Please proofread this translation, thanks

Question

There are a lot of idioms in here, any help is much appreciated. Thanks!

This is from a script. A dying time traveller makes one final trip to see the woman he loved. He learns as they talk that it's just after midnight on New Year's, and she'll meet him for the first time in a few months. I know the script format doesn't work well here, so to help tell the difference the girl's lines are in bold.

Rose is walking home and sees a man leaning against a wall for support

• R: You alright, mate?
• D: Yeah.
• R: Too much to drink?
• D: Something like that.
• R: Maybe it’s time you went home.
• D: Yeah.
• R: Anyway, happy new year!
• D: And you…What year is this?
• R: Blimey, how much have you had? 2005, January the first!
• D: 2005? Tell you what, I bet you’re gonna have a really great year.
• R: Think so?...well, see you!

Rosa está caminando a casa, y mira a un hombre apoyandose contra una pared

• R: Oye, hombre, ¿estás bien?
• D: Sí.
• R: ¿Has tomado demasiado?
• D: Algo así.
• R: ¿Crees que debes irte a casa?
• D: Sí.
• R: Bueno, feliz año nuevo!
• D: Y tú…¿Cuál es el año?
• R: Ay caray, ¿cuánto has bebido? 2005, el primero de enero!
• D: 2005? Te digo, creo que tendrás un año fantástico.
• R: ¿De veras? Pues, hasta luego!

changed formatting - 0074b507, Nov 1, 2011

Thanks! How do you do that on here? - bailarina95, Nov 1, 2011

..is this...Doctor Who? I don't exactly recall it, but st seems as though it's possible... - kiersten11, Nov 18, 2011

It is! It's David Tennant's second-to-last scene! :) - bailarina95, Nov 18, 2011

Answer 1

Hi Bailarina, you did a great job! My suggestion for " Maybe it’s time you went home " is " Tal vez es hora de que te vayas a casa"...Or just add "no" before "¿no crees que debes irte a casa?". I hope to be helpful

You are extremely helpful. Thank you. :) - bailarina95, Nov 1, 2011

Answer 2

Can somebody please at least tell me if it's alright or terrible?

Answer 3

•R: Oye, amigo, ¿estás bien?

•D: Sí.

•R: ¿Has tomado demasiado?

•D: Algo así.

•R: ¿No crees que debes irte a casa?

•D: Sí.

•R: Bueno, ¡feliz año nuevo!

•D: También a tí…¿Qué año es?

•R: Ay, caray, ¿cuánto has bebido? 2005, ¡primero de enero!

•D: ¿2005? ¿Sabes qué?, creo que tendrás un año fantástico.

•R: ¿De veras? Pues, ¡hasta luego!

Excelente traducción: 10!

Cofeelate is right, I think it is better: "¿No crees que debes irte a casa?" - LuisCache, Nov 4, 2011

Answer 4

A question of my own: does the mira un hombre need the personal "a"? I know that the man is not known in the sense that we don't know his identity, but it is referring to a specific man, not a conceptual man (a plumber, a vagrant, etc.)

alright, all right

usage The form alright, though very common, is still considered by many people to be wrong or less acceptable than all right