shows the school's values, reliability, and desire to learn."
Third...
That is why I disagree that students should not be required to wear uniforms
Your sentence here does, technically, make sense but too many negative words can be confusing when reading. It would be a little easier to understand as "That is why I believe students should be required to wear uniforms."
It should be evident that the arguments that students should not be required to wear uniforms are not valid. On the contrary, using uniforms at school expresses and manifests uniformity and dissolves all kind of social or economic discriminations. Furthermore, wearing uniforms shows a good serious attitude towards school because it shows the values, reliability, and desire to learn. If someone came to observe the school and they see people with tattoos, shorty-shorts, high heels, short shirts and make-up all over, this person would not think the school is all that serious. That is why I disagree with the idea that students should not be required to wear uniforms.
