Please, could you proofread my English mistakes? 5

Question

Please Could you help me

Being Rosita the first student of her promotion, she was required for the main companies, and she began to set goals in order to the best worker of the Company, . Rosita was called for a transnational Company and she began to fulfill their goals already mapped out which were the following: First of all, socialize with co-workers exchanging emails and phone numbers; next, look for a co-worker that has similar goals of improving in their job performance. After that, make a note of people's birth dates in order to wish them best wishes on their birthday; as soon as possible, take pictures for posting on face book. Finally, promote a sense of cooperation between co-workers. I want say to you that with these goals Rosita was the best worker and she gradually was promoted, now she is the manager of this Company.

Thanks

Answer 1

Being that Rosita was the first ****student of her promotion**, **she was required for the main companies****(No sé lo que tratas de decir aqui), and she began to set goals in order to be the best worker in the Company. Rosita was called by a transnational company, and she began to fulfill their goals that had already been mapped out. These goals were the following: first of all, socialize with co-workers by exchanging emails and phone numbers; next, look for a co-worker that has similar goals of improving their job performance; after that, make a note of people's birth dates in order to give them best wishes on their birthday; and as soon as possible, take pictures for posting on face book; finally, promote a sense of cooperation between co-workers. With these goals Rosita was the best worker and she gradually was promoted. Now she is the manager of this Company.<

Just a note: the sentence with all of the semi-colons seems way too long. Normally when listing things after a colon, you want the listed objects to be short. This makes the writing seem less cluttered. When in doubt, put a period and start a new sentence. Also, try to avoid using the same word twice in a sentence. (wish them best wishes) This is minor, but can disrupt the sentence. I did not add all the corrections I wanted to, because I did not want to take too much of your writing out of the piece. All in all, though, you are heading in the right direction!

Answer 2

to " be " the best. ". goals for improving their job performance.

" to give "them best wishes .

Except for the missing " be " the rest is nit - picking , it is very good.

Thanks ray76 - maylegoas, Nov 4, 2011