Watching Tv is bad for children 2

Question

I have tried to improve the thesis statement of this Introductory paragraph, please coud you check this , please?

TV programs entertain public for hours, especilly children who if not controlled by their parents are capable of spending several hours playing wifi games or watching TV programs for over two hours. Although some parents and researchers oppose that children watching TV because it is bad for them, there is some evidence that these gadgets as well as more advanced ones of our time contain educational and interesting programs for our children but also contain bad and pointless programs.

Thanks

I don't think "capable" really fits here... it usually refers to an actual physical limitation. Capable: having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to do or achieve a specified thing. :) - groovy, Dec 12, 2011

Thanks groovy, and what do you think that would be? - maylegoas, Dec 12, 2011

Answer 1

Try this:

TV programs entertain people for hours, especially children who, if not controlled by their parents, are capable of spending several hours playing wifi games or watching TV programs. for over two hours. Although some parents and researchers oppose that parents allowing children to watch TV because it is bad for them, there is some evidence that these gadgets, as well as more advanced ones of our time, contain educational and interesting programs for our children. But it is also true that they contain bad and pointless programs.

thanks Goyo - maylegoas, Dec 12, 2011

Answer 2

I would write “TV programs are designed to entertain the public for hours. Children are especially vulnerable to their influence. If not watched closely by their parents’ children may spend countless hours watching TV or playing wifi games. There are some researchers and parents who oppose children watching TV because it is bad for them while others recognize that there are some educational programs that are good for children to watch. Parents need to be aware of the time and content of the programs and games the children are exposed to.”

Good job. - MLucie, Dec 12, 2011

Thanks sandrazavala - maylegoas, Dec 12, 2011

sandrazavala, could be while there are some evidence that recognize that there are....., instead of while others recognize that there are...? - maylegoas, Dec 12, 2011

You could say that, May, but it wouldn't be as good. The sentence is a contrast between the first part of the sentence and the second part, seperated by "while". The first part is about "some researchers and parents". - Goyo, Dec 12, 2011

So the second part of the sentence should be about *other* researchers and parents, who have a different point of view. - Goyo, Dec 12, 2011

Answer 3

I hope you come back and notice that I added two commas to my original correction:

these gadgets, as well as more advanced ones of our time,

Thanks Goyo, your notice is oppropriate, because I had seen it, thanks - maylegoas, Dec 12, 2011