Please could you proofread my English mistakes?

Question

Please could you proofread my English mistakes?

I disagree with the position of that there are many famous Athletes such as David Beckham, Cristiano Romaldo, and others who with the endorsement deal with great Companies such Adidas, Sumsung, PepsiCo and others earn million of dollars every year. The same is with many famous entertaiments who sign great deals for make a film. Although the Companies and some people give them the endorsement deal to earn much money, there are two important reason that not allow that there are people that have so much money while other people is dying of hunger.

Opponents claim than these athletes do companies make money, it is for that they endorsement deal with so much money because with the auspice they became more popular . However, I think that these companies would have more popularity if help to the poor people that are dying of hunger. For example, in Africa a child dies every three seconds from extreme poverty, often before from their fith birthday.

Opponents also maintain that in the case of the actors and actresses there are someone that help to the poor people. However, the real help that can be to a country with the education. For example, India to improved the level of its culture educating to their children, and normally this famous do not have much to contribute to the education.

In conclusion, It should be evident that the arguments of the Companies that supporting famous are not valid. On the contrary many people think like me that the two important reasons that are education and the hunger people of the Africa does not allow the ostentatios of the famous. Therefore in my opinion, I disagree with the people that support to the famous.

Thanks

Answer 1

You wrote this	I think you wanted to say this
I disagree with the position of that there are many famous Athletes such as David Beckham, Cristiano Romaldo, and others who with the endorsement deal with great Companies such Adidas, Sumsung, PepsiCo and others earn million of dollars every year. The same is with many famous entertaiments who sign great deals for make a film. Although the Companies and some people give them the endorsement deal to earn much money, there are two important reason that not allow that there are people that have so much money while other people is dying of hunger.	It concerns me that famous athletes such as David Beckham or Cristiano Romaldo make millions of dollars every year from product endorsement deals that they enter into with big companies like Adidas, Samsung, Pepsi and others while underprivileged people are dying of hunger. In addition, famous performance stars get lucrative acting contracts with movie makers for big dollar contracts. There are at least two important reasons why this kind of greed offends me.

I think what you need to do, is to first write out what you want to say in Spanish. It's important for you to write it in a logical manner expressing yourself in your mother tongue so that what you write makes sense in Spanish. Then you can better translate your logical Spanish document into better and more logical English. When I look at your next three paragraphs, I do not think they tell readers what you want to say in a logical and understandable way.

Why not write out each paragraph in a separate Question or Reply window, first in Spanish and then translated into English.

Muchos saludos/Best regards,
Feliz Navidad/Merry Christmas,

Moe

Moe I read this one about five times trying to think of how to handle it. Nice job!! Happy holidays to you! - Yeser007, Dec 16, 2011

Yeser I can tell you I did not understand it the first few times either. I only hope that I eventually came close to what was wanted. - Moe, Dec 16, 2011

Answer 2

I disagree with the position of that there are many famous athletes such as David Beckham, Cristiano Romaldo, and others who, with the endorsement deal with great Companies such Adidas, Samsung, PepsiCo and others, earn millions of dollars every year. The same is with many famous filmmakers who sign great deals, to make a film. Although the Companies and some people give them the endorsement deal to earn much money, there are two important reasons that do not allow that there are people that have so much money while other people are dying of hunger. Opponents claim that these athletes do company endorsement deal to make money, it is for that they endorsement deal with so much money because with the auspice they became more popular. However, I think that these companies would have more popularity if help to the poor people that are dying of hunger. For example, in Africa a child dies every three seconds from extreme poverty, often before their fifth birthday. Opponents also maintain that in the case of the actors and actresses there are someone that helps to the poor people. However, the real help that can be to a country with the education. For example, India to improve the level of its culture educating to their children, and normally this famous do not have much to contribute to the education. In conclusion, it should be evident that the arguments of the Companies that supporting famous are not valid. On the contrary many people think like me that the two important reasons that are education and the hunger people of the Africa do not allow the ostentatios of the famous. Therefore in my opinion, I disagree with the people that give support to the famous. Thanks