My Essay Part 2 about Stress

Question

My dear teachers, this is the third paragraph of my small Essay. Could you see the before to proofread my English mistakes?

Other cause of stress may be that these women do not have money to face all their kids' problems; thus, they were obligated to work (first turn), and to study (second turn) to superate and to get better jobs. As a result of all problems that they have, starting with headaches and migraine.

Thanks

Answer 1

Hola, Mayle!

Another cause of stress may be that these woman do not have enough money to face all of their kids' problems; thus, they were obligated to work and study to improve themselves and get better jobs. As a result of all the problems that they have, these women start to experience headaches and migraines.

I'm not sure what "first turn" and "second turn" mean, though, so I took them out.

Excellent job!

thus - lorenzo9, Nov 10, 2011

thanks SonrisaDelSo y ya te lo dije tú eres una gran teacher. - maylegoas, Nov 10, 2011

Thanks, Lorenzo, y de nada mi amiga :) - SonrisaDelSol, Nov 10, 2011