Please, could you proofread my English mistakes? 3
Could you help me, please......
This day, during the presentation; her family proud are in the first row. Rosita, greet with the best smile; meanwhile the master of ceremonies introduce her; then, She start her presentation greeting to the audience and speaking clearly. Immediately, she put in function the several steps that she had prepared before, and these were: first, keep eye contact with the audience. Second, moving while speaking with total security. Third, stop in the main points, giving some examples, and this point she was very gracious because related funny moments with her classmates. Next she run the Power Point while she explain funny and difficult moments with her partners. Rosita to conclude her presentation summarizing the main points. When she end, the audience stood up and applauded her in special her parents. The presentation of Rosita was a success.
Thanks
2 Answers
Hi Maylegoas! It's nice to meet you. I was in Peru this summer. I have a few suggestions. See them below.
This day, during the presentation; her family proud are in the first row. Rosita, greet with the best smile; meanwhile the master of ceremonies introduce her; then, She start her presentation greeting to the audience and speaking clearly. Immediately, she put in function the several steps that she had prepared before, and these were: first, keep eye contact with the audience. Second, moving while speaking with total security. Third, stop in the main points, giving some examples, and this point she was very gracious because related funny moments with her classmates. Next she run the Power Point while she explain funny and difficult moments with her partners. Rosita to conclude her presentation summarizing the main points. When she end, the audience stood up and applauded her in special her parents. The presentation of Rosita was a success.
My suggestions:
Today, during the presentation, her proud family was sitting in the first row. Rositia, greeted everyone with her best smile and meanwhile, the master of ceremonies introduced her. Then, she started her presentation, greeting the audience and speaking clearly. Immediately, she put into place several steps that she had prepared before and these were :
First, to keep eye contact with the audience.
Second, to move while speaking with total confidence.
Third, to stop at the main points and give some examples, which she did very well by relating funny moments with her classmates.
Next, she ran the Power Point while she explained some funny and difficult moments that she had experienced with her partners. Finally, Rosita concluded her presentation with a summary of the main points and when she finished the audience stood up and applauded her and her parents in a standing ovation. Rosita's presentation was a tremendous success.
I wouln't use so many commas. Here's the corrected version, but make sure to understand your mistakes!
Today during the presentation her parents are sitting proudly in the first row. Rosita greets (the audience?) with her best smile while the master of ceremonies introduces her. Then she starts her presentation by greeting the audience and speaking clearly. She immediately puts the several steps into function that she had prepared before the speech. These were to keep eye contact with the audience, to move while speaking with confidence, and to give examples with her main points. At this point she was very gracious because she related funny memories with her classmates. Next, she ran the PowerPoint as she explained funny and difficult moments with her classmates. Rosita concluded her presentation by summarizing the main points. When she ended her speech the audience stood up and applauded her, especially her parents. Rosarita's presentation was a success!
Hope this helps! Buenas suerte!
